One Big Happy Family

2012-01-29T06:28:00.000-08:00

Hari ni kita cerita masak sikit la ya..

Sebenarnya stok barang makanan dalam rumah dah tinggal sikit jadi.. jenuh la dok mereka apa nak masak. Sekarang ni dah tak rajin buat stok macam dulu.. Bila nak masak baru beli.. bila malas nak masak, terus beli lauk balik masak nasi. Jadi nina nak kongsi "My Food Emergency List". Ecewah! Bukan apa.. nina selalu stock kan barang-barang ni untuk cater last minute cooking plan. Bukan eksyen taw tapi kot la ada yg kadang2 mati kutu nak masak apa ;D

1. Telur - staple food okay..

masak kicap, taucu, scrambled egg, sambal telur, sandwich telur, masak kurma, separuh masak, kari telur, nasi goreng cina dan macam2 lagi!!!

2. Makaroni

Makaroni goreng (masak bengong je.. crushed garlic + tomato sauce + chilli sauce + oyster sauce + daun sup (opt) + pcah telur fuuuh)

3. Pasta / Spaghetti

Bolognese, with Sup Ayam, with White Sauce

4. Ikan Bilis

Sambal, Nasi goreng kampung, cucur, kerabu (bawang perah limau je yumss).

5. ROTI!!!! (this should be no 1 haha)

sandwich (mcm2), roti telur, puding roti, toast bread, cicah kari / masak lemak.

kaylah.. nak tgk AJL, nanti sambung hehee

Another Circle of Unaccomplished Resolution

2012-01-20T21:19:00.000-08:00

I was cleaning up my notes and I found a book where I wrote my resolutions last year.. My heart was broken. It were all the same same resolution like this year which means most of them are never accomplished. I have to admit, 2011 was like a roller coaster for me. Despite the unaccomplished resolution, life was at the toughest (I think) and we braved almost all of it. We are now, insyaallah at the end of the roller coaster before another trip of roller coaster that we intend to ride (on our own accord). I remember riding the almost the same roller coaster back then in 2004-2005. We had to cling on to bits and pieces of strength and confidence that we have left in us. Last year or rather, a few months ago, we were reminded by Allah how we felt back then.

It's really strange and weird how we got courage from unexpected people or most of the time strangers. It's good to know who to depend on and who were our foe. Alhamdulillah.. we are grateful for every little help. We do not consider those who backed out as foe, if you ask me the truth.. They were the reasons that we become independent and braver to face judgment and criticism. They were the ones who make us realize that there is strength in us.

The courage and encouragement from people around us.. be it strangers and friends are surely not realized by them at all. I don't even think that they even realized how they have touched our lives positively. We, on the other hand, know exactly who we really owe to. And for this, we tend to cling on to the remarks and encouragement and the trust from them. The time spent, and ears lent are mostly paid back with our prayers to Allah so that they will be helped by others around them the way they helped us.

Mostly we get courage from our kids who makes the best of what we can afford to provide. We are grateful to Allah for having such grateful kids who never really complain or ask for anything. It's sad though, to realize how they have been keeping their needs and necessity to themselves. We never really hide anything from them. Any difficulties that we have are shared with them, not to burden them with the worries, but we believe that they can help especially by praying with us for the best!

Whatever it is.. along the way.. no matter how people affect you.. the one in control is you yourself.. You can't control what people do or say.. but what you can do is to stay as positive as you can and believe that whatever comes in front of you is a test specially for you from Allah the Almighty.. and having said that.. I'd say Alhamdulillah..

I'm Getting Older ;D

2011-11-27T01:46:00.001-08:00

I was doing something else at my computer.. As usual, every Maal Hijrah, tv will be flooded with Malay dramas. Don't get me wrong, I love Malay dramas but then while the kids watch tv, I usually spend time at my computer, playing games, working on stuff that I can't manage to do when Muhammad is around. I do notice one thing lately.. whenever something interesting happened in the drama, I'll go like "what happened?", "why did she die?" bla bla bla.. I guess it happened so often that I realized how irritating I sound to my kids..

I remember those days when my grandma used to visit us.. and she has this habit of narrating and making her own conclusion of the stories hahaha.. I guess.. I'm getting older and I think I've created my own version of my grandma's habit!

Happy Birthday, Mama!!!

2011-11-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

It's my mom's birthday and I'm dedicating this entry to her. Normally I'll sms not because I don't wanna call but I just thought that my mom is an SMS-person, so I think she prefers it that way.

I'm the second in my family and was really stubborn second. But I guess, Allah blessed me with the gift of being the second. I can understand my only daughter, who is the second, perfectly well. It's a very special bond and it was mostly based on my special bond with my mother.

There was once long time ago that I sensed a hint of regret in her about motherhood and I think I could sense questions in her thought.. So, I think, as a birthday gift, I'd love to let her know some of the beautiful things that I remember when I think of her. My mom, a simple person..

My kids enjoy stories about her.. especially when I tell them about her 'doraemon' basket during Qurban at Surau after Aidil Adha prayers. From towels to knife and knife sharpening stone to extra chopping board, drinking water and god knows what else are there in her basket. During outing, there's always be mineral water which she shares with her grandchildren and to my astonishment.. the small bottle never fails to quench their thirst. She hates crowded places but enjoy the company of nature hence the time she spends in her garden.

What she doesn't know that I always find time to sneak in her surau at home to check out her Doa Album because I always remember her copying prayers from Al-Quran as reference and there are volumes of albums with Quranic Verses from eye remedy to verses for broken hearted!

At kampung, she always enjoy the company of her sister, 'Kak Milah', chatting and giggling away while cooking and catching up! What amazes me most is when her slang immediately swopped from 'bandar' to 'Kedah Pekat!' which all of us fail to follow!

After a long hectic journey from 'kampung', the first thing she would do is to do the laundry (???) and immediately prepare meals for us no matter how tired she is. Offer to eat out from my dad will always declined politely without words.

She can sense if something is wrong or kids are not well and can pop up in minutes to make sure that everything is okay. Most of my busy days as a baker is saved from the frozen gravy brought in containers wrapped in newspapers (nowadays she has this cooler bag from hypermarket) during quite frequent visit to my home.

There is a looong list of things that I adore about her.. but I think I'll just stop here.. and let it linger in my heart cause that's where I keep all the good memories about her.. Selamat Hari Lahir, Mama.. Semoga Allah merahmatimu dan dianugerahkan kebahagian di dunia akhirat atas segala kebaikanmu. You've been doing a great job and I just thought you should know that. I wanted to post a picture but I think I'll just respect your privacy! ;D

p/s was thinking of uploading of your FB profile photo!

Down Memory Lane

2011-09-16T09:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but lately I've been thinking a lot about school. This year was the year that we decided to bake full time and take some time sorting some things out especially my notes and teaching ideas that are scattered all over the place. A few weeks ago, I started decluttering my house and threw all the school related papers / books that I have been postponing to throw. Well, in case you are wondering.. I quit my job as a teacher in government school in 2007; not because of my passion as a teacher but because I was quite frustrated with the system. Without realizing (until I write this) 2011 is my 4th year being an almost full time mom.

Today, I logged in my 'other' Facebook account where my friends are all ex-students. I don't know why I logged in but when I look through their photo album and their status, it just struck me. It triggers all the sweet and not so sweet memories being a teacher. Having to quit was painful.. my life belong to my students. I should be teaching.. maybe not as a government school teacher but I should never leave teaching. In fact, I never really did..

Ever since I quit, I never really quit teaching completely.. I rested 1 whole year before I started having baking classes with my friends and neighbours, the very next year, I went teaching a completely new sets of students; kindergarten which was more rewarding and satisfying. The next year, I was nursing my baby full time and the year after, only I did full time baking at home. Yet, I did English camp, volunteering myself at my kids' school and friends' places, training kindy teachers and start experimenting with Fun English activities with little children along the way.

May this year be a starting point for me as a better teacher.. 2012.. insyaallah.. (i'll keep my plans to myself).

UPSR | Good Luck Anak Ibu!

2011-09-12T08:19:00.000-07:00

Percaya tak percaya esok dah exam ya Naufal. Rasa macam Naufal ni kecik je lagi.. alih-alih dah nak masuk remaja. Ibu tahu, memang kali pertama ambil exam.. perasaannya memang mengerikan. Tapi sebenarnyakan Naufal.. perasaan ibu pun ngeri jugak, anak sulung nak ambil exam..

Sebenarnya.. apa yang mampu kita lakukan di saat-saat akhir ialah berdoa dan bertawakal. Jangan sekali berhenti berdoa agar diberikan yang terbaik buat kita. Memang sudah lama kita berusaha.. berikhtiar.. kalau diikutkan UPSR inilah 'summary' apa yang telah dipelajari selama 6 tahun. Tetapi ia hanyalah titik permulaan bagi perjalanan yang masih panjang.

Jangan risau apabila orang mengharapkan kejayaan kita.. kerana mereka semua sayang dan kasihkan kita.. Memang kalau difikirkan saat-saat result akan keluar, terbayang bagaimana orang yang kita kasihi menunggu dan menanti keputusan UPSR itu.. Dengan sebab terlalu memikirkan harapan oranglah kita jadi lagi takut untuk menghadapinya.

Di kala ini, berdoalah agar dapat menjawab soalan dengan tenang, agar apa yang dipelajari ada keberkatannya, agar apa yang dikongsi oleh guru-guru seakan-akan melekat kuat di ingatan. Berdoalah agar Allah mempermudahkan segala urusan dan memberikan waktu yang secukupnya untuk menjawab dengan tenang. Dan yang paling penting.. bertawakallah dengan apa jua keadaan yang akan dihadapi semasa peperiksaan esok; hari yang panas, hujan yang lebat, pemeriksa yang garang, meja yang bergoyang atau apa-apa saja rintangan.

Percayalah.. bahawa segala-gala yang akan dihadapi semasa peperiksaan itu adalah rancangan Allah. Sentiasalah bersangka baik dengan Allah dan percaya bahawa Allah's plan is the best! Dan yang paling penting.. kita hanya mampu merancang.. segala-galanya terletak di tanganNya..

Akhir sekali.. jangan berhenti berdoa.. Bacalah surah Al-Insyirah, semoga dengan keberkatan mukjizat Kalamullah itu, segala-galanya akan dipermudahkan.. Jangan lupa doa Nabi Musa bila berhadapan dengan Firaun (robbishrahli sadri wayassirli amri wahlul uqdatammillisaani yafqahu qauli). Jangan lupa tersenyum kerana senyum itu satu nikmat dari Allah yang mampu menenangkan sesiapa saja yang sedang gundah gulana.Good Luck Naufal.. Doa abah dan buatmu.. yang terbaik.. Semoga dipermudahkan.. amiin amiin ya robbal 'alamiin..

Percayalah Pasangan Kita Yang Terbaik!

2011-09-07T16:49:00.000-07:00

Tajuk simple.. makna begitu mendalam.. Seringkali kita tidak bersyukur dengan pasangan kita walaupun tidak secara terang-terang.. Hati merungut bila ada yang tak kena.. malah ada je yang tak kena.. Sebenarnya percayalah pasangan kita adalah pasangan yang terbaik yang Allah anugerahkan pada kita. Mesti ada sesuatu yang istimewa yang membuatkan kita saling dipasang-pasangkan.

Berdoalah agar kita menjadi pasangan yang bersyukur dengan kehendaknya kerana Allah memang sentiasa memberikan yang terbaik walaupun pada hakikatnya kita tidak nampak apa yang terbaik yang tersirat disebalik yang tersurat. Belajarlah mempercayai taqdir Allah dan anggaplah apa yang 'tak kena' sebagai satu ujian yang mendekatkan diri kita kepadaNya. Percayalah apa yang kita nampak pada orang lain adalah luaran semata-mata yang dalamnya hanya pasangannya yang tahu. Berhentilah meminta pasangan kita menjadi orang lain atau cuba untuk merubahnya menjadi seorang yang ideal seperti yang ada di dalam minda kita. Terimalah pasangan kita seadanya.. kerana insyaallah.. dia juga akan melakukan yang sama.

Berdoalah.. Ya Allah.. semoga kami menjadi pasangan yang terbaik yang dianugerahi kasih sayang dan kebahagiaan yang berpanjangan. Semoga perhubungan ini menjadi perhubungan yang diredhai oleh Mu dan jadikanlah kami pasangan yang bertemu dan berpisah keranaMu.. amiin ammin ya robbal 'alamiin..

The Organizing Queen vs The Queen of Clutter!

2011-09-04T03:43:00.000-07:00

My Personal Stuff [sigh]

I always enjoy the trips to my sister's house.. The way she puts the ketchup and sauce in a stylish manner never fail to amaze me. The forks and spoons are arranged in a closed container, ready to be used whenever guests coming.. and yes, she does a lot of entertaining. Her kitchen towels are always clean and there's a certain ways to arrange plates. (well, I'm so used to seeing her rearranging the plates after me washing them). Seeing her cleaning her kitchen seems so exciting and light! The good thing is, she never really mind if I were to 'copy' her ideas. In fact, yesterday, I bought the exact container that she stores the fork and spoon.

I, on the other hand, always take time to find my things. I just realized a couple of years ago (when I first decided to be a little bit more organized after watching Oprah and Peter Walsh again and again and watched tonnes of Clutter Buster Programme on Metro Channel on Astro) that I'm always the messy one, the procrastinator. Even after numerous attempt to be the domestic goddess, I failed. I come to only one conclusion! I'm a visual person. I need to see things in order to remember. Everything that I organized need to be labelled so that I won't mix up again.

That explains the feeling of disoriented after rearranging and reorganizing my stuff. I always remember where I put stuff before I moved them [sigh] and it's so annoying that it's so frustrating. This time, I hope.. my attempt to get organized will materialize.. I'll just try labelling them.. I don't sound convincing though but honestly.. I'm pretty tired organizing and reorganizing..

The Medicine Section (Hmmm)

p/s will keep you updated with the progress and the strategy ;D

Raya | Raikan Kemenangan Melawan Nafsu dengan Memenuhi Nafsu (makan) huhuhuuuuu

2011-09-01T01:38:00.000-07:00

Terngiang-ngiang peringatan dari Imam semasa khutbah Raya Aidilfitri.. Saya tak ingat 'the exact words" tapi lebih kurang macam ni lah ya.

Ingat! Raya merupakan tanda kita merayakan kemenangan kita melawan nafsu sepanjang ramadhan. Janganlah kita makan sampai tak ingat dunia.

Hmmm.. Hari ini raya pertama dan kedua.. kalau disenaraikan makanan yang kami makan rasanya.. kira burn la perjuangan Ramadhan huhuhuuuuu

lemang dan rendang, nasi impit dan kuah kacang, laksa, nasi lemak, bubur lambuk, masak tempoyak ikan patin, sambal tempoyak ikan bilis, ulam, ikan bakar, tart nenas, choc chip, lemang lagi, sampret peanut butter, kuih bakar durian, kuih mazola.. aduiiiiaii!! tak berani nak senarai apa yang dimakan raya ketiga.. itu pun list tu dah di'edit'' hehe..

Patutlah Allah bagi pahala berganda 6 hari puasa sunat di Syawal.. sesungguhnya Kau Maha Mengetahui.. Astaghfirullah..

Kuih Raya | Mungkinkah Saya Tidak Pandai Ambil Peluang?

2011-08-30T21:09:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. Cerita pasal kuih raya ni.. semenjak saya mengajar di sekolah dulu, memang saya menjual kuih raya.. Masa tu memang tak menang tangan sebab yang beli kuih tu kawan-kawan guru. Bila saya berhenti.. saya masih lagi menjual.. minta tolong kawan saya tolong ambilkan order. Tahun ini pulak, saya serba salah. Harga kuih raya memang melambung tinggi. Terlalu tinggi sampai saya tidak berani meniaga secara terang-terangan. Bayangkan kuih memcecah RM30. Malah ada yang lebih. Mungkinkah mereka menggunakan bahan-bahan yang mahal seperti mentega tulen, icing sugar brand 'King' atau menggunakan badam atau kekacang lain. Mungkin juga mereka terpaksa upah pekerja untuk melakukan kerja-kerja mencetak biskut dan terpaksa menyewa tempat untuk membuat kuih menjadikan kos mereka lebih tinggi.. disamping komisyen penjual.

Tahun ini, saya sekadar menjual pada kawan-kawan rapat dan 'regular customer'. Kawan-kawan yang biasa beli awal-awal sudah membuat tempahan, ada juga 'regular customer' yang sudah bertukar nombor dan tidak dapat dihubungi.. Di Facebook, cuma letakkan gambar sahaja untuk kawan-kawan yang memang menunggu ketibaan Sampret. Marble Shortbread tahun ini berehat walaupun ramai yang bertanya. Margin Marble Shortbread memang tinggi berbanding sampret tapi saya mengalah.. Saya tidak punya modal dan besar apatah lagi modal masa. Marble Shortbread memang mengambil masa untuk disiapkan..

Saya tertanya-tanya.. mungkinkah saya tidak pandai mengambil peluang berniaga. Kenapa tidak saya tidak 'mark up'kan harga setanding harga orang lain bagi mendapat untung lebih.. apatah lagi bila saya tidak menggaji pekerja. Bukankah lebih senang kerja? Bila berkira-kira, cuba untuk menyesali kebodohan saya kerana tidak pandai mengambil peluang.. saya membuat keputusan bahawa sayalah orang yang paling pandai mengambil peluang. Alhamdulillah.. saya tidak perlu menyesal kerana saya telah pun merebut peluang yang hanya datang sekali dalam hidup anak saya. Saya berbelah bahagi kerana Ramadhan inilah bulan terakhir Muhammad menyusu. 7 Syawal merupakan tarikh akhir Muhammad akan menyusu kerana dia akan genap 2 tahun. Saya tidak perlu memilih antara duit lebih atau menyusu kerana saya tahu apa jawapannya.

Alhamdulillah.. ramadhan telah pun berakhir.. dalam tidak mengambil 'order' seperti tahun-tahun lepas, keuntungannya lebih kurang tahun-tahun lepas dan saya juga bingung memikirkan dari mana keuntungan itu diperolehi.. Mungkinkah ini yang dipanggil keberkatan.. Alhamdulillah.. syukur.. kami sekeluarga juga merasa bertarawikh di surau (walaupun saya terpaksa korbankan beberapa hari bertarawikh sendirian di rumah) dan bertadarus walaupun sedikit tetapi istiqamah bersama keluarga (cuma kami ketinggalan 3 hari yang terakhir kerana kepenatan).. dan belajar untuk berqiamulail sejurus sebelum sahur bersama anak-anak.

Doa kami agar Allah memberi petunjuk dan hidayah kepada kami agar lebih istiqamah dalam beribadah di samping melakukan kerja-kerja duniawi.. amiin.

Terawikh | Yeay Yeay! Makcik Garang Period kot!!!

2011-08-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

Sejak dua menjak pergi terawikh kat surau bawak Muhammad ni (2 tahun), sembahyang memang tak boleh khusyuk langsung.. Apa taknya.. bila orang luruskan saf je.. mulalah gelisah.. Ada sekali tu terus kena sound!

"Penuhkan saf depan dulu!!!" [huish garangnyaaaa!!]
"Er.. saya bawak anak ni".

Sejak hari tu, saya terus hafal bunga-bunga corak kat telekung dia.. senang nak elak lain kali hehe.. Seminggu uzur, saya coti, lepas coti, saya pergi balik ke surau.. Rasa macam terbayang-bayang muka makcik garang.. nampak masa majlis Nuzul Quran macam dia, tapi berpakaian biasa tanpa telekung.. ke saya silap orang?

Saya tanya anak saya..
"err.. makcik garang ada tak hari ni?"
"takde"
"ada ke?"
"takde kot"
Pada hakikatnya, kami anak beranak tak tahu sama ada makcik garang dia dan makcik garang saya sama ke tidak sebab kalau masing-masing pakat tunjuk, dah kira mengumpat kan. Tapi mengikut firasat saya, memang sama kot hehe..

Pernah suami menyuruh anak saya pergi mengambil kuih..
"Takpelah.. ada makcik garang".

Hari ni saya ke surau selepas seminggu bercuti.. saya duduk di belakang, saf depan anak-anak perempuan.. sebelah saya seorang ibu yang juga membawa anaknya yang berumur lebih kurang 4 tahun.. Muhammad di kiri saya, dia di kanan saya.. Alamak, semasa tengah sembahyang Muhammad melintas 2-3 kali di depannya.. [Nasiblah kan.. nak buat macam mana]. Selesai sembahyang, dia macam tak kisah je [alhamdulillah].. Rakaat selepasnya.. tiba-tiba anak dia pulak melintas depan saya mengajak Muhammad main [fuuuh.. legaaa.. anak dia pun melintas maknanya selamat la kan, mesti dia pun faham hehe].

Tak lama lepas tu.. tiba-tiba blackout.. Dengar suara-suara kat belakang..
"tu laa.. tak bayar bil letrik la tu" [hahahaha]
"Mana mamaaaa! mamaaaaaa huaaaaa"
"shhh shhh.. mama ada la", sambil mendukung [baiknya budak-budak ni.. tak kenal tapi terus jagakan budak tu]

Selesai 4 rakaat [laa baru 4 rakaat ke?] Bila ustaz bagi tazkirah.. dia menjemput, ibu-ibu masuk ke medan sembahyang utama, minta kaum bapa keluar ke tepi untuk beri ruang.. [Alhamdulillah.. merasa aku tengok ustaz masa dengar ceramah. Alhamdulillah ya Allah.. siap air-con tuuuu].

"Ibu, abah mana"
"Muhammad nak abah ke?" [yeeehhaaaa]
"Ibu, nak abah"
"Nurul, tolong hantar Muhammad kat Abah" [Lega.. boleh la fokus sikit hehe]

Selesai sudah terawikh .. alhamdulillah.. terus terdetik di hati saya
Ya Allah.. terimalah ibadahku, solatku ini.. walaupun aku lalai ya Allah..

Moral of the Story :
Susahnya nak khusyuk sembahyang bila ada anak kecik.. semoga Allah menerima ibadah kita.. kerana kita hanya manusia biasa.. tak lari dari membuat dosa.. Astaghfirullaahal adziim.. Bukan membuka pekung di dada.. tapi sekadar berkongsi cerita agar kita sama-sama berusaha.. Taqabbalallaahu Minkum.. Minna wa minkum taqabbal ya kareem.. amiin..

Wakaf Masjid | Saham Akhirat

2011-08-07T18:55:00.001-07:00

Beberapa tahun dahulu, saya pernah melintasi seorang lelaki tua yang tersenyum dan baik gayanya.. berkopiah, dihadapannya sebuah tabung besar beisi duit ringgit dan syilling di hadapan bank. Saya terus masuk ke bank tersebut. Saya sungguh tertarik kerana dia langsung tidak meminta, tidak merayu.. hanya sekadar tersenyum.

Sebaik sahaja selesai urusan saya di bank, saya keluar dan terus saya menyeluk poket dan mengeluarkan duit dari dalam poket saya.. Saya kira.. kesemuanya.. kalau tak salah saya dalam RM1.60. Agak malu-malu, saya masukkan ke dalam tabung besar, dan dia menghulurkan sekeping resit.. Cepat-cepat saya ambil dan pergi. Langkah saya terhenti apabila ternampak di resit tersebut tertulis RM2.00. Saya patah balik..

"Duit saya tak cukup RM2", dia terus berkata...
"Eh, takpe takpe.. yang penting ikhlas".

Senyumannya cukup untuk menunjukkan yang memang dia maksudkan apa yang dikatakannya. Entah kenapa, pada hari itu, hati saya berbunga-bunya.. terasa besar RM1.60 saya. Ia terus merubah persepsi saya tentang sedeqah. Sejak hari itu, saya tidak pernah malu untuk menghulurkan syilling-syilling lebihan baki sebagai sedeqah walaupun bunyinya begitu kuat membuktikan bilangannya berbanding dengan helaian kertas. Saya faham.. jika kita menderma RM0.20, nilainya lebih besar daripada RM20.00 jika dilakukan dengan hati yang ikhlas. Mungkinkah di akhirat nanti, nilai RM0.20 saya itu lebih besar pahalanya berbanding duit-duit yang beratus-ratus ribu jika dilakukan semata-mata di hadapan kamera.

Saya selalu terbayang, mungkinkah satu hari nanti, di padang mahsyar, duit-duit syilling yang saya sedeqah seikhlas hati.. akan menyelamatkan saya terutama sekali bila saya sedeqahkan dengan lafaz "Lillaahi Ta'ala". Teringat kata-kata Ustaz pagi tadi.. kita takkan papa kalau bersedeqah.. dan tak salah jika memperuntukkan lebih banyak untuk membeli saham akhirat. Insyaalah.. setiap yang disedeqah ada pulangannya.

Tersentuh saya apabila membaca kata-kata Pengerusi Surau Taman Sutera, Kajang yang menyatakan rasa terharu dengan sokongan dan cuba untuk berterima kasih tetapi sebaliknya mendengar "Saya yang sepatutnya mengucapkan terima kasih kepada surau dan ahli jawatankuasa yang telah menyediakan ruang dan peluang kepada saya untuk menginfa'kan sedikit daripada harta yang ada". Sebak rasa hati ini, walaupun saya tidak melakukan apa-apa buat surau, kerana masih ada yang sudi membantu.

Jadi dengan rasa rendah diri, saya ingin memanjangkan usaha Pengerusi dan Ajk Surau kami, Surau Taman Sutera dan memohon, agar rakan-rakan semua mahupun sesiapa yang tidak dikenali agar sama-sama bergandung, berkongsi apa yang kita mampu.. bagi membina Masjid Taman Sutera, Kajang ini. Semoga Allah merahmatiMu dan membalas setiap kebaikanmu. Amiin.. Jika tidak dari segi sumbangan, kami juga amat berbesar hati, jika berita ini dapat diwar-warkan.. kerana Allah tahu..

Nota :
No akaun bank: 5623 8412 0281 (Akaun Semasa - Maybank)
Nama Akaun : Pembangunan Masjid Taman Sutera

Puasa + Menyusu = Pengsan

2011-08-06T03:47:00.000-07:00

Hari ni puasa memang kronik sikit. Asyik baring dah macam kain buruk. Tempahan cookies langsung tak berusik. Muhammad ni macam tau tau je dia dah nak kena berhenti menyusu raya nanti. Tak habis-habis berkebam. Bila abah dia bawak keluar sekejap, balik lagi dia balas dendam..  Akhirnya hari keenam puasa, akhirnya tewas, beli jugak akhirnya.. Selalu nina akan pastikan makan sekurang-kurangnya 3 biji kurma tapi dah berapa kali tak makan. Bukan apa, nina suka mariamija yang chewy chewy tu tapi dah tak de stok terpaksalah makan yang lembik tu.. Makanya jadila ibu nenen yang lembik huaaaa

Benarkah Kita Menyayanginya

2011-08-01T09:13:00.000-07:00

Sanggupkah kita berputus asa apabila kita tahu seseorang yang kita sayang masih tidak mahu berubah? Sanggupkah kita tinggalkan mereka kerana kita sudahpun habis sedaya upaya untuk melihat perubahan tapi langsung tidak nampak gaya nak berubah. Adakah kita betul-betul kita menyayangi mereka jika kita tinggalkan mereka dengan pemikiran mereka.

Memang biasa kita dengar hadith yang berbunyi "Tidak beriman seseorang kamu sehinggalah ia
mengasihi kebaikan untuk saudaranya sebagaimana ia mengasihi kebaikan untuk dirinya sendiri". Adakah kita betul-betul beriman jika kita sanggup melihat sahaja jika ada kemungkaran di hadapan kita. Mungkinkah kita takut dibenci jika kita berterusan menegur.. sedangkan.. pada hakikatnya.. tegur secara berterusan itulah tanda kasih kita.

Sanggupkah kita mengambil risiko.. orang tidak lagi mahu menegur atau berkawan atau meninggalkan kita seandainya kita teguran kita itu tidak dapat diterima. Sanggupkah kita sekadar menegur di dalam hati kerana itulah selemah-lemah iman atau perlukah kita berterus terang agar mereka tidak terus hanyut.

Ya Allah .. padamu hamba berserah.. Ihdinassirothol mustaqiim.. la haulawala quwwata illa billaa hil 'aliyyul 'adziim..

Last Minute Plan untuk Ramadhan

2011-07-30T21:41:00.000-07:00

Tahun ni tak taulah kenapa memang kelam kabut semacam. Something happened a few days ago.. tu yang jadi lagi kelam kabut.. Nothing happened yang teruk sampai tak boleh manage tapi membuatkan kami agak 'negatif'.. Alih-alih tak perasan dah nak masuk ramadhan.. Anak yang ingatkan sebenarnya.. Selalunya memang kami menunggu-nunggu.. Alhamdulillah.. bila anak sekolah agama.. cikgu-cikgu lebih cepat meyuntik semangat Ramadhan..

Irfan (5 tahun) cakap cikgu akan bagi angpow kalau puasa penuh. Anak-anak yang lain.. sibuk kata balik 2.30 semasa ramadhan jadi.. mereka pun memang gembira.. Sebaik lepas Raya.. anak yang sulung akan menghadapi UPSR. Ternyata strategi tahun ini memang akan berbeza.

Yang paling beza sekali sudah tentunya.. jualan biskut pada tahun ini lain dari tahun2 sebelumnya. Marble Shortbread tak jual tahun ni. Salah satu sebabnya tentulah bab mencuci dan memasang loyang marble. Kami ada sepuluh loyang marble.. Nak pasang dan basuh tu memanglah ambil masa.. Dengan keadaan Muhammad yang akan berhenti menyusu.. sudah tentunya ibu Muhammad akan lebih emosi. Dengan Naufal yang akan ambil periksa.. kerja-kerja renyah yang selalunya kami lakukan sekeluarga sebagai bisnes keluarga terpaksa kami korbankan terus.

Dalam pada itu.. oven sudah down satu dan microwave sudah rosak.. masih belum sempat dibaiki.. jadi.. hal itu memang akan diambil kira. Nak kata pening tu tidaklah.. marble ni sebenarnya costnya lebih mahal dari sampret dan oaty grated.. jadi modal lebih besar.. walaupun margin keuntungan lebih besar.. rasanya bila buat yg lebih murah.. tak jadi masaalah sebab memang boleh jual volume.

Apa-apa pun.. hari ni = hari mencuci dan mengemas rumah bagi menyambut kedatangan Ramadhan.. Sayu hati ni.. sebab.. memang kami sekeluarga lalai.. lupa dan tidak sedar kedatangan Rejab dan Syaaban.. Fidyah puasa sudah pun dilangsaikan semalam.. membuktikan yang nina tak sempat habis ganti puasa.. Nina dah siap pesan pada anak, kalau ibu sudah tiada.. minta tolong gantikan sebab waris yang sepatutnya gantikan.. bukan suami. Tahun ni, nina mengganti puasa nazar, menyusu ni.. memang sentiasa lapar.. patutnya nina lebih kuat semangat..

Selambat Menyambut Ramadhan semua.. Harapnya kita tidak lalai mengejar dunia.. sehingga lupa bonus bonus yang ALlah sediakan .. sepanjang Ramadhan... Ampunkan kami ya Allah.. kami lalai.. Berilah kami hidayah ya Allah. amiin amiin ya robbal 'alamiin..

Islam | Patutlah Senyum itu Satu Sedeqah!

2011-07-23T00:59:00.000-07:00

Hati yang resah mampu terubat dengan satu senyuman.. walaupun senyuman itu dari orang lain. Ramai yang sekadar cakap je senyum itu satu sedeqah.. tapi ramai ke yang sedeqah senyuman?

Selalu kalau pergi beli barang.. geram kalau tengok cashier tu tergedik2 dengan kawan-kawan cashier yang lain tapi bila cakap dengan kita.. terus muka masam macam kita buang masa dia.

Kadang-kadang meluat tengok orang yang bekerja di bahagian info muka masam mencuka.. Kadang-kadang nak sedapkan hati.. nina selalu cakap.. agaknya laki dia marah dia kot pagi tadi tu yang mencuka tu..

Tapi pada hakikatnya.. senyum itu kalau kena pada gayanya akan jadi sedeqah.. Ruginya sapa yang muka masam tu.. Dahlah orang sibuk mengumpat dia.. dia pun runsing juga memikirkan kedut-kedut di muka tu.

Okaylah ya.. sebenarnya tak niat pun nak kutuk orang.. tapi kadang-kadang how i wish people would smile no matter how tired they are. Mungkin itu peringatan untuk diri sendiri.. selalu masam je muka dengan anak-anak bila order tengah tak menang tangan hehe.. Cukup-cukuplah ya.. karang got carried away la pulak ;D

p.s. jangan lupa senyum tawww!!

Alhamdulillah.. Sesungguhnya Kau Maha Mendengar, Ya Allah.

2011-07-22T00:52:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah.. sebenarnya 2 minggu ni risau semacam sebab ada satu masaalah yang rasanya memang tidak dapat dirungkai. Tapi hari ni, alhamdulillah, selesai sudah masaalah tu.. dengan tidak dijangka-jangka.. dengan satu panggilan telefon sahaja.

Nina bersyukur sangat.. sebab walaupun nina tidaklah runsing sampai tak lalu makan, tapi nina perasan bila nina tidur.. nina akan mimpi segala apa yang nina fikirkan.. cerita macam-macam yang berkait dengan apa yang nina fikir pada siangnya. Selalunya.. nina kalau mimpi bukan-bukan tu nina faham la.. sebenarnya ada sesuatu yang merunsingkan walaupun selalu nina tidaklah 'overworry'.

Alhamdulillah.. dan kali ini, bila nina sebut alhamdulillah.. bergetar hati ini tanda syukur dengan nikmat yang Allah berikan apabila masaalah yang dilalui hampir selesai.

Journal | ...

2011-07-19T03:35:00.000-07:00

Entah kenapa hati tak sedap dari semalam.. Rasa sedih pun ada.. rasa sunyi pun ada.. rasa macam tak sedap hati. Mungkinkah remark - remark orang keliling yang tak sedap didengar. Mungkinkah perasaan yang agak sensitif akhir-akhir ini menunjukkan umur yang makin meningkat ataupun hormon yang sentiasa berubah.

Bila difikirkan.. apa yang orang lain fikir memang tak penting. Bukan salah kita orang lain tak boleh tutup mulut. Mungkinkah hati sakit kerana apa yang dikatakan itu ada benarnya. Ataupun kita yang terlalu ego untuk mengakui hakikatnya.

Days come and go.. Night falls and pass.. time flies..
Along the way.. we meet a long of people.. a lot of strangers.. a lot of acquaintance and friends..
As the passes our lives.. they touch and make an impact..
Sometimes positively and sometimes it's so bad that it changes someone's life completely..
I know how powerful those impact can be in our lives..
I just hope that.. if I ever make any.. even if it's a tiny one..
I just pray that it's a positive one..

I just don't want to be responsible for any changes that I caused.. negatively
nor do I want to be responsible for any damage in a person's feelings..
the way people touch mine a few days ago..

I now release the past.. it's time to let go..
I know.. whatever remark that people do.. whatever smirk that's clearly seen on their faces.. I know that it lies in my hand to channel it into a positive energy..
At least I know it will make me a more compassionate and a more careful person thinking of the pain that it caused me.. and for that.. Alhamdulillah.. Ya Allah.. aku redho..

Fuuh! Hectic Hectic Week!

2011-07-17T02:27:00.000-07:00

Dah dua minggu hidup ni kelam kabut giler.. Sejak NinazCakes Syahr El Fundraising berlangsung.. alhamdulillah.. rezeki mencurah-curah. Tak tahulah sebenarnya siapa yang tolong siapa. Syahr El tolong NinazCakes ke NinazCakes tolong Syahr El. Alhamdulillah.. tak sangka.. sebenarnya kami nak sedeqah mengikut skill saja sebab nak bagi cash memang tak ada.

Betul lah orang kata 'What you give, you get back!' You get back more than you give actually. Sebenarnya.. kami tetapkan sehingga 15 Julai untuk mempercepatkan kutipan wang untuk diberikan untuk Syahr El. Cabaran kali ni boleh tahan la..

1) Tak taulah siapa yang tertumpahkan air dalam oven. Sampai sekarang ni tak berani nak on. Jadi kami bakar pakai 1 oven sahaja. Alhamdulillah.. yang okay oven besar.

2) Ada satu hari tu .. delivery pukul 1 dah settle.. sebabkan ada sorang tu janji pukul 3, kami legar-legar lah.. alih2 terpaksa cancel sebab kereta dia rosak.. isy isy isy.. nak buat camne kan..

3) Air con rosak.. kena baiki RM300 terbang camtu je.. Alhamdulillah.. tak payah tukar the whole compressor.. hehe kalau tak terbang RM500++

4) Ada yang book.. bila reserve.. call tak dapat.. buzz tak jawab.. (lain kali kena mintak payment dulu hehehehe.. siap ada clause : non refundable hehehe) Alhamdulillah ada orang lain yang beli hehehe

5) Masa aircon rosak tu la, tertinggal ice box.. selalu letak dalam icebox. kek tu tak lah cair.. Alhamdulillah.. hari tu delivery semua cepat.. cuma satu je yang cair hehe

4) Disebabkan kami bagi free delivery.. kami groupkan order mengikut kawasan.. Jadi.. masa penghantaran tu memang unpredictable. Alhamdulillah.. pembeli Syahr El's Box of Love begitu memahami.. Next time kami tau lah.. nak limitkan route mana ;D

Okay.. minggu depan yang akan datang ni, nina nak sort gambar pulak.. Gambar punyalah banyak dalam CPU.. yelah .. kita bukan pro kan.. satu gambar kena 2-3 kali shoot. Itu pun ada yang silau la.. yang malap la.. nak adjust pun nina pakai PICASA je. Nantilah.. nina nak share kelebihan Picasa ni! Bagi yang takde basic.. PICASA ni memang excellent! Agar sukar untuk get used to it tapi once you get it, insyaallah senang dan mudah! Yang penting, senang nak trace balik mana gambar yang dah di download.

Okaylah ya.. taknak tulis panjang-panjang.. sebab ni kira warm up dulu sebab dah lama giler tak menulis di blog ni.. Hati tu nak menulis.. tapi kalau dah baking the whole week tu penat la jugak.

I LOVE BLOGHOPPING!

2011-06-12T02:06:00.000-07:00

Hari ni.. sambil-sambil ber'facebook', bila nampak gambar kek cantik tu, mulalah klik sana klik sini.. Wah rupa-rupanya ramai orang yang menjual kek dari rumah macam nina.. Makin lama tengok makin cantik design.. Dah la cantik.. bermacam-macam variety kek dan kuih-muih.. Terasa kecik sungguh diri ini hahha..

Silap-silap hari bulan boleh lemah semangat tengok produk orang yang jauh lebih hebat dengan teknik fotografi yang 'first class'. Nina ni kadang-kadang ambil dengan kamera je.. tu yang silau sana silau sini!

Tapi tak boleh patah semangat tau!! Sebenarnya.. bila tengok orang punya.. kita mesti mengobarkan semangat kita! Yelah.. nak meniaga bukan senang tau! Kadang-kadang kita rasa dah cantik.. rupanya ada yang nak lagi cantik.. Kita belum pandai buat, customer dah order dulu.

Lepas tu.. kalau takat produk cantik pun tak jadi tau! Mesti kena ada rupa jugak.. Nina perasan, sesetengah orang tu tak kisah pun bayar lebih.. janji cantik dipandang dan sedap dimakan untuk dihadiahkan untuk orang yang tersayang.

Alhamdulillah.. Allah berikan kekuatan untuk bertahan dan dikurniakan anak-anak yang paling suka kalau nina masak! Apatah lagi sokongan padu sang suami yang tak putus-putus memberi support! Bisnes partner la katakan.. :D Okaylah ya! It's the last day of school holiday.. tengah pikir-pikir.. nak potong rambut budak2 ni ke tidak.. Chow dulu ya!!!

Memories | Sometimes to Forget is a Blessing.

2011-06-10T04:40:00.000-07:00

Lately.. I have been occupied by my school friends in our School Group @ Facebook and no matter how hard I try, I have very little memories of school.. and I mean very very little memories. I wonder if it's because of the aging factor.. or the sleeping in the afternoon while nursing my babies that caused that. After thinking for a while.. I have to conclude that it's a blessing.

I hated school. Being in the group, though entertaining most of the time.. also comes with sad memories. I'm just lucky though.. I'm blessed with the ability to forget all those bad memories. I really don't have to try any harder to remember because I really want to forget those memories.
Sometimes I wonder if things would have been different if I was in a different school or went to that school willingly. Or would it be different in a bad way if I choose to cling to the bad memories.

Earlier last year.. I found classmates from my primary school.. Though I remember bits and pieces of the memories.. I forgot most of it. I can only remember the ones I decided to remember.. those sweet memories but mostly.. I'd say it's gone.

Alhamdulillah.. the brain is a powerful organ indeed. Though it can remember many many things, I believe that it's even more powerful if we can forget.. so that we can move on.. I had to erase a lot in order to move on.. Though I can't remember (because I refuse to even try to remember) there are times when there is still a piercing pain in my heart that 'can' bring tears in my eyes and I stopped thinking completely about it.

I'm glad that I decided to move on.. and forget and forgive whoever and whatever things in life that seemed to bother me.. because no matter what... Life Goes on!

2011-06-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

Well, looking at the picture above, it definitely shows that we have been avoiding the shop lately.. The day after the picture was taken, I took out a really frozen whole chicken from the freezer which was planned to be cooked 2 weeks ago when my mother in law came. It was procrastinated until this afternoon.

This afternoon, while waiting for the chicken to defrost, I had to fry out filo pastry sheets, rolled and cut and fried with chillies because we were too hungry. I woke up late this morning so we had a very late breakfast. Then it was a very late lunch or err.. should i call it early dinner. Tonite, my son made 'teh tarik' because he wanted to eat biscuit (still hungry?). In the washing machine, hidden my laundry which is going to be hung by my kids tomorrow. By now, you are free to judge me.. whatever judgement you may think reasonable.

I've heard before complaints about other wives who have been labelled 'lazy' because they chose to buy dinner outside or choose to let the maid do the cooking. Also heard poor mommies labelled as bad mommies because their kids lack discipline. Sometimes, kids easily labelled as nuisance simply because they talk loud or at least louder that the rest.

I'm not saying that I don't judge.. I do judge sometimes.. but then, most of the time, when I heard other people judging others.. I do wonder whether they even think of what people judge them. Or do they not care what people think of them as long as they don't hear themselves the judgment.

What I'm saying is that.. before judging people.. perhaps we should take a moment judging ourselves or consider what people judge us. Because whatever we see is only one side of the world.. Maybe we might want to wear his or her shoes for a couple of hours or try to see the whole picture before making any conclusions. Or.. perhaps.. just judge for the better judgement :D

Note : This is a reminder for myself..

Huhuhuuu Tak Tidur Lagi!

2011-05-15T11:22:00.001-07:00

Sebenarnya tak komplen pun.. tapi rumah ni dah berpusing dah ni.. kek tak siap deco lagi.. Mata memang mengantuk tahap gaban ni huhuhuuu..

Ni lah penangan hari guru! Nina bersyukur sangat.. Doa siapalah agaknya.. rezeki bertambah melimpah ruah.. Alhamdulillah.. Nina mengantuk tapi nak tidur takut terlajak, nak deco terus takut kek hancus! Yelah.. kalau dah mengantuk dipaksa-paksa tu mulalah weng skit! Entah kenapa.. kek yang nak jamu kawan-kawan agak comot. Siapalah yang letak cheese kat tingkat atas sekali.. habis berbiji-biji cheese dia!

Takpelah kawan-kawan ya.. janji hati ikhlas nak bagi kawan-kawan rasa. Nanti, kalau ada rezeki, nina tambah oven lagi satu ya! Senang sikit nak bakar kek. Ini terpaksa tolak order..

Okaylah ya.. nina baru nak sembahyang isyak! Yelah.. ambil peluang berehat. Lega skit kalau rukuk dan sujud tu.. betul-betulkan postur badan.. Allah maha mengetahui.. sudah tentunya solat itu direka khas sesuai dengan badan kita! Nanti, insyaallah nina tulis lagi yaaa!~!! muah!

Oh ya! Selamat Hari Guru semua!!!

M Besar M kecik.. M untuk M.A.L.A.S!

2011-05-12T09:01:00.000-07:00

Entah kenapa.. malas betul nak buat apa-apa pun. Mungkin sebab setengah hari duduk dalam kereta saja. Mula-mula delivery ke Setapak, lepas tu ke Bake with Yen yang tertangguh berbulan-bulan, akhir sekali ke CKE Cheras sebab ambil oven yang tersimbah air. Patutnya bila dah dapat balik oven tu mestilah berkobar-kobar semangat nak membakar tapi tak pulak.

Sebenarnya nina ambil cuti 3 hari, dah tak larat nak membakar, ingatkan nak kira stok dan kemas balik apa yang dah lintang-pukang ni. Tapi tu lah dianya.. 3 hari pergi mengurut pagi.. dah kepenatan. Well, I deserve all the rest in the world.

Satu pesennya nina ni pulak.. bila dah "mind set" tu ada a list of things to do.. Mesti nak ikut aturan tu jugak. Tu yang jadi tertangguh-tangguh tu.. Bila satu terbengkalai.. selagi tak siap yang tu, memang la malas nak buat apa pun.

Sebenarnya panjang list kerja ni:

1) Buat costing n kira stok untuk big delivery next week
2) Cukupkan barang-barang yang tak cukup tu
3) Timbang siap2 ikut bancuhan bila hari kejadian tak la terkial-kial
4) Siapkan ganache untuk esok
5) siapkan lagi cupcake sebab tadi dah salah kira, tak cukup lagi 65 bijik!
6) siapkan kek pisang yang dah kena skodeng pisang sebijik..
7) hias cupcake medium yang tak boleh nak buat lagi sebab ganache tak buat lagi dan ambil masa sebab nak tunggu set dulu
8) buat roti bakar sebab tengah lapar walaupun dah tengah malam..

okeylah ya! good luck untuk diri sendiri.. hah! tunggu apa lagi perempuan! karang tak tidur mak jugak yang susah!!! Mata dah ngantuk.. buang je list tu jauh2, pastu buat ganache dan tidur!! aci? aci la.. sebab yang susah diri sendiri nanti huhuhuuuuuuu

Giveaway zalinzalina.blogspot.com!!!

2011-05-11T01:46:00.000-07:00

Haaa!! Jangan salah sangka tau! Nina masih lagi jual kek tapi nina masuk giveaway "Saya Suka Kuih" ni di blog kawan nina, si tokeh kuih! Best tau blog zalin ni!!! Macam-macam short cut nak buat kuih ada. Nak buat berniaga pun best! Nak belajar teknik untuk makan sendiri pun best!

Nina nak jawab soalan Zalin! Kenapa Nina Suka Kuih!

Jawapannya:-

Kuih seri ayu
Si cantik manis
Suka la kuih you!
Sure tak boleh miss!!

hahahaha.. acah jer.. sebenarnya nina suka makan kuih terutama sekali kuih tradisional sebab ringkas.. sambil buat kerja pun boleh ngap-ngap! Lagipun.. bila makan pedas-pedas tu, hilanglah pedas skit kalau ada kuih! Tapi nina pun suka jugak kuih pedas-pedas macam cucur badak, popiah basah! Rasa tak meriah tanpa diserikan dengan kuih kan kan kan!!

Okay ya korang! Marilah join giveaway ni.. rugi tau tak masuk!

Hisy! Nak Bawak Kereta tu, Bawak la Betul-betul!

2011-05-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

Dah beberapa hari mengikut Azly buat delivery, jadi tension! Selalu tinggal kat rumah, ingat nak ambil angin tapi lagi stress atas jalan. Yang potong kiri, potong kiri! Ramai bawak kereta cara selamat tapi tak kurang yang bawak macam gila!

Antara aksi-aksi menyakitkan hati sepanjang delivery ni:-

1) Lori besar buat U-turn sambil pegang handphone

2) Treller buat U-turn tempat sempiiiitt.. Semua terpaksa brek mengejut

3) Kereta hitam mendajalkan lagi satu kereta hitam, dua-dua kereta kilat, dua-dua bodoh
Yang kereta belakang tu 4 kali cuba nak tukar lane, tapi yang depan tu cepat-cepat ikut taknak bagi poting just before tol.. lepas tol, kereta depan tu bagi jalan, memang silap la kereta belakang tu pi potong, kena himpit saujana mata memandang.

4) Polis pakai handphone semasa memandu. Mungkin boleh kot ek.. sebab tengah slow.

5) Naik motor sambil korek-korek poket, cari handphone, selit kat helmet?????!!!??

6) Yang motor langgar lampu merah tu tak payah nak cakap la.. mengong!

7) Dari lane kiri.. cepat-cepat tukar lane tengah, lepas tu gedek gedek gedek!! Tunggulah betul-betul clear kalau nak slow!

8) Kereta 'Queue jump' baik punya nak masuk simpang 'v' ke kiri, queue pulak tu panjang gilaaaa, kita nak elak dia, ada motor kat belah kanan kereta, terpaksa brake mengejut! saspen gila takut orang hentam belakang!

9) Ada orang nak lintas jalan, kereta belakang himpit.. janganla orang tu melintas..

10) Satu malam tu, ada orang melintas lenggang lenggok.. nasib baiklaaa seluar dia putih..

The end!

Toxic People | What if You are the Topic Person?

2011-05-04T13:16:00.000-07:00

I can't remember who told me but then that person said, if you want to be successful, you have to eliminate all those toxic people. When I re-started my cake business, I came out with a list of positive friends who have been supporting me and if you ever wonder, I quit baking before because of one single toxic person whom I could not deal with. It was easier to quit what I was doing than dealing with that person. I gave 1 million reasons to my friends about why I quit! Of course another reason that really put me down was when the price started to increase due to the escalating price of petrol. I just couldn't survive anymore and it took bigger capital to do business and I just didn't know how to tell my friends about me trying to increase the price. This was 4 years ago when my NinazCakes Blog was not up yet, neither does the NinazCakes FB Fanpage.

This time around, I know I have to be serious about baking because it is no longer the side income! It's indeed the main income now. Well, both of my husband and I thought that it would be easier with the flexi working hours at home while attending to our 5 kids. Back to toxic people.. somehow it just blurted in my head, WHAT IF I AM THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN INTOXICATING MYSELF AND PEOPLE AROUND ME? I guess partly the answer is yes. I guess whatever happened before when I decided to quit baking changed me. It made me annoyed, defensive and provocative at times when dealing with the very same character customer with the one who caused me to quit!

Now that I know, Alhamdulillah, I'm okay and I really hope to be more positive! tu la.. lain kali jangan lari dari masaalah hehe!

What a Day! What a Gloomy Day!

2011-05-02T02:51:00.000-07:00

Entah kenapa hari ni macam tak bersemangat saja. Rumah lintang pukang. Hati gundah gulana. Rasa malas nak buat apa pun. Malam tadi update gambar-gambar, tidur pukul 3 pagi. Bangun macam biasa dan sempat bakar kek untuk order petang tadi. Kalau kek barbie tu berlemuih la meja dengan buttercream.

Pagi tadi dapat panggilan dari kakak, pakcik collapse dan masuk ICU. Mungkin sebab itu ke? Petang tadi call balik, alhamdulillah dah masuk ke wad biasa dan okay. Tolong doakan ya kawan-kawan agar dia kembali sembuh. Tak payah komen doa pun takpe sebab doa seorang sahabat tanpa pengetahuan sahabatnya lebih makbul. Nina pun baru diingatkan oleh seseorang tentang itu. Jadi kalau nina tak komen apa-apa bila ada kematian atau kemalangan, cukuplah hanya Allah yang tahu. ;)

Mungkinkah sebab beberapa hari yang lepas, nina masak marble cheese dan terlupa dalam loyang ada air, nina tutup pintu oven dan tersimbah penuh air ke oven. Tak berani nak 'switch on' balik oven. Tunggu nina call CKE dulu. Risau juga sebab itu lah mata pencarian nina. Kalau rosak, manalah nina nak dapat ganti. Harap-harap semua okay. Alhamdulillah, oven lagi satu tu masih bernyawa. Ingat-ingatkan balik, mungkin Allah nak berikan ilmu baru. Dek oven tu tak berani nak pasang, nina berani la bakar chocolate grated cookies tu masuk dua loyang. Tambah masa sikit dan kalehkan yang atas ke bawah dan vice versa bila dah separuh masa. Alhamdulillah.

Okaylah ya.. nanti nina tulis lagi ya! Thanks for reading! you guys make me wanting to write more! TTFN!

Macam Mana Nak Create Button

2011-05-01T10:48:00.001-07:00

Assalamualaikum semua! Nina baru je add button NinazCakes kat tepi kanan atas blog. Senang kalau kawan-kawan nak letak logo NinazCakes kat Blog depa!

Kalau ada button tu senang sikit! Lebih "catchy". Senang nak copy. Tak ambil space sangat! Nina tulis nota kat sini sebagai peringatan untuk diri sendiri macam mana nak buat button tu! Kalau nak buat macam ni ya!

1) Cari gambar yang sesuai untuk dijadikan button.. Nina pakai logo NinazCakes dari Business Card je. Scan, edit pakai word document, tambah apa yang patut. Kalau pakai Picasa senang sikit. Download Picasa (klik kanan, open in new tab ya! karang hilang pulak blog nina ni hehe), cari gambar apa yang sesuai, make sure je Picasa tu dah terbukak, lepas tu print screen. Carik kat "Screen Captures", crop apa yang patut, save! Yelah.. kalau dah takde background IT tu mulalah buat ikut suka hati!

2) Upload kat Photobucket. Boleh register dulu! Free Saja. Bukan apa, bila dah upload tu boleh la dapatkan code HTML dia. Kalau dari komputer kita memang tak boleh la nak dapatkan code tu :D

3) Nina dapatkan cara-cara nak buat button ni kat sini.. jadi boleh copy dan ikut arahan kat sana. Mana aci ciplak letak kat sini kan! Ini nina ambil dari sana.. lagi faham step by step dia.

4) Pergi ke "Design" kat blog kita dan "Add a Gadget" lepas tu pilih "HTML/Javascript". Lepas tu Copy yang bawah ni, dan betulkan web address, blog title. Ini yang perlu di"copy". Tapi ini image je.. kena pergi link dia dan copy sendiri tawww!

tapi kena copy betul-betul!!! kena isikan web address betul-betul! Nina punya image alih-alih ada pulak tanda /"> kat tepi gambar tu.. jenuh nina terpaksa delete satu-satu nak trouble shoot mana yang silap huhuhuuuu. Pastikan yang berwarna-warni tu je ada tokok tambah. Yang lain tu tak boleh kacau langsung! Lain la kalau dah terrer merrer kan!!!

5) Pergi ke Photobucket balik, pergi ke image yang nak dibuat button tu.. pastikan kalau boleh resize ke 100 je. Kalau besar sangat.. siapa nak tempek button kita :D Click kat "HTML Code", dia akan flash "copied".

6) Pergi balik ke blogger kita balik, dan pastekan "HTML Code" imej tu ke ruangan "http://IMAGE WEB ADDRESS". Save dan voila!!! dah siap pun!!!

Kalau nak grab button Ninazcakes.. "Add a Gadget", pilih "HTML/Javascript", click je kotak kecik bawah icon ninazcakes tu .. paste kat kotak HTML/Javascript korang tu! Thanks in Advance tauuu!!!

Buat Isteri-isteri yang Simple Seperti Saya!!!

2011-04-27T20:08:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but when i hear this song.. I know this is exactly what my husband feels.. if only i have the for-male version of this song! Thanks for accepting me the way i am!

and I would like to dedicate this song on behalf of all the husbands who find their wives everything even when they feel like they are nothing! Enjoy! Jangan malu-malu ya isteri-isteri.. you know if your husband is like him! :D

Syukur | Harus Disemai dan Dibaja

2011-04-26T09:53:00.000-07:00

Pernah juga terdengar rungutan ibu-ibu tentang anak-anak yang tak mahu menjamah makanan yang dimasaknya. Hmm.. sakit hati bila dengar. Sebenarnya Nina ni antara yang bertuah.. sebab masa Nina mula-mula bernikah dulu, memang tak pandai masak langsung. Teringat masa tingkatan 4, mak dan abah pergi haji, nina goreng ikan sampai dah tak rupa ikan. Tension sebab masa tu sepupu temankan di rumah. Takkan nak tunggu depa balik kerja dan tunggu depa masak pulak. Tapi alhamdulillah.. nina bertuah dianugerahkan seorang suami yang menghargai masakan nina walaupun sekadar kicap dan telur mata kerbau.

Yang paling bestnya.. bila suami tak komplen, anak-anak tak berani la nak komplen. Kadang-kadang malu sendiri, macam hari ni, tak sempat nak masak.. memang kami dinner 'scrambled egg' dan roti mayonaise dan sos! Anak-anak memuji-muji sedaplah.. "terima kasih sebab masak sedap sangat!! Ibu memang pandai masak!" Nina pun cakap, "Alhamdulillah.. ibu bersyukur sangat sebab dapat anak-anak yang bersyukur dengan makanan yang ada walalupun makanan tu simple!"

Sebenarnya syukur itu perlu dilatih! Alhamdulillah itu harus dipraktikkan.. Bila dipuji, mesti 'demand' anak cakap Alhamdulillah.. kerana yang cantik itu ciptaan.. yang hebat itu penciptanya.. Bila nina bandingkan dengan lukisan.. Marah tak kalau orang puji-puji lukisan tu tapi buat tak tau je pada korang yang melukis.. Terdiam semua!

Syukur itu satu nikmat. Makanan itu satu nikmat apabila kita bersyukur! Jika anak-anak merungut makanan tak sedap, ibu bapa bertanggungjawab untuk betulkan. Jika pakaian mereka bukan baru dan "handed down" maka ibu bapa mesti ingatkan mereka. Sebagai ibu bapa pula, seharusnya kita juga bersyukur dengan makanan yang ada.. Habiskan makanan dan ajar anak-anak menghargainya. Mana mungkin anak itu akan bersyukur jika ibu bapa sendiri membuang makanannya. Ingatkan mereka bahawa Rasulullah tidak akan berkata apa-apa tentang makanan yang tak sedap. Siapalah kita berbanding dengan Rasul yang maksum.

Naufal, anak sulung nina pernah bercerita.. dalam satu majlis, rasulullah menghabiskan makanan tanpa meninggalkan sedikit pun untuk sahabat-sahabatnya. Bila ditanya.. baginda menjawab tidak sedap jadi baginda menghabiskannya.. (biar orang tak rasa dan tak komplen!).

Jadi kawan-kawan semua! Didik tau anak supaya bersyukur dengan apa yang ada.. Jangan asyik nampak apa yang tak ada dan merungut apa yang memang telah Allah kurniakan di depan mata! Ingatkan anak-anak tentang nikmat deria! Tapi sebelum tu.. kena latih diri sendiri tau! Alhamdulillah.. Allah berikan aku peluang untuk hidup sehari lagi!

Class Went Disastrous!

2011-04-20T09:27:00.000-07:00

I totally forgotten about the Writing Workshop until my husband reminded 2 days ago. Honestly, it was a bit frustrating for me. The projector couldn't detect my aging laptop and I should have mailed the 'guru media' straight so that he could prepare everything. I forgot to bring my marker, lucky the students lent me theirs.

Well, normally I had back up activities but this time, the back up activity didn't go well either. I have to admit, I could have just ignored the fact that my slides were out in the drain, and I could have used my other activities but I guess, I was just too annoyed that everything went blank.
Things got worse especially when the noises get louder and you just couldn't hear anything they answer and the rest of the students got noisier.

For once in my teaching career, 1 and a half hour was way longer and I couldn't wait for the class to end. I admit defeat that this was the very first time class were out of my control and the most embarrassing part was .. they were not even half the crowd that I handled before. I was frustrated, angry and at one point felt hopeless.

One thing about me that has never changed is the fact that I just cannot teach if I can hear a single whisper.. and I really can hear a single whisper. Sometimes I wonder if it's a gift or a hindrance from teaching. This time, it was an air-conditioned room but the problem when it's fully tiled and has empty wall.. voices seem to be louder that it's really sounds (which made me annoyed even more).

I really pity those who really intend to study and try really hard to focus due to the noise. I pity those who couldn't follow the teaching and the activities because there is a clash between our study styles. The person whom I pity most is definitely the teacher who had to endure the babbling about their future (if this kind of attitude keeps on going on). I think I was a bit harsh when I spoke to them about their attitude. I wanted to convince them badly that 3 months is still enough if they ever intend to get 5As in their UPSR.

Am I going to give up on them, NO! Don't worry guys! Teacher Nina will be back! Not that soon.. but as soon as I know what would be the perfect activity for you.. I'll be popping near you!!! :D In the mean time.. just wish me luck!

Coretan Ibu..

2011-04-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

Entah kenapa, masa anak-anak peluk nina sebelum tidur tadi, hati memang jadi sebak. Lagi-lagi bila anak perempuan nina peluk. Teringat masa dia kecil, memang nina kurang bercakap dengan dia. Bila tukar lampin pun senyap saja, asyik bercakap dengan yang sulung. Bila umur dia 4-5 tahun, baru nina perasan yang kami kurang bercakap.

Yelah.. masa dia lahir, yang sulung tengah ramah bercakap, umur 2 tahun.. Dah lama-lama tu baru la perasan yang nina memang jarang bercakap dengan yang nombor dua dari dalam perut lagi.

Alhamdulillah.. bila dah terperasan ada gap, kami cepat-cepat 'fix that problem'. Memang kekok sebab anak perempuan ni lain sikit, 'meleser' memanjang.. jalan nak pegang tangan. Pastu kena 'giggle-gigle', kena geletek-geletek. Anak sulung tak gitu, bila dengan yang kedua ni memang lain sikit.

Macam mana kami boleh perasan yang kami kurang bercakap.. Nina sedar yang kami lebih suka berutus surat (betulll.. kami ada buku special.. saling tulis surat.. tapi taklah hari-hari).. Anak yang sulung pun ada jugak menyebut.. "jeles tu.. nurul ada buku surat dengan ibu".. tapi nina bagitau dia, "naufal kan selalu teman ibu masak" :D

Dah jadi ibu ni.. terasa macam celebrity pun ada.. bila makan orang ni merajuk nak duduk sebelah.. yang lagi sorang merajuk, nak tidur dengan ibu.. yang lain merajuk sebab asyik orang ni yang temankan masak. Yang tak larat tu bila semua nak masuk kendong.. suruh dukung la.. nak naik atas kaki ala-ala superman la.

Siapa kata menjadi ibu ni senang? Sekarang ni.. bila nak bahagi-bahagikan perhatian pada kelima-lima anak pun pening jugak sebab lain anak, lain kerenahnya.. lain jantina lain ragamnya. Am not complaining.. alhamdulillah dengan anugerah Allah.. cuma takut dengan amanah yang Allah beri.. Semoga nina dapat menjadi ibu yang terbaik buat anak-anak.. amiin..

Polygamy|Never against the System!

2011-04-13T03:37:00.000-07:00

I remember a non muslim student asking me years ago about why Islam made Polygamy legal. I laughed and didn't startle the slightest bit. Well, it's different from my alter ego; the feminist! I smiled and gave him one example and he accepted it.

My example was this..

Imagine if a guy's wife is in a deep coma and this has been going on for 10 years and he is terribly lonely.. Should he divorced the wife in search of a new one? [Err..].. Say .. polygamy is not allowed and he divorced his wife because he believed that she has no hope. So, he remarried to a brand new wife to ease his loneliness.. Then suddenly.. the hospital calls him with a miracle.. the ex-wife has woken up. [erkk...]. Should he divorce his newly wed wife to be with his ex-wife.

My student didn't say and I know it made sense. Though I never really encourage , neither do I offer my husband to marry another one, I'm never against the system because there must be a good reason Allah grants permission to men to marry more than 1.

Though men chuckles whenever the word is mentioned and women quickly become snappy and menopausal (in terms of mood swing and hormonal changes), only some are daring enough for the responsibilities are greater and the tests are way more than being monogamist. And women are not very keen because they know.. they are not very fond of sharing when it comes to men.

A friend of mine did warn me.. about leaving 5 percent of the chances. Well, she said.. in case it happens, it's not that bad because you have already anticipated it. (Been trying and still trying). We never really know what will happen in the future. Though I didn't admit it.. I leave it in the hand of Allah.. and pray for my strength if it ever happens.. Having said that "Abang, jangan nak macam2 ya!!!"

Help! My Biological Clock Needs Adjustments!!!

2011-04-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

It all started when I had a big order for the whole week. Having a nursing toddler requires patience and lots of sacrifices.. One of it is definitely time. I remember that week, I had to wake up 3 a.m in the morning to cater to the order.. But of course I'll sleep early at 10 or 11 p.m.

Normally, I'll start baking at 3-4 a.m. and continue straight till morning. Then, I'll snug with Muhammad during the day. Then I realized when the hectic week was over, I can't seem to sleep properly. With Muhammad being sooo playful during the day, cheeky especially when he knows I'm in the midst of doing something, I realized that I enjoy browsing the net the minute he is asleep causing my body clock to go haywire. I would sleep at 3 o'clock without realizing it was really late.

Now, this is the second week after the hectic week and it's getting worse. Looking at the clock now, it's almost 2 a.m. I'm really sleepy and yet.. I'm quite reluctant to let go of my computer. What I know is.. Muhammad will wake up at 3 a.m for his feeding, then at 5 a.m and the next thing would be me waking up at 6.30 a.m.

I have to admit.. nursing is really not an easy thing to do. But I'm just lucky to be working at home that and I can enjoy both at the same time. Honestly.. it is not that tiring when you enjoy it. The look on his face when he is nursing is priceless. The fact that he will always bug me makes my day (though sometimes when the cake order is at the peak.. it can be stressful ;D but I use it as an excuse to take a break and lay down hehe)

Hopefully I can readjust my sleeping time back to normal.. Maybe I should set the clock earlier and sleep earlier. That means.. Good nite for now!

Once a Week Konon!

2011-04-11T03:30:00.000-07:00

Okay okay.. i have a confession to make. I was planning to update my blog at least once a week.. but then, things have been haywire lately that i have been postponing. One thing for sure, whenever i'm at the computer, muhammad will definitely squeeze trough my arm to get to the *tuut*. I was a bit annoyed at the beginning but then then later, I just though that he is such a patient boy! Normally, when i'm baking, he'll just wait and wait and wait (there are times when the baking is a bit too long, he would come, hold my hand and pull while saying.. nak t****k.. ).

So, I figure, he thinks that the moment i'm in front of the computer, it's definitely my free time. 10 years from now.. or when i'm holding my grandchildren.. i'll just treasure this moment. :D 5 months more to go.. and i'm anxious already about that moment when i just have to stop breastfeeding.

Muhammad, ibu loves you..

Nak buat Camne kalau dah Dapat Bini Malas!!

2011-04-04T10:49:00.000-07:00

Penat tak habis lagi.. seminggu ni 'hectic' sangat! Alhamdulillah tempahan minggu ni berakhir dengan delivery ke Pandan, Kelana Jaya, Selayang dan Wangsa Maju. Jam giler tak tahu cakap la berapa banyak 100+ tonggang dalam kereta. Beli yang besar tu, sambung straw dua minum ramai-ramai. Kami jarang keluar.. jadi bila get stuck in the jam tu.. otak pun macam nak jam hehe

Jadi hari ni memang hari rest nina. Apa taknya.. menunggukan si Muhammad tu habis menyusu la.. kena bangun pukul 3 pagi baru line clear.. kalau selalu siang boleh cover.. lately Muhammad is just sooo playful.. bila dia tengok je mata kita pejam.. buat-buat merajuk! huh! Kau belum tengok ibu kau buat perangai!!

Alkisah bini malas.. nina lah tu! Petang tadi, sempat tolong sikit je Azly cuci loyang tapi takleh tahan dok jeling-jeling rumah sebelah sebab tak tengok lagi baby newborn dia. "Pergi kejap la bang, takleh tahan la.. nak gi tengok baby", balik dari tgk baby ada la tinggal dalam 8 tray dan 12 loyang tak cuci lagi... buat-buat tolong la.. hehe

Masuk je rumah.. terus layan facebook.. dah seminggu intai-intai je wall azly tu dengar laporan (kami punya mutual friends tu mmg ramai la kannn). Azly amik la pulak mop.. mop la saki baki coklat and butter kat lantai tu..

Kalau la orang tengok.. laki dia cuci loyang, dia pi bersembang kat rumah jiran, laki mop lantai, dia layan facebook... laki dia dok kejut anak.. bini tengah kroh kroh lagi.. laki sidai kain kat luar.. bini dok tengok tv kat dalam (sambil menyusu hokay.. pastu maleh nak pakai jubah tudung bagai nak keluar rumah). Mesti orang cakap bini malas kan? Pernah dengar interview sorang kakak ni kat TV9.. "eh saya tak pernah suruh suami .. semua saya sediakan. Kesian la kat dia.." Huhuhuu.. malang la nasib laki aku nih!

Sebelum orang sound kita.. kita sound la diri sendiri.. "Macam mana ni bang.. tadi cuci loyang, na gi rumah kak yana, sekarang ni na layan facebook.. abang mop lantai la pulak!".. Lalu berkatalah sang suami.. "Yang na buat cake tu, abang buat apa? tidur!". Err.. betul jugak la kan..

Anyway.. sebenarnya.. (my personal view).. there's no manual on how to judge a good wife! Kalau tengok gaya nina yang pergi bersembang bila kerja rumah tak siap tu mmg la wife low class.. tapi i guess i'm just lucky! my husband tends to look at the other side of me.. My strengths! Something that only he knows.. Tapi pernah jugak nina berseloroh.. Nina ingat lagi nina share dengan geng bas sekolah.. "Abang kalau dah tak tahan rumah semak bagitau la ya.. tak mo la kena tinggal sebab tension rumah semak" hahahaha.. tapi ada yang jadi.. huhuhuuuu takut!

Popiah! Popiah!!

2011-04-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

Orang lain sibuk belajar Macaron, kita sibuk pulak belajar popiah! Sebenarnya memang lama dah teringin nak belajar buat popiah basah! Bukan apa, popiah ni memang favourite food keluarga kami terutama sekali ayahanda Arif! Bulan ini sebenarnya sengaja nina ambil kelas untuk 'take a break' dan nak release tension. Kalau orang lain pergi Spa untuk massage, for me, nothing is more therapeutic than a good baking class session. Best tau kelas ni.. sakit perut sebab asyik gelak je. Dapat pulak yang datang tu memang gila-gila, satu kaki je dengan Kak Pau! Yang bestnya, siap hands-on buat kulit! Silap la tak ambil gambar bloopers! Ada yang berlubang-lubang, bentuk anak bulan, bujur, tebal sampai terkoyak! Kalau nak belajar pergi kat laman web Citra Klasik ya! Banyak lagi kelas lain! Insyaallah.. bila nina ada budget lagi, nina nak pergi lagi! Dah lama teringin nak belajar buat frozen.. senang nak makan petang!

Tengok sifu siap posing lagi dengan popiah!

Close up skit! boleh tahan ke??? Balik berebut-rebut anak-anak nina makan!

Geng kali ni.. Kak Syarifah (mimi), kak azizah (azipopiah), Kiptiah (dekat saja dr Sg. Jelok), Nieyta (all the way from Nilai), Sharifah Hamidah (comfirm sangkut jem on the way ke kl sebab lambat habis hehe), me (taukeh ninazcakes), Lilies (taukeh kiosk in the making) dan Kak Minah (juara angkat popiah! Hehe). Thanks guys! I really had fun! Walaupun tak kenal sesiapa pun mula-mula tu tapi korang memang rock! Err.. tiada di dalam gambar : Kak Pau (sebab tolong ambil gambar kikikik)! Rasanya betul dah nama2 ni.. takut tersilap label la pulak.. Kalau silap tolong ingatkan aku ya!!!

ps.. boleh tempah edible image yeehaaa!!

Giving up?

2011-03-21T10:27:00.000-07:00

There was a time not long ago when I realised that it was easier to give up than to face the problem that was bothering me. I was frustrated, angry and most of the time avoid even thinking about it until I decided to give it a last shot before really giving up.

It was one of the worst moment when the people whom you thought you could count on were not there. Actually, I do have a list of people who I know I can always turn to if I ever needed help. It's not really a real list but just a mental list that I find comfort whenever I'm stuck somewhere. I guess, knowing that you have someone there gives me strength. I think that time (when I was about to give up) was a time that I felt completely lost. My dreams at night were the same repeated dreams over and over again. It was that time when I thought I was better awake when I sleep and yet I was better sleeping when I was awake. I wanted to give up so bad but I just couldn't.

I started praying istikharah.. I started seeking for help mentally (it was just like a rehearsal in my mind) but never blurted it out. It was just so comforting to do that. One day, out of a blue, a friend called me and brought us to see her friend. That friend took us to another friend. Of course it was never planned that way but somehow I met someone who offered us help; the most precious consultation and inside stories of the things that we have been searching for to be our inspiration. There were times when we were driving, we just made one impulsive decision to go somewhere and most of the time became an opportunity to meet really wonderful inspiring people who were more than happy to offer us strength and help. Alhamdulillah..

Sometimes, without intention, we accidentally blurted something that was supposed to be our secret but ended up having all sorts of support from friends who are not really close friends who became closer because of their faith in us and the courage that they give us and we are grateful Alhamdulillah.. We believe that those help from strangers and acquaintance and not-so-close friends came from Allah. Life is just full of surprises.

There are times that I wanted to cry just to let go of the heavy painful chest that I carry and there are times that I think, if I can face this (obstacle), I can face whatever obstacle that I have after this. When I look around me.. I could see that there are people who are in worse condition than us that whatever we are facing currently seem so trivial. Not that we find comfort when looking at other people's bigger problems, but looking at them makes us stronger in a way; knowing that they never really give up to face their bigger problem.

For those people who have been behind us.. you know how you have touched our lives. Even a smile works wonders. Your encouragement and soothing words really helped us through those times. We have not yet reached there but we know.. we have a 'new' mental list of people (some strangers remained strangers but our prayers are with you while some friends become closer friends) that we can turned to. Thanks for your ears for listening and the time you spent for us. May Allah bestow upon you His blessings and rahmah for He knows.

Err.. pandang kali pertama punya cerita!

2011-03-21T02:20:00.000-07:00

Tak taulah korang macam mana tapi kadang-kadang bila berjumpa orang.. ada yang senang mesra ada yang terlebih mesra tapi kadang-kadang dan jarang-jarang kita berjumpa orang yang terus kita tak suka. Dulu tengok drama je.. Bila bawak calon menantu.. terus mencemuh bakal mak mertua. Gabra je anak lelaki. Tapi memang ada setengah orang tu, bila kita jumpa.. memang ada rasa tak boleh nak "kelik"! Ada tak? Mesti ada punya.

Alkisah nina berjumpa seseorang. Memang terang tang tang dia tak suka nina. Boleh buat tak tau je. Tak taulah kenapa. Kalau dulu nina memang senang "affected" dengan sikap orang yang tak mesra ni. Tapi sekarang nina pun tak kisah. Cuma yang nina perasan ada sesetengah orang yang tak suka dengan kita, kita pun mesti rasa yang sama (mutual gitew, suka sama suka atau dalam kes sini tak suka sama tak suka hehe). Nina ada seorang kawan tu yang bila dia sedar orang tu tak suka dia, dia akan cuba ambil hati sampai orang tu tersuka dengan dia tapi nina tak. Nina kalau orang tak suka tu, nina tak la cuba bagi suka. Elak-elak tu kadang-kadang tengok macam mana reaksi orang tu.

Berbalik pada cerita tadi. Ada sesetengah orang ambil masa untuk jadi mesra. Ada orang pulak akan perati boleh buat kawan ke tidak (dia pun tak tau ada orang perati dia jugak hehe). Ada pulak yang mesra gila tapi lama-lama.. buat tak kenal pun ada. Bila orang tak suka.. nina akur.. "wavelength" tak sama. Korang macam mana?

New Look!

2011-01-30T22:48:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum and good day!

I really can't remember when i started this blog but what i know is i did it just for fun. Somehow, it is fun for me to write and i just love getting response from you guys.. When i started.. i really didn't know anything about blogging or HTML or template or etc etc etc.. Anyway.. i've got friends who showed me beautiful beautiful templates to choose from but i guess my blog reflects who i really am.. simple. You'll notice there are changes in the layout and i intend to change more. Hopefully, you guys will stay with me. Also, i serve Nuffnang now.. hopefully, as a motivation for me to go on writing (not a demotivation for you to read hehe). I'll try to update my blogpost every week.. :D (hope i can keep my promise!) Maybe i should reduce the number of fb-ing as i need to focus on a few new things hehe...

One favour please.. if you find anything glary... please do let me know.. or any suggestions that can help me improve this blog.. i'd really love to hear them! zillion thanks in advance!

I'm starting this year, with a very positive mind; trying to shake off any negative vibes leftovers from last year and i'm strengthening the strengths in me. May 2011 be the best year ever for all of us.. amiin... ;D

Will You Still be My Friend if I have Nothing to Offer?

2011-01-23T03:12:00.000-08:00

Ever since i quite my job, one thing that i have been missing is the presence of friends around me. I'm definitely a people person. I remember in college, whenever I came back late and everyone had already had their lunch and dinner, I would insist they gather to accompany me. I just couldn't eat alone. Now that my hubby is joining me, working from home, things are quite better. Part of our bugdet adjustment this year, we mainly skip our regular breakfast outside and have our nescafe together.. My son said that we are both happy when we drink nescafe together.

There are a lot of things that I miss in my life.. My gatherings, my mini-meet-up with my bestfriend, my outings with families, as well as trips to Kampung. Not that i'm complaining, but life is very much different now; well, i'd say better in some ways. However, i can't help but wonder one thing.. my friends.

I remember a long lost friend who contacted me.. saying how much she misses me. I was flattered until she told me she needed a guarantor for her loan. I paid another friend with my service and was surprised with the long list of endless service. Until one day, i realised that she didn't need my service nor my friendship. A friend asked me a favour and i realized that she asked me to do it because she couldn't get that kind of pricing unless she gets a friend doing it. Then, once it's over, it's really over.. Another friend was extra nice until she knows for sure that the help that she needs was beyond my capabilities.

I no longer can drive anywhere i want whenever i want as we are extra careful with the budget nowadays. 2 regular outing per week might cause me another full tank for the month as well as my monthly family dinner budget. Skipping a trip to the movie may help us pay the Astro bill (which i insist should not be part of the budget adjustment as it's like a homeschool to me). Entertainment for the family has been replaced with trips to the playground and trips to the grocery has been merged with trips to school or cake deliveries.

Things have not been that bad actually. But, I sacrificed my working time because I insist on nursing my baby full time. Hubby works free lance to save his health from stress. It had happened before and I just love it that I'm mentally prepared for anything. That means adjusting our budget and sacrificing some of the not-so-important things. We still have oreo cheese cakes, pasta and other luxurious favourite food.. only the place in different; at the comfort of our home AND we are HAPPY!

I been wondering; if there will be a time that we really out of budget.. When my sedeqah will only be my smile and knowledge and time.. will you still be my friend?

Are You Ready to Forgive and Heal?

2010-12-26T02:39:00.000-08:00

When I knew about this great father, Kent Whitaker, who forgives his son for plotting his family's murder, my problem seems trivial. He decided to forgive his son for the death of his wife and youngest son and heal and move on with his life, continuing his love towards his son until he died for his death sentence.

It was years ago since I last held grudges towards someone that I really mad at. I decided then to forgive her and moved on. It was not easy.. The pain caused by her was too great that it took me years to let go. It happened (me letting go of my anger) finally and things got better. I was happier and the relationship got better that we became friends. I vowed to myself never wanting to get mad at anyone anymore and I believed my vow. But something happened beyond my control and I gave in. I got mad with someone who was quite unforgiveable. I don't get mad with people that often and it's quite easy for me to forgive and forget but this was different. Not that we quarrel verbally or fight, it was more of bottled up anger that is quite difficult to dispose.

I have never been so mad in my life. Not that I didn't try to forgive but the anger just gets bigger and bigger that it's just too difficult to forgive. I do noticed that the negativity that radiates from me whenever I have encounters with that person. My heart started beating abnormally, I tend to sweat really smelly sweat almost immediately and my face would flush in attempts to hide my anger. Trust me, it is not a very good feeling and I hate every single thing about it.

But then, that person didn't seem to notice how she radiates contagious negativity. She looks as if nothing happen and could not be bothered by anything. I'm sure by now, you really thought that it would be better for me to have a nice little chat with her. I'm sure by now, though, you know that I'm never gonna do that. I just thought it's a complete waste of my time.

The question is, is it worth all the pain and the stress caused by the negativity when we do not forgive? If it's not worth it, why is it just so hard to let go and move on. I'm sure, in Islam, forgiving is not only meant for the person who seeks forgiveness, it's more likely for the person who forgives. A forgiving person is calmer and happier. Having said that, perhaps I should give it a try. Or perhaps.. when the time comes.. it'll go away.. Hopefully..

p.s. just don't ask me who ya! ;D

Our Spouse, Our Strength..

2010-11-12T13:32:00.000-08:00

Spouse.. one word that changes our lives 360 degree. I married quite early.. the reason was simple.. I didn't want to waste time when I know he's the one. After all, I was with him everyday, every smile accumulate sin. I asked my mom to let us married during our second year but of course she wouldn't. It was a few years later only they let us. The reason was shallow (yet not that shallow in Islam) and little that I know the commitment that I signed for.

Me and him was totally different! The way I put my things and the way he neatly arranges everything was enough to drive me insane (yes, i'm the messy one and i'm not proud of it). Our lives were a mix of 2 totally different cultures. I nearly went crazy to adapt and create our own culture. When I went back to his 'kampung', it was another different culture. When he went back to mine, he seemed lost. Yet we survive and despite the number of years we are married, there are things that we need to adapt.

There are things that I just can't tolerate (until now) and he feels the same too. But those things that we can't tolerate are just kept to ourselves and tolerated somehow and we face the fact that some things just can't be changed. Or rather, easier to be adapted than changed. We can either choose 2 solutions for those things; make our miserable if we force them to change or make us feel better if we learn how to manage it..

I believe spouse is our strength. I believe that they should not be taken for granted. I believe that they are somehow responsible for who we are. The way we show compassion to them will make them a better person. The way they believe in us will make us confident. The support that they give will make us go through any hardship that seems impossible. They make us a better person for their love and patience.

I know that because my spouse is my strength. I'll tell you what I've telling my husband million times... When the world is going against you, you know your life partner will always be with you.. When the world is crumbling and falling apart, you'll find a place to hang on to, when the world doesn't believe you, you know they'll do and even when you know that you are wrong.. you know that you can always find comfort by just telling the truth.

Treat them with compassion.. treat them with love.. Care for them like there's no tomorrow cause we never know when Allah will take them from us. Forgive them for their mistakes and be their strength.. Promise each other to try to be the best for each other. Believe that, they are the best gift from Allah.. Be fair to them as they are the parent of our children and most importantly be there for them because our spouse is our strength..

6.00 a.m
Nov 13, 2010

Journal Syawal

2010-09-21T14:47:00.000-07:00

Entah kenapa, pagi ini nina rasa kesal sangat.. Syawal tak sampai 2 minggu tapi seolah-olah 'overwrite' apa yang telah dipelajari sepanjang Madrasah Ramadhan. Sebenarnya sambutan raya tu pun dah cukup memadamkan ingatan ramadhan. Balik dari kampung, terkejut badan sudah naik 4 kilo. Hari pertama, terkena cirit-birit teruk akibat makan segala macam makanan tanpa kawalan. Usaha menjinakkan nafsu selama sebulan sia-sia sahaja. Pagi sudah liat nak bangun, jangankan nak bertadarus, quran pun entah ke mana.

Teringat semasa ramadhan.. bangun tepat pada waktu menyiapkan juadah sahur.. dengan semangat berkobar-kobar untuk meneruskan budaya bangun pagi dan masak tanpa bertangguh. Habis ramadhan semua lintang pukang macam biasa.

Kadang-kadang terfikir jugak.. mungkin ke kita berubah pada waktu ramadhan itu dek kerana keberkatan bulan itu atau kita sebenarnya mengejar pahala 70 kali ganda semata-mata tanpa keikhlasan kepada Allah.. maka habis ramadhan.. ia tidak memberi kesan pada hati.. ataupun mungkinkah, kita terlalu sibuk beraya sampai terlupa budaya yang telah kita tanamkan sepanjang ramadhan.

Anak bising.. merungut katanya lebih meriah kalau sembahyang jemaah masa bulan puasa, sekurang-kurangnya ada jugak seorang yang masih mengingatkan kami. Alhamdulillah.. dia masih mahu ke surau untuk berjemaah..

Patutlah.. katanya bila umur sudah 40 tahun, sifat dan perangai sukar untuk diubah.. "Old habits die hard".. Memang susah betul untuk istiqamah.. Walaupun umur nina belum lagi 40 tahun tapi sebenarnya sedang mengira hari. Mungkinkah cukup masa untuk berubah.. untuk membuang sifat-sifat mazmumah di dalam hati.. mungkinkan cukup masa untuk menyuburkan sifat-sifat mahmudah.. Tapi kalau diikutkan kalendar islam.. mungkinkah sudah 40 tahun kerana bulannya lebih pendek. Kalau dikira-kira.. mungkin kita lebih tua dari umur mengikut kalender masihi..

Harapnya.. selepas ini, nina boleh cuba balik mengimbas kembali semangat-semangat yang tenggelam dek bulan perayaan ini.. takut tak sempat ke Madrasah Ramadhan tahun depan. Yelah.. kematian selalu menjenguk kita.. kita saja yang lupa nak jenguk kematian..

2010-08-22T15:05:00.000-07:00

Ahlan Ya Ramadhan! Ku Menunggu RahmatMu, Ya Allah!

2010-08-10T22:24:00.001-07:00

Alhamdulillah.. sampai juga Ramadhan tahun ini. How time flies. Masa kecik-kecik dulu, nak menghabiskan satu tahun, punyalah lama.. tapi rasa macam baru je bersalinkan Muhammad Ramadhan lepas.. dah nak setahun dah.

Selalunya.. sejak lahir anak yang sulung 11 tahun.. cuma dua kali je miss puasa. Yelah... mengandung, menyusu.. mengandung lagi dan menyusu.. Tak merasalah mengganti puasa. Bila tahun lepas bersalin dalam bulan ramadhan, 15 hari lah nak kena gantinya.. masih belum habis ganti.. Agaknya semangat yang tak berapa kuat... almaklumlah.. bila menyusu.. memang sentiasa lapar.

Terharu rasa bila anak-anak sanggup puasa sunat menemankan ibu mengganti puasa.. Siap pesan pada yang sulung, kalau ibu tiada.. waris yang kena gantikan.. Dia janji akan gantikan. Alhamdulillah..

Percubaan kali pertama bawa Muhammad ke masjid masa solat hajat sekolah anak. Tak sampai satu rakaat dah terbatal.. bukan apa.. tergelak sebab Muhammad merangkak melintasi jemaah sambil berhenti dan mengagah makcik-makcik dan kakak kakak.. Nina terus pergi ke saf hujung dan tunggu dia.. Harap-harap tak marah lah makcik-makcik tu ya..

Bila dah ada baby.. dulu terasa sedih la jugak, tak boleh nak pergi ke surau bersama-sama ahli keluarga yang lain, miss ceramah-ceramah di antara terawih.. tapi bila difikirkan balik, Allah memang bagi bonus bagi ibu-ibu yang menjaga anak. Duduk di rumah pun dah dikira ibadah, setiap tangisan apabila memotong bawang dikira pahala. Apatah lagi bila, menyusukan anak. Bila ingat balik pahala yang Allah sediakan walaupun berada di rumah.. terubat hati ini. Janji, tak boleh merungut.

Bila Ramadhan tiba, entah kenapa terasa sayu hati.. dengan kerahmatan Allah. Sesungguhnya Dialah yang Maha Pemurah.. Diberikan bonus berganda-ganda.. Diberikan ruang untuk kita memperbaiki diri kita dan ruang untuk kita bertarung dengan nafsu sendiri. Selalunya.. kita menyalahkan syaitan. Allah juga memberi 'servis' percuma.. Sebulan untuk servis 'digestive' kita, (selagi kita tidak makan macam gilerr).

Nina awal-awal lagi dah beritau adik ipar yang tinggal dengan kami buat masa ni.. bulan puasa ni, kami tak makan mewah-mewah.. tahun lepas, sekali pun tak pergi ke bazar ramadhan. Nina nampak dia macam terkejut. Bukan apa, harga dah tentu melambung-lambung dan kalau bulan Ramadhan ni tak ambil peluang nak jinakkan nafsu, rugilah. Lagipun, memang suami dan Nina selalu bagitau kat anak-anak.. Allah bagi kita peluang untuk rasa.. macam mana sesetengah orang tu berlapar.. kita berlapar sebulan je.. ada je orang yang berlapar sepanjang tahun..Jadi kita kenalah bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada.

Jadi sempena Ramadhan ini, Nina bagi pihak seluruh keluarga nina menyusun 10 jari, dengan rasa rendah diri, memohon ampun dan maaf bagi apa juga kesalahan sama ada kecil atau besar dan minta dihalalkan makan dan minum (masa potluck tu main makan je hehe) .. apatah lagi, kita yang suka bergurau ni, tak tahu, entah-entah ada yang terguris di hati.. Bukan apa, terkedu bila suami balik dari terawih semalam bagitau antara orang yang tak mendapat pengampunan Allah ialah orang yang memutuskan silaturrahim dan tidak memohon ampun dari orang yang diputuskan silaturrahim.. Dosa kita dengan Allah memang Allah akan ampunkan kerana Allah itu maha Pengampun. tapi rupanya dosa kita dengan manusia..

Ampun dan maaf ya.. semoga Ramadhan ini Ramadhan yang terbaik buat kita.. dan semoga kita dipertemukan dengan Lailatul Qadar.. Amiiin amiin ya robbal 'alamiin..

A Test from Allah?

2010-08-04T17:09:00.000-07:00

Ya Allah.. ini ujianMu.. Alhamdulillah.. tanda aku disayangi olehMu.. maka kau berilah aku kekuatan untuk menghadapinya.

My heart is torn apart. I just restarted baking as a career. I just need to pay my bills. Kecil juga hati bila salah seorang rakan cakap.. "orang yang suka bisnes ni mesti suka duit".. nina menidakkan.. "taklah kak, na ni bil pun tak lepas.." Honestly... I just love the cash flow.. when i was working with the government.. though i was late to class, my salary was never late in my account, in full, no deduction for the time i spent on walking to class! But now, no baking means no money.

Alhamdulillah.. rupa-rupanya Allah sudah aturkan perjalanan hidup ini. Siapa tahu, asalnya menolong kawan carikan resepi berakhir dengan satu karier baru yang cukup menyenangkan hati. Apatah lagi dari rumah sambil menyusukan Muhammad. What a dream career for some mommies! I just love it to work at home at the comfort of my kitchen.

It's just that, I think this is the very test from Allah.. a specially designed test meant for me and me alone. Which takes me back to more or less two years ago when I cried my eyes out. After a gentle reminder from a friend asking me to keep at least one recipe to myself, I just laughed. Basically, I shared my recipes with friends. My traditional Sampret, my Marble Shortbread and Chocolate Cips including my Moist Chocolate Cake. I remember how my 6 cakes went flat out of the oven when i was a bit fidgety about sharing the cake recipe. I know it was a reminder from Allah and by then, I believe that recipes are part of ilmu that is supposed to be shared. Well, that was what I believed until i shared with a 'friend'.

At first, we were acquaintance, and became friends as i shared my recipe, cooking tips, and everything i know about doing business. I was glad that she even started her own cake selling. Anyway.. since we meet quite often, the circle of friends are more or less the same. I remember perfectly well that morning. I was supposed to send my cuppies at the cafe where we hang out but kept on postponing a few times. I didn't realize that the one who kept on asking about this was this friend. That morning... I was standing at that table when she loudly asked, "Nina.. bila kau nak hantar kek tu.. kalau kau tak nak hantar, biarla aku yang hantar...". The whole table was quiet and everyone looked at me, anxiously waiting for the answer. "Hantarlah...". The minute I went home I cried tears of betrayal. I never thought it hurt so bad.. I kept on asking myself.. why did she have to sell at the place where I was supposed to sell.

I called my other friend and blurted everything.. I took out the recipe from my blog and kept it to myself. It was time to keep a recipe to myself. 2 years have passed and now I'm back in business.. and 2 nights ago, my phone rang. It was another friend, who has the very same circle of friends as mine and the very same potential customers, sharing the same type of business. She complimented how marvelous my cake is.. one of the best.. and asked me how to make the topping.. I told her how easy it was using my recipe and gave her.. My heart sank when she continued "Rasa macam nak je resepi kek tu...".. and I had tears in my eyes..

Please please please.. if you manage to spend time reading this till the very end.. can you please spend another minute, letting me know.. what should i do.. I'd really appreciate it..

My Journal..

2010-07-25T22:46:00.001-07:00

It really has been a long time.. i'm basically behind the dateline for almost everything, my laundry, my clutter, my cookies sample, 2 reviews for babywearing, my blog, bla bla bla..

Time seems to be so short.. my baby needs even more attention with his fever.. stocks need to be updated and tonnes of things need to be done. 2 days ago, my sink was blocked and it took a few hours cleaning up the mess. A week ago, my hp memory card went corrupted; almost 800 pix are gone.. I couldn't do anything at that time, thinking of my loss.

Sometimes I do wonder how some of my friends manage to do a lot of things with the same amount of time. I guess, with a nursing baby, things can be unpredictable. I heard once, a friend was advised in her FB wall.. Plan your work and work your plan.. she simply told she was breastfeeding.

I do plan.. but somehow,some plan just can't be worked out. Baby Muhammad seems to follow my routine. It's amazing how he can notice when I sneaked to do some chores in the middle of the night. What amazes me is when he sleeps soundly throughout the night in my arms. Seriously, does my warmth and smell keeps him asleep?

I'm taking a full day break today.. sleeping till noon, Muhammad temperature is quite high and he nurses most of the time, I might as well follow his routine.. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for me..

Wowee! My Own Virtual Bakery!

2010-06-22T09:16:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah... after a while.. we have decided to go online with our business.. Honestly.. it was a big decision to go back to business ever since we took almost 2 year break.. Last year, I gave birth to Muhammad.. and before that, I had one customer who drove me nuts that we decided to quit.

Wish me luck cause I really need that.. and for all who have been so supportive all this while.. thanks.. you are my strength..

Do I Make it to Heaven Being a Wife?

2010-05-23T08:03:00.000-07:00

It was the first activity for HELWA (Hal Ehwal Wanita) Taman Sutera. A talk by Ahmad Husni Abd. Rahman, from Eksekutif Dakwah Pusat Pungutan Zakat (PPZ). I just love the activity, the fact that the talk was specially dedicated to mummies and kids were busy coloring for the colouring contest. Sometime in between, baby cries were heard and kids running in the surau. Aren't kids supposed to be exposed to the environment though most of the time they weren't even listening. The best part was the food right after that. :)

However, there was one thing that really caught my attention. It was when Ustaz told for a fact that a lot of women won't make it to heaven just because they are not thankful for their husbands and never really appreciate their husbands for their kindness. I was busy pondering my thoughts to listen to the rest of the talk especially when he asked "How many of you really greet your husbands at the door?" [i do.. hehe] "and thank him for working the whole day to take care of us" [opps...].. He continued "How many said thank you when your husbands give you money [i do.. hehe] and make a looongg face when it is not enough [oppssssss].. ".

I was told by a friend to be thankful when I complained that I'm embarrassed because most of the time my husband is the one doing the house chores as I'm mostly with Muhammad breastfeeding him. My husband is indeed a rare species.

My husband stopped charging my phone because I complained that he was gonna ruin my battery and now there are times that my handphone suddenly went off because it is out of battery.

I complained that he never really took me out to big malls when he had already given me permision to go with my friends. While some of my friends are stuck at home because their husband won't allow them go outing with friends and never really took them out.

I can write a long list of the things that I complain but I'd better not because some of my complaints are not said outloud but I can't deny the dissatisfaction I have in my heart. Hopefully things are gonna change from now on because of what Ustaz said to end his session:

Setiap waktu seorang wanita itu bersama keluarganya, yang dilakukan dengan penuh keikhlasan adalah dikira ibadah..

Shaking off the Negative Vibes!

2010-04-19T08:12:00.000-07:00

Honestly, who wants to be negative? I have been trying really hard to stay as positive as I can, but then, there are times when I have to admit, some people just love being negative and the worse part is when their negativity seems to be contagious. Or, i do wonder, does the person whom we think being negative thinks the same way about us. Are we the source of their negativity? Or do both of us tend to be negative in the presence of one another? Is the feeling mutual?

I do remember my husband quoting Irfan Khairi.. get rid of the negative people around you. I think I should. Being negative somehow will radiate toxic from you .. You'll feel tired, lethargic and worse is you tend to keep on talking bad things behind that person's back.

I've encountered many negative people in my life. I just hate the way they criticise other people, I just hate the way the smirk when others are telling stories and I hate the way they tilt their nose as if the nostril are meant to be seen, most importantly, I just hate the way I feel right after I see them. It made me a bad person scrutinising their habits and behaviour. I should have just left them alone and now I'm starting to sound like I am being negative.. hehe.. see I told you, it's contagious.

Are you a negative person. Some negative people whom I know can't just be happy for others. I've seen them loathing another when someone share a great news like buying a new house or buying new clothes. Happiness is not only about your happiness but sometimes being happy for others make us a happier person. Easy! To be a happy person does not mean you have to be happy for yourself only.. in fact, most of my happiness somehow came from being happy for others.. a friend having a newborn, my sister renovating her house, my student getting married, my sister in law's convocation. I remember when a lot of friends graduating with 2nd class upper, I was so excited that a friend asked me, "yang kau excited sangat ni kenapa???". I was startled.. well.. I explained.. I'm just happy for them..

I'm surrounded by filthy rich people who spend their money like there's no tomorrow. There was a point that I withdrew myself when I thought there's no way I will ever spend like them and felt like a turtle shrinking itself in it's shell as I just don't have that much money to spend. However, there is never a bit of jealousy in my heart being around them. (But I do stay away if they start bragging because I just think there's nothing to brag when everything lays in the hand of Allah.)

err.. my baby's crying.. will continue later [sigh]...

Smoke Smoke Everywhere!

2010-04-05T23:28:00.000-07:00

I feel awful today, there's a frog in my throat, my nose feels like it's twice its normal size. When I look at Muhammad, I feel really bad though it's definitely not my fault.

I was with a friend, accompanying her throughout her less than an hour important discussion and this guy just coudn't stop smoking. It was obvious that he was trying to puff as far as he could. While taking a break later at a restaurant, a guy behind me openly lit a cigarrette right behind me. I wonder whether he was just ignorant or simply could not bother the damage he's causing to my baby.. I moved away to the other side of the table.. Years back, I was really skeptical when the government came out with a long list of non-smoking zone in Malaysia.. assuming that it's never going to be implemented fully. Now, the list definitely remained as a long list.

I just find smokers so selfish. I apologize for my humble opinion.. but the only ones who seem to be enjoying it are them. I was just so furious with smokers that I asked my students when I taught physical education in school to calculate the money their father spent on smoking. I can still remember their angry faces when I asked the, "is it enough to pay your school fees?". I knew some of them haven't paid their fees.

The truth is, I'm allergic to smoke.. the minute peple light up their cigarette, I can actually feel the effect immediately.. my eyes become watery, my nose stings and I'll start sneezing. I do wonder how those with asthma survive when they are exposed to smoke.

Maybe one day.. when the tax for cigarette are really high and people's awareness gets better and the anti smoking campaign is really working.. things are gonna get better.. I hope or is it just wishful thinking?

"Nur Dayana Insyirah 1st Birthday Giveaway"

2010-03-25T13:19:00.001-07:00

Assalamualaikum E-ein.. Alhamdulillah.. syukur pada Allah, E-ein dah setahun sekarang. Terasa baru semalam E-ein dilahirkan kedunia ini.. Kalau boleh, tentu mama E-ein mahu bekukan masa agar masa tidak berlalu terlalu pantas dan setiap detik bersama E-ein dapat dirakam dalam memori mama E-ein.

You are one lucky baby E-ein, you mama is all crazy about you.. she gives only the best for you.. Her pumping sessions are countless just to feed you when she's away from you... and when she's with you... wearing you is the most precious moment to ensure your safety and comfort.. and your mama's blog is meant for you E-ein, because you are just so special and the place for you in her heart is forever..

E-ein, love your mama the way she loves you... The moment will come when she needs you the way you need her now.. I pray for you and your mama that this special bond will last forever.. Aamin.. semoga E-ein menjadi anak yang solehah.. yang sentiasa mendoakan mama dan abah.

This is me, E-ein, Acik Nina with baby Muhammad.. Muhammad dilahirkan pada tanggal 15 Ramadhan / 5 September 2009 yang lalu.

I'm not writing anything about us now.. cause this entry is yours E-ein.. let us not steal it from you...

Me? A Full Time Mom?

2010-03-16T19:20:00.000-07:00

Everything started at my friend's house during a brief visit. I got startled, didn't cry of course but was mostly in shock! It was a simple question.. "how many kids do you want?", "I think, I'm done.. I want to further my studies..".. maybe I should start calling her Dr. :P She has 3 kids and I've got 5, still pondering whether I should have more.

One my way home and the rest of the night, I was in total silence, which is so unlike me. I remember pursuing my studies when I was pregnant my second child. I had to quit because of the morning sickness.. I just couldn't do it... The plan was to do it with my husband.. something happened, I had to do it alone.. I wish I had the courage.

Finally, I blurted it out. My husband was all ears. I never regretted quitting my job but the way my friend said it made me wonder whether I'm ever gonna have my time thinking of my own ambition, my plan and my education. He never really stop me from doing anything.. he never really asked me to quit my job. It was my own decision due to my inabilities to juggle between me, my kids and the traffic jam.

In fact, before I started falling in love with him, I made it clear that I was never gonna quit my job as I want the financial security if anything ever happens to my husband. Before our wedding, I made him promise to leave my career in my own hands. He agreed to marry me, a feminist. Somehow things changed..

It took me a long time to decide what I decided. I asked for a transfer and promised myself to give another 3 years in service before making the decision. I spent 2 glorious years teaching full time without any other responsibilities.. pretending that I don't even know how to use Microsoft Excel or Microsoft Word. The plan worked well! At the same time, I asked around how it feels like to be a full time mom.

A friend of mine did asked me this, "if you are willing to be alone, less friends as you're not gonna meet as much people as you used to, do it!". I'm a people person, I'll die if I don't meet people. When I was in college, I got really lonely when my room mates were gone after exam and I was stuck there as my exam was not over yet. But everything changed when I know it was time to let go.

At times I do get lonely. At times I do feel trapped. Most of the time, I do get hurt especially when I end up having to clean up the mess and my kids just watch me doing everything and only help when I insist and start whining. I learnt to nag and nag and start hating myself but deep down in my heart.. I am happy.. doing everything for my family because once my kids are all grown up.. I'll have all the time in the world and at that time.. I'll just wish I could turn back the clock to see my kids before my eyes again..

He's not just any Peter, he's MY Peter Walsh!

2010-02-22T04:52:00.001-08:00

I hate cleaning up the house.. for me it is really a big time consuming thing to do. However, everytime I watch Peter Walsh in action in Oprah, I have this one kind of resolution to work on decluttering. In fact, I have been decluttering for quite a number of time, but then since I really don't have a place to put them, I ended up doing the same thing again and again like one big circle.

What I hate most is the fact that my kids just love to check on the items that I've sorted in boxes and put them everywhere. I just think I have to sit down and do it together and get it sent right after sorting rather than doing it again and again.

I'm amazed with one of the parents at my kids' school who collected our trash, resell and donate the money to the school. But then, it has been 2 years since she has been struggling to get a specific location in the school for her charity shop.

I think I'm gonna restart the decluttering, put the items straight in boxes, label them and seal before transporting to the charity shop (once the school decided where they are going to help us help them .. org mau tolong pun taknak!).. Or perhaps, I should spread a big plastic outside, divide into 5 categories like what Peter Walsh did; trash, keep, donate, sell.. alamak what's the 5th??? then... start having a garage sale..

What I like most about Peter Walsh is.. he is just so positive! Having a cluttered home just make you feel bad enough, you'll feel even worse when you notice your guests straying their eyes and some even make nasty comments.. :P but Peter Walsh, my Peter Walsh is just so inspiring.. making you want to have a better home!

Minumlah dari Telaga Rasulullah di Syurga Sepuas-puasnya!

2010-02-12T16:28:00.000-08:00

Teringat setelah berpenat-lelah melayan anak-anak di Tasik Cempaka bersama jiran sebelah rumah pada hari Ahad, tiba-tiba abah menelefon untuk memeriahkan lagi.. Dia nak datang rumah sebenarnya tapi kami bersantai di 'playground'. Sebaik habis anak-anak bermain, terus kami ke Pasar Tani, menjamu mata.. Tak payahlah masak kalau dah makan 'heavy breakfast'..

Saya memang hantu nasi kerabu dan nasi dagang, nampak je memang kecur air liur.. terus peniaga tu menyapa.. "belilah, tolak harga borong"..dengan cerianya saya menjawab,
"Bagilah kami borong"..

Datang mak saya, lagilah borong, dia pun sama hantu nasi kerabu.. datang suami pun borong juga, hantu pulut.. Semasa sibuk memilih-milih, anak peniaga tersebut bertanya kepada ibunya..di tangannya siap kalkulator, "yang ini berapa?" Ibunya menjawab, "RM3.00", "yang ni?" "RM3.00" tapi kedengarannya ibunya agak 'annoyed'.. Saya menjeling harga di banner.. nasi dagang.. RM3.50.. Tiada tanda harga nasi kerabu, yelah, nasi kerabu ikut lauk..

Saya cuma minta daging dan ikan dan telur untuk nasi kerabu.. nampak si ibu meletakkan ikan kering yang saiznya XXS.. "alhamdulillah", dia bersedekah..

Bila tiba waktu membayar, "Berapa kak?", "RM24.00".. Saya merenung kesemua order saya, 2 nasi dagang, 3 nasi kerabu (2 ikan, telur dan 1 daging), 3 bubur lambuk, 1 pulut kuning, 1 pulut manis.. Hati saya terdetik.. "kalau harga tak borong berapa agaknya.." Pagi-pagi, bila saya makan seluruh keluarga di gerai tepi jalan di Kajang termasuk air, lontong dan nasi lemak selalunya antara RM12-14..

Tetapi Allah Maha Mengetahui.. mungkin dia dengar hati saya berdetik.. si ibu terus berkata, "ini akak bagi free ya", dan memasukkan satu mee kari.. "lebih kurang minta halal ya".. kata-katanya yang akhir itu membenarkan detikan hati saya..

Saya mengomel juga.. tapi terpaksa menerangkan kepada ibu saya, takut dia kecil hati nampak saya berkira membayar.. saya cuma kesal dan rasa tertipu kenapa dia mempromosikan harga borong tapi pada hakikatnya.. saya dapat mee kari dan ikan kering percuma.. kan lain tu..

Saya terkilan dengan sikapnya sebab saya juga pernah berniaga.. kadang-kadang memang susah nak 'let go' kalau ada lebih bila memikirkan keuntungan yang kita dapat kalau kita jual.. Mula-mula berniaga.. kalau kek terbantat, nak bagi diskaun pun masih berkira-kira.. tapi apa yang kita peniaga selalu lupa.. ikhlas itu perlu disemai, ditanam dan dibaja. Sifat ikhlas itu tidak datang sendiri.. kita kena lembut-lembutkan hati. Berniagalah sebagaimana Rasulullah berniaga. Ingatlah.. bila kita tutup satu akaun di sini, kita sebenarnya membuka satu akaun di akhirat. Bila kita bersedekah di sini, gantiannya akan dikembalikan di akhirat berlipat-ganda. Yang paling indah sekali, siapa yang berniaga seperti Rasulullah akan tinggal di syurga Rasullullah dan sama-sama minum dari telaga Rasulullah.. Minumlah sepuas-puasnya...

Hari Mengetip Sedunia!

2010-02-06T07:48:00.000-08:00

It was just an impromtu idea. My friend is selling 'tudung' and we were trying to bring out the model in us. After trying the 'tudung' again and again in our previous meetings, we might as well make profit out of it. It was really fun playing model that day. I wished we started earlier as I only managed to snap only the plain ones and a few exclusive ones. I had to rush to fetch my son at Kindy.

What I love most is the fact that we were amazed by the beauty of the 'tudung'. If you only look at them on the hangers, most likely you won't buy it. Unlike a friend of mine who are really good at choosing good patterns on the spot without even trying it, I really have to try them on, and look into the mirror to choose a good one. We tried on a lot of 'tudung' which do not look attractive, but the minute you put them on you, it was really gorgeous, that's why we decided to open a website to display them.

My other friend is selling 'fabric' since she has a flair in choosing exclusive look fabric.. We are definitely gonna match the tudung and the fabric.. Looking at the fabric being spread is just satisfying.

The collage you see is just a preview! We are still trying to get a catchy name for the webbie. Don't worry about the price. I can guarantee you the price is gonna be as affordable as possible. Why? Because we just don't want to keep any stock! Just wait ya! (p/s if you see anything you like in the collage.. just book here, we'll reserve it for you.. but i have to warn you, beautiful things do not last forever here, hehe)..

A Day that Lasts Forever

2010-01-31T02:57:00.000-08:00

This was the longest baking day ever.. It was planned to be a 'one-day baking day' which was extended to days and nights. Perhaps I took a break too long from baking that everything was double the time and effort. [sigh].. or perhaps with a baby around, life just becomes so unpredictable.

My heart sank as the first batch of my 6 cakes sank. My ganache was not as glossy as usual.. some of the cake shrank and another batch was overbeaten which turned out to be the ordinary chocolate cake instead of moist chocolate cake. I feel really bad.. Not because of the cake but because of the reassurance that I gave to my friends as I share them the recipe of the cake. All this while, I've been telling my friends that it's just a simple recipe.. no-fail one.. but that't not exactly right.. Alhamdulillah.. everything was okay by the end of the third day.. my friends were really sporting to wait until I finished baking and rebaking.

However, every cloud has a silver lining.. out of the hard work baking, I finally managed to overcome my fear of driving. The strategy was to send the farthest one first. Since Azly had something else, I had to drive all the way to Bangi, Setapak Indah, Ampang and head home. A friend volunteered to help me out during the baking and went together to send the cakes. We even took a break eating one of the best Bakso I have ever tasted made by Sumatran lady in Ampang while feeding Muhammad. Bakso is served in big mugs with a tray of vinegar, chilli sauce and soy sauce to complement. The meat is just so tender and I just love it!I wanted to give up just before the last delivery for that trip ( the rest of the orders came from neighbours ), I sent my friend home and right before I parked my car in front of my house, a friend called asking for her order. Her son came back all the way from Mantin just to have the cake.. Flattering! I decided to do a little bit of catching up with her while I feed Muhammad again. By the time I reached home, I decided to let my friends know that I needed time. I really don't want to sell 'bantat' cakes.. of course you can cover with ganache but it's just not the same.

Alhamdulillah... Though it sounds like I'm having a bad day, the truth is I'm blessed. All this started since a badly want a preloved wrap sold by a friend.. I know, the more you want something, the harder the test will be.. but I'm just grateful to Allah for granting it to me.. As for my baking.. i think i'll just put it on hold until I'm really ready..

I love you.. I love all of you..

2010-01-25T22:05:00.000-08:00

I met a friend this morning.. she had just lost her father last week. I really didn't know how to react, but as a friend, sadness should be shared. I held her hand and prayed that she is granted with all the strength to move on. She tried to smile but I could see tears in her eyes.

She told me her pledge made last year, to make her 'balik kampung' trip at least once a month. It's January and she started her trip only to visit her father for the last time. She asked me how often I visit my own father.. I stammered.. sometimes my dad is the one visiting us when we prioritise other things than him.

I've been thinking a lot about death.. the loved ones who will miss me.. and the loved ones who leave to be missed. when a friend lost her husband, my other friend told me.. it's a matter of time.. it will happen to everyone. I got really scared just thinking about it.

Every morning, before my husband leaves for work, it has become a habit for the whole family to recite 3 prayers.. no matter how angry i am during our cold war, i certainly forgive him and forgive myself for whatever wrongdoings that caused it.

At times of anger, my children did turned away when they kissed me.. sometimes they even avoid kissing me.. i try to understand that they do need some time to cool down though it hurts so bad without realizing that they must have learnt that from me. At times of my own anger, i did give them the cold shoulder, stiffing myself when they hug me and normally regret later and wonder what will happen if that's the last time i ever see them.

I'm just among the lucky ones to still have my parents.. I have never lost anyone in my nucleus family. Everytime i have parental issues with my kids, i will reminisce the things that i did to my own parents which i know very painful. I understand now that the pain that i caused them is very much similar to the ones caused by my own kids out of just facial expressions and gestures. I dare not confess this to my parents in case they have forgotten the things that i did and the confession will remind them how hurt they were in facing the challenge in raising me.

I've been telling my kids again and again that whatever happens to me.. i always forgive them and ask them to pray for me as nothing is more valuable than the prayers of our children..

so here i am, making a pledge to seek forgiveness from everyone and appreciate them while they are still here.. i love you.. and forgive me for any pain that i may have caused...

Kindy Teacher Training

2010-01-16T09:56:00.000-08:00

Wow! I just love it! Though I was a bit nervous at the beginning to see some grumpy faces having to come on Saturday, I'm thrilled when some of them expressed their thanks for the crazy activities at the end of the session!

We didn't even realize the time as we were busy giggling and laughing. One thing that I like most about teaching is the satisfaction you feel right after it. To see their gleaming sweaty faces is such a good feeling. What is more satisfying with kindy teachers is they are willing to do it without being shy!

Hopefully I'll have the time to do it next time. Poor baby Muhammad, Azly had to send him as he refused his bottle. Though some insisted that I should introduce him to solid food now since he is already 4 months, I think I'll just stick to 6-month exclusive breastfeeding. I have to postpone a few plans but it's just worth it!

Mommies Day Out Pt. 1

2010-01-14T08:19:00.001-08:00

It has been a while since I last go out with the other mommies. Not that I don't want to but then everything seems to be hectic ever since the birth of Baby Muhammad. As soon as confinement ended, it was Raya Haji and the beginning of the new school term. So, off we went with our girlish giggles trying out 'tudung' at Ariani's and continued at "Baiti Living". While my other two friends were busy trying, I was busy crowding the changing room and did some baby bonding with Muhammad.

My eyes nearly popped out just looking at price tag at Ariani which range between RM69 - RM299. Very satisfied with the tudung hunting, we went to Alamanda, Putrajaya for our hearty meal at Johnny's (courtesy of Ipah, thanks darling!). Wish I snapped a few photos there. Instead of ordering real drinks, we ordered 1 strawberry shake and 1 'palm in syrup' which i definitely want to order after this (or rather make it myself).. I just love the slices of jackfruit and the palm fruit. Yummy..

Once done, we went straight to the 'surau'. There is a changing room, of course, near the surau with toilet. I went to the changing room but can't possibly put Muhammad down to go the bathroom (how can I.. poor baby Muhammad can't be left on the changing table which was 5 meters away).. and i wonder if it's possible to do the business with baby Muhammad in my wrap.. (huish! camne nak cuci).. anyway, my friend held Muhammad.. I was merely thinking how to do it if I came alone.

We went to MPH, and I thought baby Muhammad did his business and needed to be changed. Since there's Huggies tester are sold at Watson (as told by my friend).. I marched straight to Watson with baby Muhammad in 'back carry'.. The treatment was first class!! Thank you Watson, Alamanda, you guys made my day! I felt like a celebrity, truly.. When I made my payment, 3 Watson staffs were cuddling Muhammad behind me.. "eii, comelnya", "akak ikat macam mana ni".. Though I didn't get everything I wanted to buy.. hehe (The male staff was sooo kind, he asked me "akak cari apa akak".. i dared not answer.. so i said "you really don't want to know" .. "oh" (imagine if i tell him i was looking for a c****m) :)

When I went to the changing room, I managed to promote this one mommy to malaysianbabywearers forum. I couldn't help glancing at the cute baby which i found out was only 1 month. I know i'm being overreacting but I couldn't stop feeling sorry when i saw the bottle feeding the baby. I must tell myself not to be too emotional next time. [sigh]..

That's not the end of the journey.. We went to precint 15 to ambush "The Baker's Cottage" (courtesy of our very own chaperon, Kak inah, thank you!!! muah muah muah) before heading to our third RHB at Precint Diplomat in search of their new product! jeng jeng jeng...

Finally, it was time to head home.. before that.. my kids are waiting at school (I was a bit late that day.. but my kids didn't mind of course, they were busy catching up with their friends too). Zillion thanks to my hubby, who was on leave that day and helped fetching my 4th son from kindy..

As for me.. I'm very very eager to be out with my friends.. as a SAHM (stay at home mom), I really could use some break before I get out of my mind.. Not that I don't enjoy being a full time mommy but sometimes giving yourself some time and space will make you a better mom.

Simple Steps to Breastfeeding Success

2010-01-07T18:20:00.000-08:00

I'm kinda emotional when i know babies never got a chance to breastfeed. I know it sounds ridiculous but then it's just part of me that is so hard to change. It's none of my business, really, but i can't help it. If you do it the right way, insyaallah.. it'll be a success.

1. Keep Your Mind Set on the Right Track
Way long before giving birth, set your mind set right. Make sure you practice wanting to breastfeed. Make an effort to be thrilled about breastfeeding your baby. It's squirmish of the idea of letting someone cling onto your nipple if it's your first born, but breastfeeding is very rewarding in the long run, trust me!

2. Be Ready with the Strict Contract
A lot of people have been boasting about the goodness of breastfeeding but very little people have exposed how challenging it is. Be prepared with long hours of feeding with your baby as breastmilk is just so easy to digest, babies tend to get hungry compared to when given formula milk. Back pain is just part of it plus the fact that you won't get that much sleep like before. All these are not a hindrance to successful breastfeeding. It should encourage you more if you are a real fighter.

Breastfeeding makes me realize how persistent i can be if i really want to do something. It is a symbol of my strength in raising my kids. Whenever I feel that i'm a terrible mom, this will calm me down; the fact that i signed a 2-yr contract with 3 of my 4 kids. My eldest was just an 8-month contract, due to no one but myself. But then, it was the reason why the rest are succesful.

3. Seek Support from Strong Believers
Don't just ask anyone. Go straight to the right people, forum, lactation counsellors or even websites. Strong believers of breastfeeding will support each other. I've known people who loaned their own breastpump to ensure the success of others. They will come and help new mommies to do it right. Having support will help you during the times when you get really down due to certain issues in breastfeeding.

4. Sometimes, it's better to Put on Deaf Ears
I learnt this mistake after the failure of my eldest son's breastfeeding. Remarks from people should be left unheard. Negative people should be shoved away kindly. It can't be denied that certain people are just so very negative when it comes to breastfeeding and they just can't shut their mouth up. Things like ' Breastmilk is not enough.. formula milk is better as it's thicker', 'he is still hungry' etc etc will leave us feeling doubt about breastfeeding.. thus affecting the milk production.

5. Wake the Baby up But Do it Lying down!
A lot of people believe that if the baby is sleeping, let him sleep, he will tell you when he is hungry. The truth is when the baby cries, he is already very very hungry to one extend that he can start crying hysterically. This definitely cause stress and can give a huge impact to your milk production. Time your clock.. be alert of the time. For newborn, feeding should be between 1 to 1.5 hours apart. Just squirt a bit of your milk into his mouth or simply touch his cheek with your nipple. If he keeps on stirring in his sleep, he is probably hungry.

6. Go Gadget Go!
If you must, get gadget that can help you brestfeed cosily, a nursing pillow, a neck rest, a hiding hooter / nursing cover, nursing dresses and a baby wrap just to cater all that you need. Take it as a motivation and a reward for yourself.

7. Enjoy it while You still can!
There's no point being grumpy. Watch tv, read a magazine, pamper your baby. Once they have started walking, or even crawling, you have less time to cuddle your baby.

8. Look at the Percentage.
Don't look at the number of hours you have to spend nursing your baby. Look at the percentage instead. A average person is expected to live at least until the age of 60, thus, 2 years of breastfeeding is just 3.3% of his life. Need I say more?

9. Take it as a Reward
You will definitely get rewards for you sacrifice. As you breastfeed, your vagina will start to contract and get to its original size. Breastfeeding will use up the fat you accumulate during pregnancy. I've been told by a very plump mother how her weight didn't budge even when she fully breastfed. My answer was simple "Imagine if you didn't breasfeed at all hehehe".

10.Think of the Money you can Save
Formula milk is really pricey and it's not even close to the goodness of what breastmilk can offer. Whatever ingredients claimed to be in the formula milk is an attempt to imitate what breastmilk has. Isn't it better to give the best formula specially formulated for us by our Creator.

Laksa Cendol Pasembor Seksyen 4 Tambahan

2010-01-05T07:53:00.000-08:00

Specialities -Pasembor, Laksa n Cendol
Location - Under the shady trees, Seksyen 4 Tambahan, Bangi

How to Go There - From Plus Kajang Exit, go straight until you reach a T-junction, turn left and go straight (there will be traffic lights of course) until you see a roundabout. At the roundabout, go straight and turn right at the traffic light. Then, immediately turn left. You should be able to see the stall there.

I was introduced to this place by a friend of mine. Even before that, I did come here but then laksa was just finished. Basically I'm a Laksa Maniac.. I've been to places that serve laksa and mark the place that serves really good Laksa. This place is different, however. Even though I came to try laksa, I was hooked with the pasembor instead which is served with really thick gravy. It was love at first sight. I just love the taste of the thick gravy.. Nutty and not too spicy for my kids. You can ask for plain pasembor, rojak mee or rojak sotong.. Yummy! This is not the typical mamak style pasembor with runny chilli saucy gravy.. This is Malay Pasembor.. I dare say it's one of the best pasembor I have ever tried.

Cendol is served in stainless steel bowl. I was not really fancy about the condiments inside the cendol. For me, cendol should not have cincau' but then, the minute I tasted the cendol, I crave for another bowl. The cendol is just subtle, not too sweet and not too creamy. It was perfect for me. Most importantly, I am just so sure that the sugar is definitely not white sugar like some sellers use. The cendol looks white but when you stir, you can see the colour changes instantly to the colour of 'gula melaka'. I just love it and I will definitely come back for more.

As for the service, food served are really quick and the table are wiped clean. You can actually see gallons of water waiting to be used to clean up the bowl! I didn't even manage to ask them their names, it was drizzling then, but then the service is warm and good as seen in the pix!

Saya Yakin Betul, Abang Aznil!

2010-01-02T19:23:00.001-08:00

I was frying 'keledek' fritters when I suddenly realized something.. As I slid the 'keledek', or rather threw the 'keledek' into the wok, I just love the sound of it sizzling in the hot oil... "cheng", "cheng", "cheng"..

I called my husband into the kitchen. "Now I know where the 'Jangan Lupa Lirik' gets its idea! "Kita buka petak satu!", "cheng!", dua! "cheng!", "tiga!", "cheng"...

Irfan came running "dua!", "lapan!", "tiga!" and it continues until every bit of "keledek" fried.. Apa nak jadi mak engkau ni Irfan??

Budget Adjustment every Year!

2009-12-27T11:24:00.000-08:00

Haziq is starting school next year.. Each time my child enrolls in school, I get really nervous even though we survived each time so far. It's not that bad, really, but then we tend to forget how Allah grants each and everyone of us with our own rezeki.

This year, for my budget adjustment, I'm trying my luck at sewing my daughters uniform. I'm definitely not fond of sewing but then I decided to try as the price of school uniform nearly gave me a heart attack.. Her baju kurung alone costs RM20.00 and that does not include her 'kain' and 'tudung'. After a few trips to different stores, it's gonna cost us RM200++ for Nurul alone. Last year's uniform is not gonna help either.. She needs blue uniform this year.. [sigh]..

When I look back the past years, we managed because we adjusted our lifestyle. Some things are really hard to let go but in the act of survival, we managed to change our lifestyle tremendously. I've heard some of my friends tell me it's okay for me as I can bake. The truth is, baking was one of the lifestyle that we had to change.

I started with finding recipes for friends, I ended up trying the recipe and sell eventually. There was a time when the profit of my cake went straight to the grocery store leaving my money just enough for the next cake to sell. There was a time when I had sleepless night catering my friends' order. I had to sneak at 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning to finish decorating the cakes. It was a blessing from Allah. I can never thank Him enough.. Here are the things that we adapted. Hopefully it will help you too. Or perhaps if you don't even have to change your lifestyle.. it will help you count your blessings. Alhamdulillah...

1. Eat in instead of Eat Out

Even if you are too lazy to cook, you can cook rice and buy the 'kuah' and 'lauk'. When i didn't know how to cook back then, it was always, 'telur masak kicap', 'ikan masak kicap', 'telur masak taucu', 'ikan masak taucu'. The list didn't change for quite some time. You'll save a lot since you don't spend on drinks and rice. Even if you don't have children, it'll save you almost RM6.00.

2. Stop Watching Movies, Go to the Playground instead.

With the popcorn and drinks, my family will spend RM50.00 for a trip. We managed to get our kids to wait until it is aired on tv or buy the CDs. We now regularly go to the playground at Cempaka Lake, Bangi, armed with skipping ropes and Rollerblades. We even bring 2 tumblers of chilled water from the fridge. We only spend RM6 for ice cream on the way home and yet happier with the adrenalin rush..

3. If you really Need to Buy, Postpone at least 5 Minutes

I used to want things immediately and realize at the end that I don't really need it. Some things can be postponed. If you have the urge to buy, walk pass it and if you still want it when you are about to check out at the counter, you might need it. If not, it's probably your own desire..

4. Only Buy New Clothes if You don't have Enough

Shopping is just so relaxing.. Be extra careful when it's on sale. Most of the time we spend on clothes that we don't really need. How often have you bought a 'tudung' without having anything to match? You end up having to buy a new blouse just to match the 'tudung'.

5. Go ahead, jot it down!

Have you ever calculated how your money just slipped through your fingers? I once jotted down everything I spent for three whole months, typed it in Excel and found out exactly where I spent. You'll be surprised just to know where you spent and where you can save. This is a must-try tip!

6. Explain to your Kids! Don't Lie when You can't Afford it!

This used to be tough but then we were determined to let them know the truth! My kids were frustrated that we don't want to buy PS2. Everyone seems to have it and they are sick and tired of the braggings they heard at school. We even went to the store to check out the price. We explained how we have to spend the money on other important thing. The bottomline is, do tell your kids and don't just be shy to admit if you can't afford it. I've heard parents lie "Kedai ni tak jual", "Benda ni dah rosak" and sometimes ask the shopkeeper to lie for them and it makes me sad.

7. Believe in Allah

Allah has promised that each and everyone will have their own rezeki. I had a hard time telling my kids how rezeki comes in different forms. It need not be money. Being a part time teacher at my son's kindy gave me free enrollment which normally costs me RM300++, having good neighbours may mean spending less on vacation and having my baking skill polished by attending demo classes is a gift from Allah, enough to save me a lot with my family of 7.

My Very 1st Malaysian Babywearers Gathering!

2009-12-19T16:27:00.001-08:00

I was a bit shy to come at the beginning actually but then the other members of the forum kept on encouraging newbies to come.. It was great.. I'm into wraps.. I just love the closeness of the baby to me. Since one of the topics was going to be on backcarries, I braved myself. (can remember myself being a shy person hehe but meeting up a bunch of new people definitely makes me nervous!)

I was a bit late, we were stuck in the jam.. Though I managed to get Ila to join, I was still a bit nervous. However, once you are in it, there's no turning back. You somehow blend with the environment.

We had no worries about the baby crying or having to stand while they talk if the baby does cry. What I enjoyed most, apart of the babywearing was the food of course.. hehe.. What impressed me most is the fact that the husbands were all patiently waiting while waiting for their older kids.. My husband was at the Mamak Stall with the rest of the clan.

If you look at the pix, you can actually see they simply stash everything there for us to try. Most of them are personal stuff (thanks guys.. I enjoyed trying the Vatanai.. terdiam la sekejap because my 6.1kg baby seems weightless in it compared to my DIY Jersey knit..). I wish baby Muhammad did not sleep. I was really eager to try out the SSC as well as the Mei Tai..

Why am I writing this? I'm hoping all newbies to join. It's a great experience and I'm hoping to join more gathering after this. So, the next step is to brave myself to drive myself or to get a GPS though.. So, newbies.. I quote what Adriana said yesterday.. "Babywearing is addictive!" Couldn't agree more! so, join us in the next gathering ya!

It's Friday! I should be happy!

2009-12-10T17:52:00.000-08:00

It's Friday.. by right i should be happy.. somehow i woke up this morning feeling completely lost.. i can't even say it with words right now.. glad a friend is coming to share some babywearing tips.. tidied the house in 30 minutes.. it's not super clean.. but presentable.. hopefully the company will cheer me up..

Phew! What a Hectic Weekend!

2009-12-07T06:07:00.000-08:00

It's Monday Blues.. Finally, I had my rest today, luckily baby Muhammad was really clingy, he insisted I sleep with him.. My kids said I was snoring in my sleep. The whole two weeks before was gone in a flash practising for kindy konvo, making my tree costume and preparing Raja Namrud's snake cane which didn't look much like a snake.. the tongue went missing when the kids used it in pole fencing when I was busy conducting for my Medley..

On Saturday, we went to Nilai to buy butterfly corsage before heading to Muar for my school mate's wedding. On the way home, we managed to be at Azly's college's wedding just before 5.. Dinner was all the goodies we collected from the two weddings. Alhamdulillah..

The very next day was another hectic Sunday. Konvo started around 8.30a.m and ended at 12.30. After helping with the clearing up, we had nasi lemak provided by school and took a nap which was more like sleeping to me.. Though the next agenda, usrah at my sis' house in Bandar Tasik Puteri was supposed to start at 5, we started our journey just before 5 bracving ourselves through the jam..

Everything went by in a flash.. By 10.30pm... we were at home soundly asleep..

A Pix that Saves a Frienship! Alhamdulillah...

2009-11-28T20:42:00.000-08:00

I either misplaced it or threw it! I remember putting it somewhere for my husband to send for photocopying and that was it! I know it's a matter of time before my friend ask about the loaned paper cutting.. I didn't know whether to confess or search for it when I discover that the clipping was missing. I ended up cleaning up my bill and threw all the unnecessary paperwork from school 2 years ago.. and still I couldn't find it.

Yesterday.. she 'sms'ed me and asked for the paper cutting.. My heart skipped a beat.. I didn't reply hoping that miracle will happen.. I searched for the last time upstairs and ended up clearing more clutter but there was still no sign of the paper cutting.. all the paper cuttings left were all mine..

so, this morning .. I tried my ultimate solution, which was suggested by my husband 2 months ago, I searched the web... I could not remember any of the information from the cutting.. so I just typed in the relevants words.. but no avail.. there's no point doing that.. there were thousands and thousands of articles related to Shah Alam!

My last hope.. I showed my husband the clipping that I snapped when I first got the article, hoping that he would recall if he had seen that article.. suddenly.. a miracle did happen and I thank Him for that.. When I zoomed the photo, I could actually see the exact date and the exact newspaper! Voila! Using the archive from the newspaper online.. my husband managed to find it and sent the link straight to mail.. as soon as I publish this post! To my friend.. ( i think she knows it's her story.. thank you and sorry! I just didn't have the guts to tell you myself earlier.. not that I don't wanna be honest.. but I really treasure our friendship.. losing something that really matters to you might just show the opposite.. so please accept my apology.. I really hope you don't mind getting the article back in soft copy... (I'll print out for you [malu nih]..)..

Alhamdulillah...

My New Obsession - Babywearing!

2009-11-20T15:10:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to update my blog.. in fact, I have signed in soo many times but I just signed out without doing anything.. The pic shows why! This is my very first wrap and i can assure you this is not gonna be the last!

Despite the number of kids that I have.. this is the very first time I know about baby wearing.. it all started with the word "sling", one site leads to another, i started making my own pouch sling, my DIY flannel wrap and started browsing the net to find more about the slings.. Then, I noticed a lot of mommies selling handmade pouches and sling online with Malaysian Baby Wearers logo.

There's even a term for that! B.A.B.Y.W.E.A.R.I.N.G! I love it! Wear your baby! yeay! This is no kangaroo bag you know.. there are many many ways to wear your baby.. and the list of acronym is long enough to make a table runner hahaha..

There more I read.. the more obsessed I become.. Irfan, my-3-year-old son always chuckles when he becomes the subject of my experiments..

I wish I can write more.. but I'm reading about this back carry with wraps! see ya!

Wanna catch up with me? http://malaysianbabywearers.org/.. If you are obsessed.. just don't put the blame on me :)

Err.. Bukan Khurafat ke Tu?

2009-11-06T22:19:00.000-08:00

Went to the clinic the other day with my 2-month-old baby. After 2 brothers had been infected, it was now his turn.. Poor thing.. he had been clingy since 2 days before..

An elderly woman with her grandson smiled at me.. Once she knew it's chicken pox, she offered me her remedy.. to bath Muhammad with water from young coconut.. Why didn't I think of that? I dare not give him coconut water but to bath or sponge bath him with it is a totally different story.. I thanked her... the next remedy was really scary for me..

"Taknya ambil colok cina, asap-asapkan badan dia.. dulu pakai kemenyan.. sekarang ni pakai colok cina je boleh".. I could not compute.. Will the smoke from the joss stick help killing the virus? I stammered when I asked her why.. She answered "Ye la.. asal chicken pox tu kan dari H*****, kalau dulu kena pergi kuil, minta ubat boleh baik.. "

I was shocked.. dalam hati.. "er bukan khurafat ke tu?" but the question remained in my heart. I dared not tell her my piece of mind as it can be really offensive if you don't know how to do it properly. What came to my mind at that time was, if you are asking help from other than Allah, silap-silap haribulan boleh syirik.. apatah lagi meminta dari orang yang menyembah selain dari Allah.. Na'uzubillaahi min zalik!

Anyway.. when I was on my way home.. I regretted myself for not blurting the question out.. Or was it enough just to reprimand quietly.. itulah selemah-lemah iman..

What a Trip!

2009-11-01T18:50:00.000-08:00

I was driving, my husband was not around, when suddenly I heard one soft voice from behind.. "Ibu, jom pergi Jusco" (Ibu, let's go to Jusco). I knew sooner or later, they will ask me to go to the mall. They know that this is definitely not my husband's favourite activity..

I was nervous.. Can I really single-handedly take care of my 5 kids. There was a long pause. I did my calculation, baby Muhammad will be in my arms secured tightly with my version of Moby Sling. My 8-year-old daughter will be in charged of the 3-year-old son and my eldest son, 10 will be with his buddy, 6-year-old Haziq. I glanced at the car clock.. It was 10.45.. by the time I reach there, it'll be around 11.. Still early..

I decided to make an agreement.. I laid out a very long list of rules.. Strictly no straying, no walking alone, Nurul will always have to walk in front of me.. blah blah blah or else.. "Or else?", my son asked.. THIS WILL BE THE LAST TRIP TO JUSCO.. Everyone held their breath.. I had their words but I just kept quiet. They know if they keep on pastering me, they have no hope so they were all in silence..

Just before I reached the junction that separates my home and the mall, I decided to give it a try.. they were thrilled..

I didn't dare walking around the mall. We stopped at the nearest bench in the mall, put baby Muhammad in his sling and we walked straight to Jusco Playland. As agreed, they went from game to game in groups.. and finally they spent a looongg time at the Sand Art Station. My eldest helped the youngest peeling the stickers. It kept them occupied for a long time while I bond with baby Muhammad.

Then, we had a quick tour to the kitchen department, Popular book store and went straight to have our regular ice cream. It was a three-hour-trip without us realizing it. Alhamdulillah.. everyone went home happy..

Why I'm so Addicted to 'Bejewelled Blitz'

2009-10-28T08:48:00.000-07:00

I've been spending hours in front of the PC, playing 'Bejewelled'. Even my kids are excited too. In fact, they are now starting to play. At first, I really thought it is just a matter of swapping gems until I finally decided what was so addictive about it.

This afternoon, as soon as Haziq heard me playing it, he quickly rushed to watch me playing.. 'Wah! Hebatlah ibu' (You're really good!). I realized that the reward was not really the high score, but it was the positive reinforcement! I just couldn't help enjoying the phraises, "Good", "Incredible", "Excellent"... The more you hear those magical words, the more gems you tend to swap.. the more excited my son became.

It's a bit ironic with the fact that we love being acknowledged for our accomplishment but we somehow fail to give acknowledment to those who deserve credit. I'm really sad when my son has to ask me "Do I behave today?", failing to give credit to him that he has to ask. So, in this short entry, I'm making myself a 'Bejewelled' pledge.. "Acknowledge Others the Way You Like to be Acknowledged.." :P

Hunting for the Perfect Sling

2009-10-24T10:47:00.000-07:00

Finally my confinement is over.. and now I'm really busy hunting for the perfect sling for Muhammad. Moby Wrap, Pouch Sling.. not forgetting the nursing cover. The thing is, this sling is just sooo expensive to buy. After a long time browsing the net (that's why I haven't been updating this blog), I decided to stick to my maid's "flannel kain gendong". It's amazing how the westerners mothers are also using "kain gendong". I remember using one in Langkawi, my 4th child was cranky being too tired going here and there, I bought myself one "batik lepas" and started carrying him. I could see that I suddenly became the centre of attention compared to those gamelan players at Kota Mahsuri. Then, I started talking like Indonesian to my husband (kikikik.. lagilah orang tengok, I just love the attention hehe)

My previous search was on nursing cover.. or called hooter hider. breastfeeding blankets and god knows what else they call it. I managed to sew my own but because I got the ideas from websites from overseas, I really had trouble trying to find the material here. "D-ring", for instance is called "buckle" here and "boning" had to be substituted with material used for stiffening shirt collar. It's still half way because I've been searching here and there for the material needed.. Maybe I'll just post the pics when they are ready!

As I was browsing the net, I could see some nursing mothers eventually became WAHM (working at home mothers), selling different types of sling, crafts etc etc etc. I bet all of them started when they were browsing the net for the perfect sling and nursing cover..

Will I be one of them? hahaha.. maybe I'll just stick to training. [wink wink]

Till we meet again! Assalamualaikum..

Good bye, My Friend.. You will be Remembered!

2009-10-15T17:44:00.000-07:00

It was noon when I realized that I have one unread sms. After a couple of sleepless nights, it took me quite a while to comprehend.. A friend of mine when I was teaching in Setapak Indah passed away. I called some friends to find out what time was the funeral. Nobody answered the phone. I guess it was a bit too late..

Even if I knew earlier, I couldn't have gone there myself, with the baby and my other son around. I couldn't possibly drive with the baby and the car seat which has not been installed. When I finally received a friend's call about 45 mins later, they were on the way to the cemetery.

I could still remember seeing her for the first time during Monday school assembly. The students 'oohhed' her when the principal introduced. Right after the assembly, we greeted her, welcoming the new member of the English Panel. I asked her whether she knew why the students greeted that way.. She sheepishly shook her head.. I told her it was her groovy polaroid spectacles against the sun! "Ooohh".

I remember being with her at the library, talking my heart out about me quitting my job and complaints about the workload I received .. and I certainly remember how she was eager to plan the 'Info Hunt' for her librarians.. She was more than happy to help me during Scavenger Hunt at the hall. When I got my transfer, she gave me a 'Tiger's Eye' pendant.

Of course the thing that I remember most about her is the fact that she called herself "A Ticking Bomb". She had high blood pressure.. but what is most critical about her blood pressure is hers can go really high without any symptom at all. No dizziness, no headache, no nothing! Yet, she didn't seem to worry about it. It was almost like she was joking. That was in 2004.

Her death makes me think and ponder whether or not I am fully prepared to embrace death. I really want to be a good muslim, but then most of the time, I'm busier making life here as comfortable as I can, and tend to forget my responsibilities as a Muslim. Often I wonder, whether my kids are taught enough about praying, fasting and aurat as well as other important elements in case I die. What about the sins we do towards others. What about repentance or taubat? Aine was only 34.. and my friends told me she went to school the days before like any other day.. and that made everyone really shocked.. you will be remembered Aine.. in my heart..

Stressed Out! I guess...

2009-10-11T20:25:00.000-07:00

I think I'm a little stressed out. Maybe a few days with my new sleeping schedule tires me.. or perhaps there's something that's bothering me..

I watched Oprah this morning and shocked to hear that throughout America, a lot of mothers get addicted to Meth. Iniatially, they just wanted to try once but somehow got hooked up. Initially Meth made them feel alive and active. One of the mothers confessed that she wanted a cleaner house and noticed that after taking meth, she could clean up the house double time and still had all the energy.. until she found out that she needed higher dose to make her feel high and to give the same effect it had on her earlier.

Weeks later, she seemed to lose it all.. She became aggressive and could not even play mom.. And after 16 months cleared of meth, she still has the urge to use meth.

I am stressed out but not to the extend of doing anything like that. But I do notice, when I decided to declutter my house and try to be as perfect as I can, I tend to develop this constant worrying about everything. The victims are of course my kids. With the lack of sleep, and the English modules that I'm eager to finish (I'll be training next year, insyaallah.. free lance but I haven't really look for any job hehe) as well as the clutter to clear, I think I'm not being fair to myself..

Lately, I have the tendency to have all this craving of pie, tarts, cookies and cakes. The thing is the craving is not only to taste it but to bake.. So, until I bake what I crave, I get a little bit upset with it.

Perhaps it's the confinement thing that stresses me. The fact that I can't go out of the house. I'm just lucky my 4th child is at home with me together with the baby.. At least I have someone to talk to. I think once in a while all of us do get stressed.. Hopefully, I'm able to destress positively..

A Trip from the Hospital (1-month check up), Congrats Baby Muhammad!

2009-10-05T00:41:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah.. after my 1-month check up with my gynae, we went straight to see the baby's doc. While waiting for my turn at the gynae's clinic, Muhammad had fed and filled up his diaper.. (he really thought it's a sovenir for his doctor). Carefully keeping the angpow Muhammad received for raya (yes! it was my doctor who delivered him who gave him the angpow, I wish I can tell you the name.. hehe), we went straight to the washroom to change..

We were the first patient.. I was even jovial than baby Muhammad when the doctor congratulated him for fully breastfeeding for the whole month (okay okay.. not fully fully.. I think the nurse managed to give him 3 feeds argggh!). He actually said "Tak ramai baby yang cerdik nak menyusu.. ada yang ilmu tak cukup, sebulan, susu dah kering..).

He gave us a few tips on breastfeeding as well as nappy rash

#1 Make sure you empty each breast by letting him feed for at least 30 minutes, if you keep on switching breasts whenever he cries, he will still feel hungry as he is feeding on the foremilk (which quench the thirst) from both breasts. It's the hind milk that gives him the fat he needs)..

#2 Since Muhammad's skin seems to be a bit sensitive, he suggests changing the diapers often or change to napkin. He did mention some parents buy really expensive diapers and avoid changing it often.. to save... hehe. Despite tonnes of diapers advertisement which promote their good ventilation.. he suggests buying the cheaper ones but change often.. This is my second brand.. and I notice that his rashes seems to be near the guard..

I do change the diaper quite often but I have to admit.. whenever he is a bit tired or colicky, I tend to let him sleep because the minute I change the diaper, he will wake up and I have to put him back to sleep and it's like a never ending story.. Bad mummy!

My sis-in-law came yesterday and suggested using 'tepung ubi' (tapioca flour), and the next morning, I could see the rashes not as angry as the night before.. maybe I should but (should have asked her some of hers so I can start immediately). In fact, I did use tapioca flour when I had my first son.. as suggested by my sister.. but totally forgotten about it!

Before we went out of the doctor's room, we were told that he weighs 4.00kg.. wow! he was born 2.5kg.. That's 1.5kg-weight-gain.. so.. who says breastmilk is not enough? anyone?

Congratulation Baby Muhammad.. I really enjoy your company during this confinement and the best part is, when you gain 1.5kg, I lost more kgs in producing the milk plus the fact that the womb contracts to be back to it's size every time you feed. Alhamdulillah.. Allah knows best!

Baby Universal Language according to Priscilla Dunstan

2009-10-01T19:34:00.000-07:00

Watching Oprah for half an hour the other day helps me dealing with my baby. Amazing as it sounds, it's even more amazing when you practice it in real life. According to Priscilla Dunstan, babies have been trying to communicate with us with the only means of communication they have.. crying.. and believe it, IT WORKS! Don't get too excited though, if you don't react to these cry.. the sound of cries will definitely change. Trust me...

I remember having my first newborn during one night when he really cried the whole night. We tried almost everything to make him stop not knowing what actually bothered him from changing the diapers, rocking him back and forth, passing him to my husband again and again, asking / whispering anxiously. The next day, I read up my baby book and found out that everything we did made him stressed even more. Despite the number of kids I have now, I have never knew about this and how I wish I knew sooner... but it might not be too late for you!

According to Priscilla (she has photographic hearing), there are 5 distinguished sounds baby make and these cries really work wonders in making mommies understand what their babies want. Here they are..

1. 'Neh' - I'm hungry.. feed me..

This sound is produced because of the sucking reflex baby has. When a baby sucks, he will put his tongue to the palate causing them to produce the 'neh' sound.

My Own Reflection:
I only heard this sound only once.. This is because, I notice that baby Muhammad makes this tiny soft squeek when he wants to feed and I quickly react to this immediately until one day I was too busy and quite far from him, I didn't realize until he cried the 'Neh' sound really loud I was shocked! he he..

2. 'Owh' - I'm sleepy..

I bet you can guess.. the fact that when baby gets sleepy, he yawns and tends to produce this cry.. This is because he cries with his lips shaped like an "o"..

My Own Reflection:
I never really heard this sound.. to be honest with you. I guess baby Muhammad feeds all the time and dozes off as he feeds.. So, he never really needs to tell me that..

3. 'Heh' - Change Me

This cry shows discomfort. Check his diapers or sometimes he's just cold..

My Own Reflection:
Baby Muhammad always make the 'heh' 'heh' 'heh' sound.. and if I don't change his diapers fast.. he'll start a very looonnggg 'hhheeeeeeehhhh' sound. When I hear this sound, I quickly check his diapers, it's either wet or filled with stool that makes him feel unconfortable. Baby Muhammad feeds totally on breastmilk, so he needs to be changed quite often as breastmilk is easily digested.

If the diaper is okay, I'll check his hands and feet if they are cold and I wrap him in a blanket (swaddle- bedung la tu)

4. 'Eh' - Burp me

This cry is from the baby trying to burp himself and it's normally higher pitched because it comes from the chest.. Just put him on your chest and try to burp him..

My Own Reflection:
I do notice that this sound is produced while he looks uncomfortable.. I notice that baby Muhammad tends to be more restless compared to when he makes the 'heh' sound. I normally pick him up quickly and try to put him on my shoulder.. and now I make a habit of burping him after every feeds.. I tend to hear this sound lesser and lesser when I do this..

5. 'Eairh' - Lower gas

This cry sounds like you trying to pass motion.. if you know what I mean..

My Own Reflection:
Baby Muhammad cries this sound together with the in-pain expression.. He'll just frown and his face will be reddish. He'll be squirming and kicking at the same time.. When I look at all these three things, I know exactly what to do.. I'll rub eucalyptus oil (minyak kayu putih) on his tummy.. pick him up, put him on my cheat and rub his back..

You might want to read Dunstan System pdf booklet to understand better..go to the link below.. and you can really hear the sound if you go to the youtube link.

http://www.dunstanbaby.com/cms/uploads/dunstan/ComprehensiveBooklet.pdf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IRQc2hOiKE

Theme Song Jejak Rasul 15

2009-10-01T00:42:00.000-07:00

Asma Allah
by Sami Yusuf
Lyric by Bara Kherigi

Please listen to this song! Semoga Allah bukakan pintu rahmatNya kepada kita.. Amin

Raheem, Kareemun, 'Adheem, 'Aleemun, Haleem, Hakeemun, Mateen
(Merciful, Generous, Incomparably Great, All-KnowingForbearing, Wise, Firm)

Mannaan, Rahmaanun, Fattaah, GhaffaarunTawwaab, Razzaaqun, Shaheed
(Bestower of blessings, Most Compassionate, Opener, ForgiverAccepter of Repentance, Provider, Witness)

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad, wa aali MuhammadYa Muslimeen sallou 'alayh
(O my Lord send salutations upon MuhammadAnd upon the Family of MuhammadO Muslims, send salutations upon him)

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad, wa sahbi MuhammadYa Mu'mineen sallou 'alayh
(O my Lord send salutations upon MuhammadAnd upon the Companions of MuhammadO believers, send salutations upon him)

Lateef, Khabeerun, Samee', BaseerunJaleel, Raqeebun, Mujeeb
(Gentle, All-Aware, All-Hearing, All-SeeingMajestic, Watchful, Responsive)

Ghafur, Shakourun, Wadud, Qayyumun Ra'uf, Saburun, Majeed
(Forgiving, Appreciative, Loving, Self-Existing by Whom all subsistMost Kind, Patient, Most Glorious)

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad, wa aali MuhammadYa Muslimeen sallou 'alayh
(O my Lord send salutations upon MuhammadAnd upon the Family of MuhammadO Muslims, send salutations upon him)

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad, wa sahbi MuhammadYa Mu'mineen sallou 'alayh
(O my Lord send salutations upon MuhammadAnd upon the Companions of MuhammadO believers, send salutations upon him)

Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, La Ilaaha Illahu, Al Malikul Quddoos
(God is Greater, God is GreaterThere is no god but Him, the King, the Most Holy)

Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Ya Rahmanu irham dha'fana
(O Most Compassionate! Have compassion on our weakness)

Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Ya Ghaffaaru ighfir thunoubana
(O Forgiver! Forgive our sins)

Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Ya Sattaaru ostour 'ouyoubana
(O Concealer! Conceal our defects)

Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Ya Mu'izzu a'izza ummatana
(O Bestower of honour! Bestow honour on our Ummah)

Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Ya Mujeebu ajib du�aa'ana
(O Responsive One! Answer our prayers)

Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar,Ya Lateefu oltof binaa (x3)
(O Gentle One! Show gentleness to us)Oltof binaa(Show gentleness to us)

Still Learning to be a Mom..

2009-09-28T19:22:00.000-07:00

That's what they say.. Teacheable two, terrible three... and I agree.. totally..

Last weekend, a relative of my husband came over.. and that was when I realized something has to be done before it's too late! At the beginning, my son was playing a good host with his second cousin.. until I asked him to share his cars.. (if only I didn't ask him to bring down his cars but then, that made me realize how big the problem is.. hehe). I was very much convinced that he was really good at sharing.. because before that he was sharing his puzzle, toys and stuff from the basket.

He was trying to attach his 'hotwheel' to make a complete track when the 1-year-old boy tried to join.. I was busy chatting to even pay attention to him. I didn't even realize he took down the 'hotwheel', if I knew, I would have asked him to keep it upstairs because it takes space! The last thing I know, he was screaming to the boy and cried.. then, I was the next target.. and he knows I don't normally scold my kids in front of guests.. Aha! Smart boy.. He needed to test his theory and he did in in front of a line of spectators...

Our Rule
#1 Anything can't be shared will be confiscated!
(Disebabkan ayahanda marah, harta ayahanda akan dirampas seluruhnya!)

Everyone in this house knows perfectly well of this.. so, my boy was screaming his heart out trying to abolish this rule.. I could see my cousin pretending to read the recipe book (I bet she read the same ingredients again and again without really capturing the words.. he he) and I really didn't want to give in. This is a test, remember..

Their rule:
#2 Don't even think of testing the rules in front of Big Daddy... you'll never win..

The "test" went on with a lot of staring.. crying.. (I was crying inside of course, trying to hide my embarrassment) foot stumping.. wailing.. sobbing.. but I still insisted not to give back his toys.. He will think that all those action will win whatever toys confiscated... Alang-alang malu.. biarlah malu terus.. After all, my cousin has 4 kids.. I bet she has gone through this.. The thing is .. my auntie was there too.. but I really salute her because she didn't even interfere like grannies always do..

This was hard.. I kept glancing at the clock.. my husband still hasn't come back from Friday prayers.. Then, it was time for my test.. "Eh, Nurul, abah dah balik ke?" I asked my daughter.. There was a pause in his crying and he even stopped crying at least until he found out that my husband was not home..

At this point.. after a few painstaking minutes, my husband did come back... I was jumping up and down (in my mind!) That shows how in control I am when it comes to my kids.. [sigh] but then, I really don't like punishing or even scolding my kids in front of people..

Still their rule
#3 Act nice in front of Big Daddy
I know instantly.. this test is over the minute the sound of my husband's car was heard.. He was in his normal behaviour pretending like nothing happened.. My auntie said "Dah penat nangis agaknya".. I smiled "Taklah.." then I pointed at my husband.. "oooooh"..

My other cousin asked me.. "Selalu macam ni ke?" and I guess you know the answer "tak langsung, saja test la tu..."

Suddenly my memory flashed back my very first child, wailing at the supermarket years ago.. in attempt to get what he wanted.. What I did was move a few feet away to let him take the embarrasment alone.. At the end of the day, he was embarrassed, he didn't even get the things that he wanted, the shopping trip was cancelled.. we went home immediately and he was scolded in the car! That comes to my next rule..

Our rule
#4 Never give in no matter how embarrass you are.. if you intend to win the next few battles..

Believe me.. once they know they can control you.. they will control you.. It's really easy to bribe or give them what they want when they are still young as cheap toys can free you.. but imagine 10-15 years from now..

My rule.. pleeeassse don't follow the first part of the rule : (
#5 After you have finished blabbering when the guests are gone, don't forget to talk him out when both of you have cooled down..

It's really hard not to piss off.. I really pissed off this time.. The minute the guests were gone.. I really nagged.. blah blah blah.. I know it is not effective at all.. but then, I'm a normal human being.. I NAGGED A REALLY LONG NAG! I avoided my son for the whole day and by night I know he was really sad by me ignoring him.. and he knew he caused it.. Though we made up earlier.. shaking hands apologizing and kissing.. I held grudges. (it was bad of me, I know but then I needed some space)..

The very next day, I talked to him nicely.. telling him how upset I was when he threw tantrum.. I know this is not over yet.. but in the meantime, I'll find ways to make things better.. Isn't that part of my job as a mom? Wish me luck!

Post Natal Blues

2009-09-24T03:43:00.000-07:00

After almost 20 days, I give up on staying at home. I really am a people person.. being confined in my home is killing me.. The kids are really bored I know, but they make the best out of everything.. with the PC being banned for them (they fought over it!), and the remote control in my hand most of the time.. they really need a break..

So, yesterday, all of us went for a car ride.. around town. Of course there was no jam yet! Most of the shops are open.. even Czip Lee was open.. I was really tempted to ask my husband to stop.. but then knowing much too well that I can be tempted by anything.. I went into the car with sarong.. so there's no way I could stop anywhere.. he he

The air-con was really cooperative.. it went down.. so.. I managed to burn a lot of calorie in the 1-hour-sauna in the car.. My sarong was wet and my allergy caused by the c-section plaster keep me occupied for the rest of the day.. scratching.. ha ha ha..

Though it's a privilege for most women to have their confinement.. I think I'm gonna go crazy soon.. Confinement after a caesarean section is basically not a confinement at all.. I can't "bertungku" or have regular massage.. and movement has to be restricted. God knows what really happens under the skin..

Really hope I can be as positive as I can.. I have no choice! At least I have the feeding to keep me occupied.. I'm good at it! Spoiling my kids.. giving all sorts of excuses to carry Muhammad.. Now he's crying! he he.. Chiow!

Selamat Hari Raya!

2009-09-20T00:04:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah.. this is the very first time celebrating raya at our own place.. All this while, we have been celebrating at my husband's and my 'kampung' alternately. So this year, my second attempt to make my own 'rendang' somehow works! This time, I quickly jot down the recipe! (the first attempt was a success as well but then I really could not remember which recipe I used! [sigh]).. Azly actually queued for almost an hour yesterday to buy 'lomang' to eat with my rendang.. Of course I only eat the 'rendang' with nasi impit.. using a friend of mine tips on using our own plastic.. he he he.. of course everyone else prefer 'lemang' sob sob...

I think my phone bill is gonna plummet this month.. been calling friends, family to wish them raya. I didn't manage to make any cookies this year.. luckily a friend of mine came with 3 big packets of 'kerepek' (all almost gone), my mom gave us 'maruku' (which is finished even before raya even near).. and I bought 3 packet of my favourite "batang buruk" which will have to wait for me to finish it after confinement..

My husband and the boys (except for little Muhammad) all went to Surau for raya prayers.. surrounded by almost 300 bangladeshis.. of course their takbir is different which gives them a different feeling from our raya at 'kampung'..

My parents came this morning with my youngest sister.. all packed with food and goodies.. Not that I didn't want to go to house.. but my flabby tummy keeps on pressuring the stiches that I dare not stay too long in the car..

I think that's it for now... Have a very safe raya! Stay away from fire crackers and please please please recite doa before you hit the road.. Accidents have been reported every day since 3 days before raya.. and you DON'T want to be part of the statistics!

Tips Melatih Anak Puasa

2009-09-17T00:33:00.000-07:00

Masa menunggu di hospital masa check-up, risau tengok budak-budak asyik makan snack.. Yelah.. makan biskut dan coklat.. Masa di Tesco hari tu pun sama.. tengok budak-budak selamba je makan chips. Orang jual ice-cream pun syok dok standby tepi mini playground... tapi belumlah nampak orang makan ice-cream lagi.

Ada yang bertanya bagaimana nina melatih anak berpuasa.. Haziq, masa 4 tahun dah puasa penuh.. thanks to his teachers who have been supportive.. Irfan pun sebenarnya tengah belajar puasa.. Bukan belajar puasa as in puasa tetapi dia sedang berlatih memahami konsep puasa..

Let me just share with you how we did it! Sebenarnya.. bila dah faham, mereka sendiri yang mahu berpuasa.. Sebenarnya memang tak sampai hati nak tengok mereka berlapar tapi lama-lama mereka biasa..

Here are the tips:

#1 Tanamkan azam berpuasa sebelum Ramadhan tiba
Jangan tunggu bila bulan puasa baru nak ajar.. Beberapa bulan sebelum puasa dah ada countdown.. menunggu-nunggu ketibaan Ramadhan.. Ceritakan tentang pahala berpuasa dan rahmat yang Allah sediakan semasa bulan puasa.. Pasang lampu lip lap menyambut puasa, bukan menyambut raya!

#2 Kejutkan anak bangun sahur
Irfan (3 tahun masa artikel ni ditulis) hari pertama memang bangun sahur.. Hari kedua dan ketiga dia geleng kepala tak nak. Tapi sebelum tidur.. memang cakap dengan dia.. pujuk dia bangun sahur.. Hari keempat sampai sekarang memang dia tak pernah miss sahur.. siap bertambah-tambah nasi!

#3 Beri salam dan 'cheer' kerana bangun sahur
Selalunya bila mereka bangun sahur, nina akan bagi salam setiap seorang yang bangun sahur. Semua orang cheer irfan (wah! irfan bangun sahur! siap tepuk-tepuk lagi!)sebab dia yang baru belajar bangun sahur. Jadi dia suka!

#4 Baca doa masa sahur..
Kami memang baca doa makan.. dan ada doa 'special' untuk sahur. "Sahaja aku makan sahur untuk menghilangkan lapar dan dahaga di bulan puasa kerana Allah Ta'ala". Jadi dah ada mind set..dah sahur, insyaallah tak lapar masa puasa nanti dan yang ini, memang Allah bantu, cubalah!

#5 Makanan biar simple, janji anak suka..
Nasi memang masak pagi, jadi anak-anak makan nasi panas.. Paling mereka suka telur dadar dengan bawang.. Sambil tu, anak-anak makan roti bakar, Koko Krunch dan apa jugak yang mereka suka!

#6 Buka dan sahur dengan kurma
Kami buka dengan kurma, sembahyang, baru makan nasi. Selalu jugak kami cairkan coklat dan makan kurma dengan choc panas. Cairkan coklat 340w (medium) dalam 15 saat. Celup masa coklat panas-panas. Lajulah makan kurma.. Berkat!

#7 Kalau tak puasa, makan bila lapar dan kena menyorok.
Since Irfan sahaja yang tak puasa (3 tahun) dia kena makan bila dia lapar. Dia hanya boleh makan roti sahaja (roti bakar tak boleh.. sebab baunya mengiurkan)..Makan pulak sorang-sorang dalam bilik.. dan tak boleh keluar kecuali bila mulut dah kosong

Sounds evil, kan? tapi memang dia dah faham.. bila bulan puasa, hanya boleh alas perut dan tak boleh makan sedap di siang hari! Sweets and snack are out of the question! Dia pernah mintak.. tapi dia terus cakap "opps! takde takde"!

Sebenarnya tak marah pun.. tapi terangkan dengan baik kat dia.. kesian orang semua puasa.. kalau makan depan orang puasa, nanti orang jadi lapar... dia akan faham

#8 Sogokkan dengan cerita-cerita syurga, bidadari, sungai susu yang mengalir di syurga dan pahala yang Allah beri jika berpuasa..
Pernah sekali Haziq (6 tahun) tak tahan bau peanut butter adik dia makan.. jadi dia nak buka puasa.. Terpaksa sogok dengan bidadari yang memakai kain 70 lapis sedang menunggunya di syurga, tersenyum Haziq mengingatkan bidadarinya.. terus lupa tentang nak buka puasa.

#9 Jangan bagi upah duit untuk hari dia berpuasa
Anak ada yang bercerita dengan nina, kawan-kawan ramai yang dapat duit. Nina cakap, "lebih dari itu pun ibu boleh bagi, kalau ikutkan duit belanja yang dapat tu pun lebih dari seringgit sehari". Terangkan kenapa kita perlu puasa.. terangkan jika bagi duit mereka akan berpuasa kerana duit. Sebenarnya kita berpuasa sebab mahukan keredhaan Allah..

Mereka bukanlah terlalu muda untuk memahami.. sebenarnya mereka lebih senang untuk memahami kerana mereka belum pandai "argue".

#10 Tangisi pemergian Ramadhan
Kira puasa tinggal berapa hari untuk merintih tentang kehilangan Ramadhan.. Ceritakan tentang kemungkinan ini Ramadhan yang terakhir.. Ceritakan juga bagaimana roh-roh yang sudah mati merayu-rayu kepada Allah untuk dikembalikan ke dunia walaupun sekadar sesaat cuma untuk menyebut Subhanallah.. untuk menambah timbangan pahala..

Insyaallah.. kanak-kanak sebenarnya memang ada naluri untuk berpuasa.. Tugas kita hanya untuk memberi ruang kepada mereka dan galakan agar mereka boleh dan gembira berpuasa...

Tugas kita pula sebagai ibu-bapa, perlu beri ruang untuk puasa dan beri galakan. Ada jugak kawan-kawan anak mengadu.. "aku tension betul, aku nak puasa sebenarnya tapi mak aku suruh bukak, takut tak tahan". Cubalah.. tidak ada umur yang terlalu awal untuk melatih puasa. Cuma, bila latih masa umur 3-4 tahun, kalau mereka nak buka puasa.. jangan marah.. Yang penting, mereka faham konsep puasa dan kenapa kena puasa.. Good Luck! Semoga kita sama-sama mendapat keredhaanNya.. Amiin

Kesian Baby Muhammad kena 'thrush'

2009-09-15T00:18:00.000-07:00

Baru balik hospital siang tadi dan baru bangun tidur.. Baby Muhammad baru lepas menyusu dan sedang lena tidur. Semalam pukul 2 pagi dia terjaga.. dan tak tidur sampai pagi..

Agaknya perut kembung sebab dia kurang menyusu. Teruk jugak 'thrush' dia.. Penuh sampai ke pipi.. rupanya ubat yang dipakai untuk ulcer bukan untuk 'thrush', patutlah tak berkurang.

Yang ibu dia pun bijak, pergi cuci dengan kain dan air suam.. It gets worse as it makes the mouth sore.. dah baca dah dalam buku baby tapi bila orang suruh tu, pergi ikut pulak..

What to do when you get thrush?

Go to the clinic immediately.. before it gets worse.. it's actually a fungal infection.. and it can be transfered to your nipple if you don't treat it. (Ni nipple tengah sore lah ni).. The doctor will give you oral drop..

Anak yang lain tak pernah pulak kena.. rupanya kalau mak masa mengandung kena keputihan, boleh kena. Doktor tanya tadi.. ada kena keputihan ke masa mengandung.. sebenarnya, tak pulak kena..

Bila baca kat net, mak yang makan antibiotik, anak boleh kena and it is very common for mothers who have cesarean birth to be given antibiotic.

Kesian tengok baby muhammad.. ubat dia pahit kot sebab dia tengah tidur pun terus terjaga, sampai nak termuntah-muntah. Lepas tu air liur jadi pekat.. terkulat-terkulat muka dia.. menangis tak berhenti... jadi sekarang ni dia baru lepas menyusu.. menyusu pun kena certain angle.. bukan macam biasa...

Tidur ya sayang.. nanti ibu kejut bagi susu.. nanti kembung pulak...

Lengkap Sangat Doa ni! Bacalah Walau Sekali (Copy, save n Print!)

2009-09-12T22:38:00.000-07:00

DOA YANG TELAH DISAMPAIKAN OLEH USTAZ HJ. MUHAMAD MUSTAFA DARI AKADEMI ISLAM KOTA BHARU KELANTAN DI MASJID ABU BAKAR ASSIDDIQ BANGSAR KUALA LUMPUR PADA 1.12.88

Bismillaa hirrahmaa nirrahim..

Alhamdulillaa hi rabbibbil 'aalamiin wassholaatu wassalaamu 'ala asyrafil ambiyaa i wal mursaliina wa 'aka aalihi qa shohbihi ajma'iin..

Ya Allah Ya Tuhan kami, ampunkanlah dosa kami dan maaflah kesilapan kami zahir dan batin.

Ya Allah, ampunilah dosa kedua ibu bapa kami, dosa keluarga kami, dosa masyarakat kami dan dosa keseluruh umat Islam yang telah mati yang yang masih hidup.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, kami pohonkan apa yang telah dipohonkan oleh Rasulullah SAW dan kami meminta pertolongan dari apa yang pernah diminta pertolongan oleh Rasulullah SAW.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, kami pohonkan syurga tanpa hisab dan berilah kekuatan, taufik dan hidayah kepada kami supaya kami dapat melakukan sebab-sebab yang membawa kami ke arahnya, selamatkan kami Ya Allah dari sebab- sebab yang membawa kami ke neraka.

La Hau la wa laa quwwata illaa billaa hil 'aliyyul 'azdim

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, Engkau sahajalah yang mengetahui kelemahan diri kami zahir dan batin, berilah kekuatan, taufik dan hidayah kepada kami supaya kami dapat memperbaiki diri kami, tambahkanlah ya Allah kepada kami ilmu, iman dan amal; hidupkanlah kami dalam Islam dan matikanlah kami dalam Islam.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, kami pohonkan kepada Engkau Iman yang sempurna, Ilmu yang memberi manfaat, Rezeki yang halal, Anak yang soleh, Rumahtangga yang bahagia, Usia yang berkat, Doa yang mustajab, Hajat yang tertunai, Kesihatan yang berterusan, Hutang yang terbayar, keselamatan di dunia ini dan di akhirat nanti.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, Engkau sahajalah yang mengetahui segala yang berlaku di hati kami, hidupkan hati in dan sampaikanlah hati ini kepada Engkau, sembuhkanlah segala penyakit yang berada di hati kami, selamatkanlah hati kami dari sufat-sifat yang keji dan jauhi kami dari perkara-perkara yang boleh mematikan hati kami.

La Hau la wa laa quwwata illaa billaa hil 'aliyyul 'azdim

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, jadikanlah hati kami hati yang sentiasa menyedari akan hakikat Ketuhanan dan Kerajaan Engkau dan masa depan kami di akhirat nanti.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, jadikanlah kami ini hambaMu yang mengabdi diri kepada Engkau dengan sebaik-baiknya; berilah kekuatan, taufik dan hidayah kepada kami, supaya dapat kami lakukan segala yang diperintah oleh Engkau dan meninggalkan segala apa yang dilarang oleh Engkau.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, jadikanlah hati kami ini hati yang sentiasa menyedari masa depan kami di akhirat nanti dan jadikanlah kami hamba Mu yang sentiasa bersedia untuk menghadapi masa depan kami selepas mati.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, hidupkanlah kami dalam Iman dan matikanlah kami dalam Iman, selamatkanlah Iman kami dari segala gangguan syaitan semasa kami menghembus nafas yang terakhir.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, selamatkanlah kami semasa berada di dalam kubur, jadilkanlah kubur kami salah satu taman dari taman syurga, selamatkanlah kami dari segala angkara azab kubur dan jangan Engkau jadikan kubur kami itu salah satu lubang dari lubang-lubang neraka.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, selamatkanlah hati kami semasa dalam perjalanan menuju Mahsyar dan masukkan kai ke dalam tujuh golongan orang yang mendapat bayangan naugan Arasy Engkau.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, ampunkanlah dosa kami dan maafkan kesilapan kami zahir dan batin semasa kami dijalankan hisab, hisabkanlah kami ya Allah dengan hisab yang sedikit, berilah peluang kepada kami untuk mendapat syafaat nabi kami Nabi Muhammad SAW.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, jadikanlah hamba Mu ini hamba yang berjaya dalam hidup ini dan berjaya menerima suratan amal dengan tangan kanan.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, berilah kesempatan kepada kami meminum kolam Nabi kami Al Kauthar; selamatkanlah kami semasa menyeberangi titian Siratulmustaqim.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, masukkanlah kami ke dalam syurga Engkau bersama-sama dengan orang yang memasuki ke dalamnya.

La Hau la wa laa quwwata illaa billaa hil 'aliyyul 'azdim

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, perkenankanlah permohonan kami ini, mustajabkanlah doa kami ini dengan berkat nabi kami Nabi Muhammad SAW dan dengan berkat amalan kami yang paling ikhlas.

Robbanaa aaatina fiddun ya hasanah wa fil aakhiroti hasanah waqinaa 'azaabannar.

Subhaana robbika robbil 'izzati 'amma ya shifoon wa salaamu 'ala'

DIPETIK DR "AMALAN SEPANJANG HAYAT'
walhamdulillaa hi robbil 'alamiin..

Lailatul Qadar

2009-09-11T01:53:00.001-07:00

Sambil tersengguk-sengguk sebab mengantuk lepas sahur, terdengar ustaz bercerita tentang keistimewaan Lailatul Qadar. Yang penting ialah kita berharap dan bangun malam, berdoa agar diampunkan dosa kita. Kata ustaz lagi, Imam Ghazali ada menyebut, jika puasa bermula pada hari sabtu, Lailatul Qadar akan jatuh pada malam 23. Malam ni lah tu.. Kalaulah dapat, malam yang lebih baik dari 1000 bulan, 83 tahun tu.... Kita pun belum tentu hidup selama itu.. apatah lagi nak beribadah terus menerus selama 83 tahun.

Malu jugak bila Ustaz Zamri guna metafor.. Katakan ada satu sahaja supermarket yang buka, supermarket tu dihiasi dengan lampu yang terang-menderang, jalan nak ke supermarket tu pun diterangi dengan lampu seterang-terangnya, sale sampai berapa percent, kedai lain tutup pulak tu.. tapi kita tidak terpanggil untuk pergi.. kan rugi..

Macam tu jugak dengan ramadhan.. Allah permudahkan jalan ke syurga, diberi pahala berganda-ganda, dan diberi satu malam yang sungguh istimewa tapi kalau kita tidak terpanggil untuk beramal, maknanya kata ustaz lagi, kita tidak berminat untuk ke syurga.

Ouch.. sambil tersenyum je ustaz tu bercerita tapi terasa..

Kata ustaz lagi, Lailatul Qadar bermula selepas maghrib sehingga ke subuh hari berikutnya. Apabila berlakunya Lailatul Qadar, malam akan jadi tenang, matahari pada hari berikutnya bewarna pudar sahaja. Siapa yang mendapat Lailatul Qadar yang ternampak perubahan pada dirinya. Ada yang bertanya apa yang patut dilakukan apabila mendapat Lailatul Qadar.. Rasulullah pernah mengajar Saidatina A'isyah doa ini..

Allahumma innaka 'affuwwun tuhibbul 'afwa fa'fu 'anni

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Pemaaf dan suka memaafkan, maka maafkanlah aku.

Kalau tak tahu bahasa arabnya, minta saja ampun dengan Allah.. dengan harapan, Allah mengampunkan kesemua dosa kita.

Antara amalan yang boleh dilakukan apabila qiamullail adalah:-

1. Solat Sunat Taubat 2,4,6 rakaat. (surah bebas)

Doa yang dianjurkan selepas solat sunat taubat.

Aku memohon keampunan kepada Allah yang Maha Agung. Aku mengaku bahawa tiada Tuhan melainkan Allah, Tuhan yang Hidup, yang sentiasa mengawasi. Aku memohon taubat kepadaNya sebagaimana taubatnya seorang hamba yang banya melakukan dosa, yang tiada daya dan upaya bagi dirinya untuk berbuat mudharat atau manfaat untuk mati atau hidup, mahupun bangkit semula setelah mati.

2. Solat Sunat Hajat (2/4/6..12 rakaat)

Rakaat Pertama - Al-Fatihah + Ayat kursi 7 x / Al-Kafiruun 7 x

Rakaat Kedua - Al-Fatihah + Al-Ikhlas 11 x

Doa Selepas Solat Sunat Hajat

Tiada Tuhan melainkan Alah, yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang. Maha Suci Allah, Tuhan yang menjaga Arasy yang Maha Agung. Segala puji bagi Allah, Tuhan alam semesta. KepadaMulah aku memohon sesuatu yang mewajibkan rahmatMu dan sesuatu yang mendatangkan keampunanMu dan memperolehi keuntungan pada setiap dosa. Janganlah Engkau biarkan dosa pada diriku, melainkan Engkau ampuni dan tidak ada sesuatu kepentingan melainkan Engkau tunjukkan jalan keluarm dan tidak pula sesuatu hajat yang mendapat kerelaanMu, melainkan Engkau perkenankan. Wahai Tuhan yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang. Semoga Allah memerkenankan doa ini.

Mohonlah apa yang dihajati sambil bersujud dan perbanyakkan bacaan doa Nabi Yunus,

Laa ila ha illaa anta subhaa naka inni kuntumminadzolimiin..

Tiada Tuhan melainkan Engkau ya Allah! Maha Suci Engkau, sesungguhnya aku ini dari golongan orang yang aniaya.

3. Solat Sunat Tahajjud - (2 rakaat)

Rakaat pertama - al-Fatihah + Ayat kursi 7 x

Rakaat kedua - al-Fathiah + Surah al-Ikhlas 11 x

Sujud terakhir -

Ya haiyu ya qayyum birahmatikas ta ghiithu laa ila ha illa anta 40 x
Allahumma sholli 'ala saiyidina muhammad wa 'alaa aalihi wa shohbihi wasallim 10 x
Ya ka fii Ya ghanii Ya fattaa hu Ya rozaq 33 x atau 313 x

Sekiranya mahu menambah

Laa ilaaha illallah 100 x

Doa Solat Sunat Tahajjud

Ya Allah! BagiMu segala kepujian. Engkaulah Tuhan yang menegakkan langit dan bumi, alam semesta serta segala isinya. BagimMu segala kepujian, bagiMu segala kekuasaan di langit dan di bumi, alam semesta dan segala isinya. BagiMu segala kepujian, Tuhan cahaya langit dan bumi. BagiMu segala kepujian, Engkau Tuhan yang benar dan janjiMu adalah benar. Syruga adalah benar dan neraka adalah benar dan para nabi itu adalah benar. Nabi Muhammad SAW adalah benar dan kiamat itu adalah benar. Ya Allah! KepadaMu aku berserah dan kepadaMu aku berhukum. Ampunilah aku atas kesalahan yang telah aku lakukan dan kesalahan yang sebelumnya. Sama ada kesalahan itu, kesalahan yang terang mahupun yang tersembunyi. Sesungguhnya Engkaulah yang terdahulu dan Engkaulah yang terakhir. Tiada Tuhan melainkan Engkau. Tiada daya dan kekuatan melainkan dengan Allah.

Akhir sekali banyakkan beristighfar.

Ada yang bertanya, bagaimana pula wanita yang haidh dan nifas. Ustaz kata lagi cukuplah sekadar berzikir dan beristighfar.. Allah itu kan Maha Adil!

Semoga kita mendapat Lailatul Qadar... Semoga kita diberi kekuatan dan semangat untuk melakukan ibadah.. Paling-paling pun.. lakukanlah solat tarawikh, solat sunat yang memang boleh dilakukan selepas tarawih (kecuali tahajjud - kena tidur dulu!). Dan yang paling mudah sekali, bangun sahur, masak nasi, dan sementara menunggu nasi masak, sembahyanglah sunat taubat memohon keampunan Allah.

Solat-solat dipetik dari:
Amalan Sepanjang Hayat - Ustaz Ismail Kamus
Bimbingan Penghayatan & Kesempurnaan Solat - Ustaz Johari Yaman, Penerbitan Nadi Minda.

English-english Online Dictionary with Pronunciation

2009-09-11T01:41:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum..

I always forget to tell my friends about this online dictionary.. It's really helpful when updating my blog as you can just make sure whether you are using the right word. The good thing is you can listen to the pronunciation as well.. Try it!

http://www.merriam-webster.com/

Kunjungan Orang Istimewa

2009-09-09T22:22:00.000-07:00

Hari ni mendapat kunjungan rakan-rakan yang begitu istimewa sekali.. Sebenarnya inilah ahli-ahli 'GBS-'geng bas sekolah' yang begitu setia menceriakan pagi-pagi selepas menghantar anak ke sekolah. Alhamdulillah.. sampai juga rakan-rakan meraikan orang baru. Terasa hilang rindu setelah cuti sekian lama.

Bukan setakat datang kosong, sambil bersembang, ada artikel yang dibawa, beserta Hiraq Karmila dan Hiraq Gamat yang dipesan dari tauke Hiraq. (Kalau nak order, boleh contact Shiela ya!)

"Hiraq Karmila dan Hiraq Gamat - khusus untuk wanita"

Of course I just love the company, sharing tips on breastfeeding, confinement and even recipes.. Nothing is more than a bunch of good friends.. Tak terbayang jika kita di dunia ini keseorangan.
"Inspiring article as well as a book for company.. ada satu lagi buku sebenarnya! Kisah cinta Khadijah dan Nabi Muhammad"

Ini hanya sebahagian daripada ahli-ahli GBS. All used to be working mothers who had to sacrifice in the name of love. Ada juga ahli yang masih lagi bekerja. I used to get shocked when I first quit my job but then being with the rest of these supermoms makes me feel alive and look forward to being a good mom.

Memang tak dinafikan.. ada juga mata yang melirik.. melihatkan kami bergumbira hampir setiap pagi sehingga jam 9 pagi. Nampak macam bual kosong tapi sebenarnya topik-topik pagi ni merangkumi berbagai-bagai topik; parenting, menu dan resipi masak, housekeeping, kuliah agama, politik dan bermacam-macam lagi.

The most important thing is the fact that we support each other in whatever field we are doing.. building up confidence and creating as much fun as we can.. You'll be surprise how we learn from each other as most of us come from different background and interest..

yang sorang penguasa restoran aka shopper aka pembayar tol jalan, sorang penguasa berdarah kelantan yang memang pandai melariskan barang jualannya!, sorang isteri yang cukup anggun yang sentiasa berada di belakang suaminya walau di mana sahaja suaminya berada, seorang lagi penulis yang sentiasa bersemangat dalam apa jua yang diminatinya.. seorang part time penjaga itik yang bekerja sepenuh masa.. dan kalau nak ditulis semua.. maka berderet-deretla berbagai-bagai pekerjaan di sini.

Till we meet again, I thank Allah for granting me the happiness in my life.. friends!

Tegur Biarlah dari Hati bukan kerana Hati

2009-09-08T20:47:00.000-07:00

Pelik je bunyi tajuk ni kan? Memang pelik.. Kadang-kadang kita ni banyak menegur orang silap itu ini. Selalunya bila kita menegur.. kita akan ambil risiko. Banyak yang akan kecil hati, ada yang sakit hati, jarang sekali orang berterima kasih pada kita walaupun pada hakikatnya bukan senang kita nak menegur orang.

Sebenarnya cara yang terbaik adalah menegur dari hati.. Bila nak menegur orang, kena tengok apa niat kita menegur tu. Adakah kerana kita dah tak tahan tengok dan sakit hati, atau pun kira rasa kalau kita tegur, orang itu akan jadi lebih baik, atau pun kita kasihan melihat orang yang kita nak tegur tu buat kesilapan atau pun kita menegur semata-mata kerana Allah.

Bukan senang nak tegur orang. Bak kata orang dulu-dulu, berhati-hati menarik rambut dari tepung, rambut tak putus, tepung tak berserak. Kalau nak tegur, biarlah mesejnya sampai, hati tak sakit, tak timbul pulak masaalah lain.

Cara yang akan menentukan segalanya. Sendiri pernah ditegur oleh anak murid saya bila saya menyebut perkataan dengan salah. Tapi saya sendiri tak perasan yang sebenarnya saya ditegur oleh anak murid sendiri! Saya tabik dia! Saya puji dia depan kelas dan saya belajar dari dia.

Kadang-kala, ada yang menegur sebab tak puas hati. Jadi untuk melegakan sakit hati, bertubi-tubi dia meluahkan perasaan sambil menegur. Akhirnya orang yang ditegur kecil hati, mesej tak kesampaian, kita sendiri pun tak tau apa yang dicakap sebab dek syok sendiri.

Ada pula yang main perli.. Lalu je orang yang nak ditegur tu, sindir sana, sindir sini. Orang yang disindir tak faham, orang yang menyindir tambah sakit hati. Sebenarnya, cara perli ni dah lapuk la. Kalau nak tegur orang, tak payahlah main sindir-sindir. Buat tambah dosa saja.

Yang paling penting, kalau menegur, biarlah kerana Allah, semata-mata kerana Allah. Bila kita menegur, biarlah dengan berhikmah. Saya teringat rakan baik saya yang menegur dalam mesyuarat guru apabila guru-guru lain tidak puas hati dengan sikap pengawas. Dia bangun dan terus berkata dengan suara yang begitu lemah-lembut, "Kita ni kalau nak tegur, biarlah dengan cara yang berhikmah, cikgu semua kena ingat pengawas ni kita tak bayar apa-apa pun, mereka ni tolong je guru-guru". Guru-guru yang 'komplen' kebanyakannya tertunduk malu.

Masa menegur juga penting.. Janganlah ambil peluang nak menegur 'ikut dan' je. Tunggulah masa yang sesuai. Kadang-kala nak menegur tu kena tangguh lama baru boleh tegur. Janganlah menegur bila kita tengah marah. Diam dulu. Bila kedua-duanya dalam mood yang baik, barulah ambil peluang menegur.

Jangan pula menegur bila orang tengah bersuka-ria. Takut-takut anti-klimax pulak. Apa-apa cerita pun, biarlah kita betulkan niat.. Sebelum kita menegur.. tengoklah dulu diri sendiri. Jangan tuding satu jari kat orang, 4 jari menuding kat diri sendiri. Insyaallah, kalau menegur ikhlas kerana Allah, semuanya akan berjalan lancar. Kalau tak boleh tegur dengan cara yang betul, biarlah kita tegur sahaja di dalam hati. Itulah selemah-lemah iman. Jangan buat 'dek' sudahlah.

Yang ditegur pula, janganlah ambil hati. Mungkin orang yang menegur tu memang ikhlas.. Ambil masa untuk ubat hati bila ditegur tapi jangan buang apa yang ditegur. Mungkin ada benarnya. Cuma kita yang susah nak terima bila ditegur.

Sebelum orang terkecil hati dengan entry saya kali ni, biarlah saya menyusun jari memohon kemaafan.. Yang baik tu dari Allah, yang tidak.. dari diri saya sendiri.. Astaghfirullah..

Allah Knows Best!

2009-09-02T22:11:00.000-07:00

I met a friend after kindy school today. Tomorrow would be the beginning of my 37th week of pregnancy which means I can be in labour anytime now! All this while.. I was hoping that I will not give birth during the fasting month.. My due would be on the 7th day of Raya. It would be really challenging to qadha' the ones that I missed.

Somehow, this friend of mine changed the whole thing.. All of a sudden, I really want to give birth during ramadhan.. Her expression melted when I told her I might give birth during ramadhan.. I didn't get it at that time.. but then..

She did mention about the baraqah of ramadhan and if I were to give birth during ramadhan.. with all the rahmah and blessing .. Alhamdulillah..

I was startled.. I told her that I have never seen it that way.. Alhamdulillah.. Allah sent me a message through a 5-minute conversation with a new friend..

I would rather qadha all the fast that I miss to get the baraqah.. but then, I will definitely be sad because I will miss the tarawih and the tadarus with my kids...

Allah knows best! and I leave everything in His Hands..

My Mu'allim - Sami Yusuf

2009-09-02T21:57:00.001-07:00

We once had a Teacher
The Teacher of teachers,
He changed the world for the better
And made us better creatures,
Oh Allah we’ve shamed ourselves
We’ve strayed from Al-Mu'allim,
Surely we’ve wronged ourselves
What will we say in front him?
Oh Mu'allim...

Chorus
He was Muhammad salla Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
Muhammad, mercy upon Mankind,
He was Muhammad salla Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
Muhammad, mercy upon Mankind,
Teacher of all Mankind.
Abal Qasim [one of the names of the Prophet]
Ya Habibi ya Muhammad
(My beloved O Muhammad)
Ya Shafi'i ya Muhammad
(My intercessor O Muhammad)
Khayru khalqillahi Muhammad
(The best of Allah’s creation is Muhammad)
Ya Mustafa ya Imamal Mursalina
(O Chosen One, O Imam of the Messengers)
Ya Mustafa ya Shafi'al 'Alamina
(O Chosen One, O intercessor of the worlds)

He prayed while others slept
While others ate he’d fast,
While they would laugh he wept
Until he breathed his last,
His only wish was for us to be
Among the ones who prosper,
Ya Mu'allim peace be upon you,
Truly you are our Teacher,
Oh Mu'allim..

Chorus
Ya Habibi ya Muhammad
(My beloved O Muhammad)
Ya Shafi'i ya Muhammad
(My intercessor O Muhammad)
Ya Rasuli ya Muhammad
(O My Messenger O Muhammad)
Ya Bashiri ya Muhammad
(O bearer of good news O Muhammad)
Ya Nadhiri ya Muhammad
(O warner O Muhammad)
'Ishqu Qalbi ya Muhammad
(The love of my heart O Muhammad)
Nuru 'Ayni ya Muhammad
(Light of my eye O Muhammad)
He taught us to be just and kind
And to feed the poor and hungry,
Help the wayfarer and the orphan child
And to not be cruel and miserly,
His speech was soft and gentle,
Like a mother stroking her child,
His mercy and compassion,
Were most radiant when he smiled

Chorus
Abal Qasim [one of the names of the Prophet]
Ya Habibi ya Muhammad
(My beloved O Muhammad)
Ya Shafi'i ya Muhammad
(My intercessor O Muhammad)
Khayru khalqillahi Muhammad
(The best of Allah’s creation is Muhammad)
Ya Mustafa Ya Imamal Mursalina
(O Chosen One O Imam of the Messengers)
Ya Mustafa ya Shafi'al 'Alamina
(O Chosen One O intercessor of the worlds)

source:http://www.lyricstime.com

Kindy Mini Sketch

2009-08-24T20:40:00.000-07:00

I started practising with the kindy kids "Heal the World", alhamdulillah, they really like the song.. some even wanted to bring back home the lyric so that they can practice at home..

I learnt the trick of teaching them english song from their teacher last year during convocation..

1. read aloud.. just to make sure they are familiar with the words
2. Let them listen to the song.. just to get them familiar with the melody
3. Practice 1 stanza at a time.. going superslow.. then, use the music to sing along..
4. continue without music with the second stanza, repeat from stanza 1, then use the music...
5. continue with the rest of the stanza.. not forgetting to move back and forth..
6. be patient!

Honestly, I don't really think I can make it to practice the sketch itself.. I'll be in my confinement.. See what happens!

Singing New Song Tips:-

#1 make sure the lyrics are printed big enough (extra large if they are not good at reading yet)
#2 you can drill the difficult words on the board before even starting to sing
#3 I use block art to write my lyric, stanza by stanza.. this way, I can always keep the lyric in case I need to use later. It also saves space compared to the manila card or mahjong paper.

Second Day of Fasting! Already?

2009-08-22T20:35:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah..can't believe I can make it this Ramadhan. Allah has granted time to celebrate fasting month.. I can never be more grateful. The kids are thrilled!

Honestly.. though I'm really eagerly waiting for ramadhan, I'm certainly anxious at the same time.. distracted with the fact that along with ramadhan comes my due for my labour.

This year, with H1N1 spreading like wildfire and most of my family are at high-risk.. me being pregnant, and children, fasting month and school holiday means quarantining ourselves at home.

Unlike 4 years back.. we were to spend on food at the bazaar in celebration of our kids who just learn fasting.. Then we realized that spending luxuriously on food does not really meet the purpose of fasting itself.

Now, I don't normally cook extra dishes for them.. not that I don't consider the fact that they are learning to fast but then, teaching them not to overeat as soon as they break fast is more important. Our dishes are simple and a constant reminder of those who remain hungry even after they break fast or those who always get hungry even during those time of non fasting month. Of course, there will be days that I'll cook a feast! But definitely not throughout the fasting month!

I remembered somebody did protested when my 4-year-old Haziq started fasting, insisting that the boy is not prepared to fast. But the truth is.. we never really forced him to fast.. He was really eager to follow the brother and sister fasting. The reward was of course not in cash.. but stories of the beauty of 'syurga' and the everflowing rivers there. He is thrilled!

Irfan, my youngest.. aged 3 is now learning to fast.. Of course he does not really fast.. but like his brothers and sister, we try to wake him up for 'sahur', and he only eats whenever he is hungry.. hidden from the rest of the family to respect the fasting month.. And we are quite flexible with his sahur.. The first day, he did not wake up for sahur, so he had his sahur as soon as he woke up..

It's never too early to start.. Starting does not really mean they have to do it.. but a mere exposure of the concept.. Forcing is not in the dictionary.. but trust me.. kids are more than ready to embrace Islam.. sometimes, I think, it is us who is just not ready.. :P

Raya.. No problem.. Isteri Kena Ikut Cakap Suami

2009-08-19T18:14:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah, bulan puasa menjelma lagi.. Masa ni lah nak cover pahala-pahala yang tak buat sepanjang tahun..

Indahnya ramadhan, semua orang berebut-rebut nak bersedekah, nak sembahyang sunat, nak baca quran..

Yang paling syoknya.. selalunya kita salahkan syaitan yang menggoda.. tapi bila bulan puasa barulah kita perasan, sebenarnya nafsu kita yang perlu dijinakkan. Tengok itu ini, semua terliur..

Sambil-sambil bersembang petang-petang, merah telinga dibuatnya.. Alhamdulillah tahun ni Allah bagi bonus sebab kalau ikut turn sebenarnya di rumah mertua tapi disebabkan due bersalin masa raya, tak berani nak travel mana-mana. Jadi disini sajalah, jadilah beraya 2 tahun berturut-turut di rumah mak sendiri. Tapi itu pun belum tentu.. terdengar desas-desus ada orang tu teringin nak beraya kat rumah sendiri. Abah pun dah sibuk tanya.. raya kat mana. Takut-takut bersalin betul-betul masa raya.. kesian jugak kat anak-anak, mesti hidangan tak seberapa.

Rupa-rupanya ada kawan yang teringat kawannya yang sentiasa merancang bersalin di waktu raya.. Bila ditanya kenapa, barulah faham.. rupanya kalau dia bersalin sahajalah ada 'can' raya pertama di rumah maknya.. Kalau tak memang kena beraya di rumah mertua..

Saya sebenarnya sakit jugak hati bila mendengar cerita tu. Teringat saya masa first beraya di rumah mertua... Memanglah dah kira keluarga sendiri.. tapi terus terang.. memang masa mula-mula kahwin, memang sedih. Teringat kat keluarga sendiri, lauk-lauk yang dah biasa kita makan dari kecil. Sedih bila mengenangkan pagi-pagi tatkala sibuk bersiap mandi sunat dan pergi ke masjid untuk sembahyang raya bersama keluarga.

Katanya kawan saya tadi.. suaminya kata.. isteri kena ikut cakap suami, rayalah kat rumah suami.. dia ada tanggungjawab pada ibu bapa dia.. Wah! Sungguh kuat pegangan islamnya.. taat pada ibu bapa.. isteri pulak kenalah faham.. kan suami kena taat pada ibu-bapa?

Kalaulah semua suami macam ini.. taat pada agama.. memang aman dunia ni.. Taklah suami pakai duit gaji isteri, mesti suami carikan pembantu untuk buat-buat kerja rumah.. kerana tugas isteri sebenarnya melayan suami. Mesti rumah dan semua keperluan dibayar penuh oleh suami..

Kalau ikut macam rasulullah pulak, mesti sang suami jahit baju sendiri, suapkan isteri makan, tolong kerja rumah dan beromantik dengan isteri. Cakap dengan isteri pun lemah lembut sahaja. Takkan pernah memerintah isteri buat itu ini. Rasulullah siap bawa orang main pedang lagi di depan rumahnya untuk menghiburkan Saidatina A'isyah, semasa baginda bermain lumba lari dengan A'isyah pun, dia bagi A'isyah menang untuk menghiburkan hati A'syah..

Islam ni memang cantik sebenarnya.. kalau isteri kena taat pada ibu bapa sama macam suami.. pakat-pakat semualah raya kat rumah masing-masing. Tapi Allah maha Mengetahui, isteri kena taat suami.. selesailah masaalah..

Apa yang kebanyakan para suami lupa ialah mereka pun ada anak perempuan. Satu hari nanti "history repeats itself"! Mesti sedih kalau anak mereka tiap-tiap tahun di rumah suami. Tapi pada masa tu.. apa nak jawab.. mereka lebih faham.. ataupun mereka tidak ada pilihan.. telan sajalah.. Apa jadi ya? kalau mereka ada 6 anak dan kesemuanya perempuan?

Teringat saya seorang isteri mengeluh pada ustaz.. "tak adillah macam ni ustaz.." Ustaz kata "Siapa kata adil? Kat dunia ni memanglah nampak macam tak adil.. tapi pahala yang kita tak nampak tu memang lebih dari adil." Jadi, bagi para isteri.. katanya memang senang nak masuk syurga.. tutup aurat dan taat pada suami.. teori mudah kan? Praktikalnya.. kenalah kita sama-sama timba ilmu...

Bored to Death that I Started Cleaning up!

2009-08-12T02:37:00.000-07:00

It has been weeks since I last updated my blog.. Been trying to clean up the clutter that I myself collected. Been trying to complete the housechores that I procrastinated. I actually rewarded myself with RM1 for each of the task that I finished. Teruk betul! I managed to get RM18 that day.. I managed to iron the kids' uniform, azly's office attire, arranging my book shelves, clearing almost every eyesore in the hall.. Honestly, I deserved more than RM18.. It's not the money actually.. It's the fact that I'm trying to motivate myself to do the chores. Not a big fan of house cleaning.. and everyone knows that..

I promised myself I'll just spend it myself to treat myself.. be it chocolate, a cone of really expensive ice cream or even a sneak to Nando's or Johnny's..

Tapi tak sampai hati.. Eventually, everyone got an ice-cream.

Among my favourite channel is 733 - Astro.. specifically "Perfect Housewives", "Help, I'm a Horder" as well as "Scrub". It's really amazing that some people do enjoy cleaning.. I tried watching "Cleanaholics" but they are mostly ridiculously clean that I get so upset with my part of cleaning.

I do like cleaning at times.. but not all the time that I can't even make a mess. My kids, following me.. are not that tidy but then I'd rather the way I am that being a perfectionist. I tried before.. trying to be as tidy as I could but I have to admit, it gets me and the people around me really stressed. I really wonder, as I go to my friends' house.. and couldn't help myself asking them.. how did they ever managed to keep their houses clean and tidy.. The answer is always the same.. "Kemas ke ni?" [sigh]..

Susahnya Kalau ada Buruk Sangka, Batu Api dan Lalang!

2009-08-05T18:44:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum..

Entah kenapa rasa hati memang tak sedap.. Kalau ikut orang melayu.. kalau tersedak tu maknanya orang tengah syok mengata kita.. Tiba-tiba tersedak masa tengah makan.. sebenarnya perut tengah lapar.. makan pun gelojoh, tu yang tersedak-sedak tu..

Tapi disebabkan kita tidak mengamalkan amalan islam yang sebenar, mulalah timbul sifat-sifat mazmumah di dalam hati. Bukan senang sebenarnya nak bersihkan hati. Nisfu syaaban pun dah dekat, buku amalan dah nak ditukar baru tapi masih belum bertaubat atas dosa tidak menjaga hati.

Salah satu penyakit hati ni tentulah buruk sangka.. Sebenarnya kalau kita berbaik sangka pada orang, hidup kita akan lebih tenang. Bila bercerita ni bukanlah mengata orang, sebenarnya 'reflect' diri sendiri.. dosa sendiri.. dengan harapan, bila terlupa, bila baca blog ni, saya muhasabah diri sendiri. Maklumlah.. kita bukan malaikat, iman sentiasa bertokok dan berkurangan.

Bila dah buruk sangka.. mulalah jadi sakit hati, syaitan pun membisikkan ayat-ayat cinta biar kita iri hati dan dengki. Bila syaitan tengah syok.. ada pulak syaitan kepala hitam yang suka mengapi-api. Mulalah dia memuji-muji orang yang kita sakit hati tu. Sebenarnya tiada kena mengena pun tapi bila hati kita pula macam lalang.. ditambah dengan syaitan dan kuncu-kuncunya.. dan askar tak diiktiraf berkepala hitam yang bermain dengan api.. ditambah pula rempah titik-titik hitam di hati.. maka kita pun menjadi lalang.. Terikutlah kita dengan hasutan syaitan dan sifat-sifat mazmumah yang menjadi makanan hati kita..

Hati yang sakit akan menjadi kotor, keras dan berkerak macam kerak karat di besi. Memang susah untuk dibersihkan kalau dah terlalu dibiarkan.. Sepatutnya zikir menjadi penawar hati.. ditambah pula dengan istighfar dari hati yang rendah menginsafi kesilapan diri sendiri. Apatah pula bila kita mengalirkan air mata apabila teringat dosa-dosa kita terutama sekali pada manusia. Bila kita berdoa pada Allah, alangkah mudahnya kerana Allah itu maha penyayang. Allah sentiasa akan mengampunkan dosa kita tapi apabila kita berdosa dengan manusia, manusia sukar untuk memaafkan, apatah lagi jika kita tak pernah pun mohon maaf pada mereka.

Saya juga manusia biasa.. yang punya penyakit hati.. mungkin dengar macam saya menasihati orang.. sebenarnya saya lebih kepada mengingati diri sendiri. Takut-takut penyakit hati ini melarat.. Apatah lagi, apabila kita tidak puas hati, mulalah muncung mulut ni melepaskan perasaan.. tidak sedar sebenarnya kita mengumpat dan memakan daging mayat saudara kita sendiri. Terdengar ustaz berkata.. mengumpat dah jadi satu 'trend' sampai orang tidak kisah mengumpat dengan alasan "Ini kisah benar, bukan kita buat cerita". Tapi sebenarnya mengumpat tu dilarang keras..

Teringat pula Ustaz Fauzi tersengih-sengih berkata di Al-Kuliyyah.. "syoknya bercerita pasal orang, cuba kalau orang buat kat kita..". Juga pernah terbaca.. sedang elok sekumpulan lelaki mengumpat, rasulullah menyuruh mereka berkumur. Dengan izin Allah, apabila mereka berkumur, terkeluar sisa-sisa daging dari mulut mereka walaupun mereka tidak makan daging sebelum itu.. Takutnya.. kalau itu benar-benar terjadi. Yang paling sedih, memang susah untuk kita berhenti mengumpat. Saya juga memang ada mengumpat.. Lepas dah reda marah.. barulah terfikir.. macam mana nak minta maaf.. Itu yang tak sabar-sabar menunggu raya.. boleh minta maaf zahir dan batin..

Tapi kadang-kadang bila saya bertekad untuk tidak mengumpat.. ada sahaja isu yang timbul. Saya tidak mengumpat kalau tidak ada kena mengena dengan saya, tapi bila terkena kat batang hidung sendiri.. memang susah saya nak elak. Kononnya, hati reda bila sudah melepaskan perasaan..

Ya Allah.. bersihkanlah hatiku ya Allah. Jadikanlah aku antara orang-orang yang sabar dengan ujianmu. Jika hatiku terlalu kotor kerana dosa ya Allah, maka kau gantilah hatiku dengan hati yang baru ya Allah. Kau buangkanlah sifat-sifat mazmumah di hati ini ya Allah. Kau tanamkanlah sifat sabar dan redha dalam menghadapi ujianmu.

Janganlah kau palingkan rahmatMu Ya Allah atas kelemahanku menjaga hati ya Allah. Amin amin ya Rabbal Alamin..

Dilemma di antara 2 Kedai

2009-07-28T02:39:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum.

Been a while since I last wrote.. Been organizing all my teaching materials that I've been prograstinating for the past 2 years. Now that I've started teaching form 3 part time, I really need to get organized.

I haven't been cooking properly since last week. Ada dilemma sebenarnya nak memilih antara 2 kedai. Sebenarnya memang dah biasa pergi kedai Acheh. Orangnya jujur. Tak pernah menipu dari segi harga. Kalau harga barang naik sikit memang dia bagitau sekian sekian.. Tapi masaalahnya.. bos sahaja yang bagi servis yang bagus. Kalau kita minta potong ayam, buang kulit dulu, potong 16 dan sebagainya.. memang dia akan berhenti buat apa yang dia buat dan terus buat dengan muka yang manis.

Kadang-kala memang agak cerewet sikit. Minta tolong dia buang kaki, isi perut dengan kepala je. Kadang-kadang potong tom yam (extra small). Bukan apa, bila balik rumah boleh terus masak..

Masaalahnya.. co-worker dia tu la.. Bila kita bayar, kita pulak kena tunggu dia habis tengok tv lah.. Yang paling sakit hati, kalau terkena dia baru bangun tidur, muka mencuka 14 depa. Kita nak minta pun serba salah. Yang lagi sorang pulak, sebab kita ni "regular customer", bila orang lain datang lambat, dia bagi orang lain dulu.. dengan alasan, kita mungkin boleh faham. Mula-mula tu bolehlah tahan, lama-lama kita pun fed up juga.

Dipendekkan cerita, masa tengah-tengah bengang tu, bukaklah satu kedai baru. Nak boikot kedai Acheh lah ni. Pergi ke kedai lagi satu. Sebenarnya dah lama berhenti pergi ke supermarket atau hypermarket sejak boikot Israel hari tu.. Beli barang sekadar yang perlu sahaja, tidak stok barang seperti selalu. Kononnya nak tolong orang Islam.

Layanannya first class, ikan daging semua segar-segar. Ambil terus dari pasar borong Puchong. Banyak lauk-lauk untuk masakan kampung, nangka, pucuk ubi, ulam-ulaman, mangga untuk buat kerabu. Pendek kata sesuai dengan selera orang Malaysia. Bila mula-mula beli di kedai, ada tetamu, borong sakanlah sampai RM30.00-RM40.00 sekali beli. Lama-kelamaan, beli pun makin berkurangan sebab beli barang harian. Sekarang ni asyik-asyik tanya, "beras ada lagi kak, minyak? Tak nak beli pisang ke?" Saya bergurau "Semua benda nak suruh kak beli ya?" tapi sebenarnya malas nak layan.

Saya serba salah. Nak pergi kedai Acheh, servis macam hapa, nak pergi sini, dah terlebih ramah sampai semua nak disuruh beli.

Minggu lepas, saya nekad buat keputusan setelah insiden ini terjadi. Teringin nak buat sup, saya minta 1/2 kilo tulang, dia pun bungkus. Bila dah siap beli barang-barang lain, saya pun tidak banyak cerita, bayar dan pulang. Setibanya di rumah, baru saya perasan tulang macam banyak, saya timbang. Rupanya 940gm dah dekat sekilo, bila saya cium bau, sudah tak 'fresh' macam biasa. Jadi ini kes nak habiskan barang lah ni. Saya terkilan tapi bersyukur pada Allah kerana memberi saya petunjuk.

Kita ni sebagai orang Islam.. kenalah tolong orang Islam, "support" perniagaan orang islam. Tapi yang berniaga pun kenalah cara orang islam. Jangan ingat nak untung je. Tak berkat. Layanan pun mestilah first class. Tengoklah Rasulullah berniaga, sampai Saidatina Khadijah jatuh hati dan terus pinang baginda. Walhal, Saidatina Khadijah tu memang orang kaya bangsawan, cantik yang menjadi rebutan pada masa itu. Saya baru je balik dari kedai Acheh.. Malam ni bersemangat nak masak!

Air Asia oh Air Asia

2009-07-21T19:23:00.000-07:00

My booking date was 30th June 2009. I just got everything settled by yesterday (21std July 2009). Honestly, it was partly myself to be blamed for the delay. But then, if it's not too difficult.. it would have been settled weeks ago.. So, just let me share with you what happened in case you need to deal with Air Asia.

It was not me actually.. flying anywhere, it's my son's teacher who is going back to Jakarta for Raya. We booked really early to get a cheaper fare. It was really cheap. Back and fro, it costed her only RM302.00 including tax, luggage as well as chosen seat for both ways compared to the normal RM600.00 she used to pay.

It would have really easy if I have a credit card instead of a debit card. The problem is, it was told in their site that payment could be made via Maybank2u. If I can make the payment via Maybank2u, it would have been really easy, but we couldn't so I'd try my debit card instead. However, there's an option for Debit Card, but then Maybank Visa (Debit Card) was not one of the options.

When I called up the first time, the salesperson (salesperson no. 1) asked me the time I tried to book the ticket and I told him just before midnight. He checked his computer and said.. it can be done now. The problem is, I told him, if I failed I have to call them again and .. their line is always busy. He simply asked me to try again. I hung up and tried again, still I could not make the payment.

Annoyed, I called them again, this time another salesperson (salesperson no. 2)said "why don't you click on the MEPs icon" I had to hang up since I was not in front of the computer.. (clever me) and I swear, there's no such icon. I had to call again, this time it was a different salesperson (salesperson 3), she told me that some of the flights are not supported by Maybank2u payment and suggested that I go to their sales counter at either KL Sentral or LLCT. Then, the problem would be solved. Okay... by this time I felt much better, at least she didn't ask me to click on an non-existent button. But is it worth it to go to KL Sentral or drive 50 minutes to LCCT?

The problem with paying at the post office is you have to book via the telephone. At this point, you are not able to choose a seat as it is not a confirmed booking. So, basically, I have to go to the post office and make the payment for the ticket and the tax (RM277.00+a whopping RM2.50 for the commission). Then, I have to call up again to choose a seat and luggage, and then go back to the post office and make the payment for it.

That's what I did. I paid for the booking. Exactly after I was out of the post office, I called up Air Asia and I told her I have already made the payment. She told me (salesperson 4), the payment is still pending. Asking where my location is, she told me, depending on the location of the post office, it may take 2 days to clear. Until the payment is clear, I can't pick my seat and pay for my luggage. What? That was another big mistake that I made. I actually made the payment at POS at Tesco instead of a big one. It may take a longer time to clear. [sigh]..

By this time, I called Azly (my husband) and tuuuuttt ttuuuutt ttuuuutt... I was really furious. I called my bestfriend, and told her I should have gone to her house for a favour of using her credit card and pay her cash. I really don't mind paying whatever commission and the service charge to her instead of all the hassle at the post office..

The next step was to wait two days for the payment to be cleared. So, I waited and received an email from AirAsia that my booking is confirmed. The next step was to call them and choose a seat, make the payment and get it confirmed. Easy right? Nope! This time, instead of going to the post office, I tried to make payment using my debit card. The salesperson (salesperson no 5) told me that he can try to charge it using my debit card. Then, I realized that I have taken all my money out to save all this RM1 charges when if I take out bit by bit. I only had RM22.00 in the account and the seat and luggage would cost me RM20.00 He told me it might not be possible. So, I told him, I'll call him later once I have transferred some money.

My husband transferred money in my account and I called them up again. This time, a lady salesperson (salesperson no 6) told me that I have to make payment by 15 July or the booking for the seat is cancelled. It was 14 July and I was furious as nobody told me that there was a dateline for the payment. I was just too busy with my son's sports day to be bothered with the payment. She told me, after the phone booking, I can't make any payment using POS Malaysia but have to pay at the sales counter instead (KL Sentral or LCCT). Debit card was also out of the question. #@!^&%!!! I argued. I told her I'm not driving to LCCT just to pay RM20.00. She put me on hold to ask her supervisor.

She agreed that I could pay at POS Malaysia and jotted down a note there. The problem is when it will take 2 days to clear and they might not hold my seat. Desperate, with my best friend's credit card no in my hand, I called them up and decided to make the payment for once and for all.. This time, a male salesperson with a very fluent native-like slang answered (salesperson no 7) and he called me MAM.. That was a good sign!

I told him about me wanting to make the payment using credit card.. As expected, he asked me to give him the card number and I gave it to him. Then, he asked me the card's expiry date (opps!!) as well as the security number at the back of the card. I hesitated, "I thought the security number is private and you are not supposed to share it with anyone". He patiently explained, when you are making an online transaction, of course it is dangerous to expose the number. But then, when you are making payment using phone booking, we cannot proceed unless we have the number". I was really confused. Okayla.. it was for security purposes. But I dare not take the risk.

Actually.. the security number was the reason why I didn't want to make the payment using my bestfriend's credit card. I simply don't want to know her security number though she does not really mind sharing with me since we are really close and she never doubted that I'd do any harm with her security number.

But then, I told her, I savior (is there such a word).. okayla.. I treasure our friendship more. In case anything happens with her credit card and it has nothing got to do with me.. of course it's gonna be really crazy I don't even want to imagine what will happen.

Anyway.. since it's gonna be a hassle, I decided to stick to making the payment at the post office. I told him that I was told earlier that the seat booking is reserved for me only if I the payment is clear by 15th July by midnight. "It's not advisable to make the payment at the post office if the date of the flight is near, mam" (that was about 2 months before the departure actually).. I told him the flight is not gonna be near soon, it's just the expiry date for my seat reserve. Still, he insisted that I should not make the payment at the post office if it's too near the date of the departure. I was even more confused. Then he gave me an option whether I can pay using credit card, or pay at the sales counter or the last option that he does not really favour is to pay at the gate on the departure itself. Blimey, it's like a never ending circle..

I suggested that he cancelled my seat booking and rebook, hoping that I'll get the chosen seat and a longer expiry date so that I don't have to worry about the payment being cleared before 15th July. My son's teacher told me that, if we don't choose any seat and pay in advance, you'll end up in a mess walking here and there looking for an empty seat and I understand completely. I myself would rather pay extra RM10.00 so that I can go straight to my chosen seat than the trouble of pushing here and there just to get a seat.

Perhaps he didn't get the idea.. or perhaps my Malaysian English does not match his native slang that he had trouble understanding. I told him I'll just pay and see what happens. He told me that once the payment is cleared, I'll get a confirmation (I assumed via e-mail like when I booked the flight).

After making the payment at the Bangi Post Office, I waited for the e-mail. I did asked POS Malaysia and they said it should be cleared by midnight the same day. I made the payment on the 14th, the payment was cleared on the 15th and yet on 21st, I still haven't received the e-mail. I called AirAsia for the final time. The salesperson (salesperson no 8) told me that if I have an account online, I can just check my booking under "Manage my Booking". But then, lucky me, I quickly remembered that I did ask my husband to check my booking online but he did mention to me that it was not possible to check online when you make phone booking. He received like.. you are not authorized to blah blah blah. I told this to her and she said she'll e-mail me the details. That was the only time when I got it straight on the spot. A few minutes after that, I received my e-mail.. confirming my luggage payment as well as the seat. Finally.. Alhamdulillah.. It was a loonnngg journey to Jakarta.. even before you board the flight..

I printed the e-mail and asked my son to send straight to the teacher. She was relieved. Imagine, she gave me RM300.00 cash. That was at the end of June, and she finally received the booking detail on 21st July. Luckily.. the date of the booking as well as the date of payment was stated in the e-mail which is 30th June. I really don't want her to think that I must have used the money first..

At the same time, I learnt a lot of new things. Honestly (and surprisingly).. I have this fobia of dealing with people whom I don't know on the phone. It's just awkward to pick up the phone and talk to strangers. But then, knowing that someone relied on me for the ticket and it actually save her RM300.00, I braved myself and did it anyway.. In return, I managed to overcome my fear and learnt it the hard way.. I thank Allah for the lesson. Normally, I'll just get my husband to do any phone call like this..

Hopefully, if there is any next time.. I know exactly how to do it.. Or perhaps, I should have just brought a notebook, went online and get someone to pay using their credit card and pay straight to them.. or the best thing is to go straight to their ticketing counter though it takes 50 minutes of driving but I can just get it done and over with there and then rather that making a few phone calls and go through all the hassle..

My phone bill is higher that usual.. not because of the number of phone calls that I made to Air Asia but the waiting time.. listening to their "konon2nya" soothing music and the prompts "Thank you for calling Air Asia, All of our salepersons are busy, blah blah blah..or feel free to call us back later" after every 15 seconds.. But then.. the experience is PRICELESS!

Let's Improve Your English!

2009-07-18T21:45:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum..

Recently a daughter of a friend of mine asked me on how to improve her English. Many of my students and close friends ask me the same question too. Most of the time, what amazes me is the fact that they have more or less the same reasons for not being able to speak in public (not unable to speak English.. but then to speak in public). Let me share with you what their reasons are. I'm sure you have more or less the same thing!

1) They can't just blurt it out!

They unconsciously have a long list of grammar rules in their mind, adjusting and readjusting their sentence before being able to come out!

Solution: Let it be.. I remember telling my students not to correct others! It does not really matter whether you speak perfect English or not. I remember one of my instructress in OBS, Lumut who really speak English like nobody's business. I can write a whole book on "English Errors" and gain money out of it just based on her grammatical errors. However, she spoke so confidently that I noticed nobody realized her errors! If you can do that, you are one step ahead!

Tips: Try speaking to yourself first, or pretend like you are talking to someone.. or just imitate the dialogues on tv. Sounds crazy? It does sound crazy.. but it helped a lot.. Nobody will say you are crazy when you are suddenly confident and fluent in English.

2) They just don't have the right vocabulary!

Most of them get stuck in the middle, not having the right vocab. The truth is, based on a research, we only use about 300 - 350 words repeteadly.. I have a list of 500 common words in English.. When I read together with my students, we realized that most of the words are understood by my students..

Solution: It's okay for you to mix up the language (Pecinta Bahasa will hate me for this). Just fill up the words that you don't know with Malay words. Who cares? Later, you'll get it. At the same time, try to read more english material.. and they need not to be boring.. Just read the subtitle when you watch "Cerekarama" or any Malay movies. Trust me, it'll help. In fact, it really help as it's mainly words used in our daily life.

3) They are scared if the pronunciation is not right!

Some of my friends really asked me just how I get it right. Honestly.. I started speaking in English in public at the age of 18. Being a TESL students was really hard as my friends came from English-speaking background, some of them come from Elite School like Tengku Kurshiah, MRSM etc.

When I first started speaking English, my heart would pound, I would start sweating and my face would blush like my first wedding night. We were required to have speeches every week. I remember waiting until everyone sleeps and practice my speech in front of the mirror at 3 o'clock in the morning. I felt stupid by it was worth it!

Solution: Get a good dictionary and learn how to use phonetic symbols at the back or the front page. Many think that it is difficult, but the truth is they are really simple. Close the words and practice pronouncing the words by looking at the phonetic symbols only!

Tip: Get Oxford Pocket Dictionary.. It's so small and handy that it fits your handbag.. The best part is, it only costs RM19.90! Honestly, I've bought many already but ended up giving it to my hardworking students. I remember one student who accepted my challenge to copy 2000 english words with definition to get the dictionary! She got it!

I think that's it for the time being! The most important thing is to keep on telling yourself! I'm good at English.. and insyaallah you will be!

GOOD LUCK!